I, Your Father, Carry a Big Stick

Chapter 71: Lightning Screams, Traumatizing Wild Boar

Catching Karui a little by surprise, Choji suddenly extended his hand the entire distance separating them, his fist swelling larger than the bronze-skinned Kunoichi’s petite frame.

“Holy shit…!”

Leaping back with the aid of her Lightning Release, a tiny bead of sweat appeared on Karui’s cheek as she playfully remarked, “Well, aren’t you full of surprises…”

Without waiting for Choji’s response, Karui flipped her katana around and charged forward at a speed the portly Genin could barely process. Luckily for him, she had been ordered not to openly kill or fatally wound anyone during their brief stay in Konoha, so with the literal Hokage observing her actions, Karui made sure to strike Choji with the back of her blade.

Feeling a sharp pain in his right shoulder, Choji turned his head but found no trace of his opponent. Karui’s attack hadn’t managed to break his bone or dislocate his shoulder as intended, but it still hurt like hell. Thus, when he felt another sharp in his lower back, the result of Karui jamming the hilt of her katana into his ribs, Choji formed a Ram Seal and shouted, “Dodge this…!” before abruptly expanding like a balloon.

Not expecting such a sudden ‘transformation,’ Karui was knocked back by the volatile expansion of Choji’s body. She wasn’t injured, but by the time she slid to a halt, the bulbous, ball-shaped boy was rolling toward her like a massive boulder.

Effortlessly evading the attack, causing Choji to embed in the wall behind her, Karui muttered, “What the fuck…?” with an incredulous look. She had encountered at least one other size-changing Shinobi in the past, but her current opponent was like an Ox in a ceramic tile shop.

As Choji attempted to dislodge himself from the wall, Karui recovered from her momentary stupor, lightning gathering around her right hand and forearm as she rushed forward, shouting, “Eat this, fatass…!”

Before Choji could even think to get angry about the comment regarding his weight, Karui punched his back and released a surge of electricity into his body. Lightning Release Jutsus were among the most troublesome for anyone that relied on their bodies to fight, as even a tiny jolt was enough to make your nervous system go haywire. Choji managed to endure a lot longer than most, but it was only a matter of seconds before his ball-like transformation ended, leaving him sprawled out on the ground with black smoke rising from his body.

Though the aroma coming from Choji’s body wasn’t even close to the delectable fragrance of pork, Karui narrowed her hawk-like eyes and cracked a predatory smile as she mused, “Smells like smoked barbeque. Guess the fragrance of wood rubbed off on you when you were hugging trees.”

With the Proctor declaring her the victor, Karui gave the middle finger to the jeering Naruto and Ino before making her way back to her Team and giving Omoi, her tag-team partner, a high-five. He was the next to choose an opponent, so once Choji had been hauled off by a group of Medic-nin, he jumped down and immediately pointed toward Ino, saying, “Come and fight me, pretty lady.” with a slight smile on his face. After witnessing how easily Choji had been dealt with, Omoi assumed Ino would be even easier to deal with as she was part of the same group and appeared distracted.

Hearing Omoi’s remark, Ino wasn’t happy. She ordinarily enjoyed hearing people call her pretty, but after tasting Wu’s ‘affection,’ she felt offended to hear someone else ‘hitting’ on her.

Borrowing a page out of Karui’s book, Ino gave Omoi the middle finger and said, “Save me the effort and bash your own face into the ground, cloud fucker. I don’t want to get your dirty, stinky sweat or blood on my clothes.”

Though he nearly exhaled a chuckle, Asuma, Ino’s Jonin-sensei and Hiruzen’s son, cleared his throat and said, “Go on and head down, Ino. Lord Hokage allowed them to pick their opponents, so it-”

Before Asuma could finish, Ino groaned, “Yeah, yeah…” before jumping over the railing and onto the ground below, producing virtually no sound as she did so. Most of the Genins participating didn’t notice this, but the eyes of every Jonin and the Hokage narrowed in suspicion as she began winding up her right arm, saying, “Remember, you asked for this.”

Witnessing Ino’s actions, Omoi, ever the cautious Shinobi, drew his sword and lowered his body into a ready stance. When the Proctor gave the go-ahead, he expected Ino to come charging at him with extreme speed, but she remained in place, forming a strange, square-shaped hand seal with her thumbs and index fingers touching.

Just as Omoi was wondering what Ino was about to do, his eyes widened in shock as his hands opened of their own accord, releasing the vice-like grip he had on his shoulders. Then, despite being fully aware, he began to punch himself in the face, his body seemingly acting of its own accord no matter how much he tried to exert his will.

(“What is this…!?”) shouted Omoi internally. He wanted to shout out loud, but even his vocal cords refused to heed him. All he could do was panic internally as he kept punching himself in the face until the Proctor finally called the match. Afterward, he immediately collapsed onto his knees, his bruised face locked into an expression of terror as Ino lowered her hands, narrowed her eyes, and asserted, “You’re lucky your little friend went easy on Choji. If not, I may have made you castrate yourself for daring to think you had any right to flirt with me. Hmph…!”

Since Omoi was too traumatized to respond, Karui shouted, “You blonde-haired bitch! You better pray we don’t face one another in the Finals! I’m going to flay your sorry ass…!”

Snorting through her nose, Ino left many of the senior Shinobi present feeling a little helpless as she gave her ass a satisfying smack, asserting, “You must have a bird’s brain as well as eyes. My ass is at least a 9.5/10, thank you very much. Stop embarrassing yourself.”

“You…!”

Gripping the railing hard enough to leave indentations in solid steel, the only thing preventing Karui from leaping down and teaching Ino a lesson was their current setting. If it weren’t for the presence of so many prying eyes, she would flay the arrogant blonde’s admittedly perky ass and feed it to her.

Fortunately for Karui, Samui was also there to reign her in, the inordinately busty blonde placing her hand on the young redhead’s shoulders, stating, “So long as you both continue to win, you’ll eventually face one another in the Finals…”

Inhaling a deep breath, Karui maintained eye contact with Ino as she said, “Count on it…” Then, as she didn’t trust Konoha’s Medic-nin to do a proper job, she leaped over the railing and followed after them as they carted off Omoi’s body. He hadn’t endured any critical injuries to his body, but his mind was in shambles as a result of Ino’s Mind-Body Disturbance Jutsu, one of the more fearsome abilities of her Clan as it permitted them to take over an opponent’s body and force them to self-mutilate or attack their own allies while fully cognizant of their actions…

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With Omoi carted off and Ino returning to her place next to Asuma and Shikamaru, Ryder leaped onto the training field with a solemn look on his face. The Raikage had drafted their Team to ‘ensure’ they got at least three people into the Finals, so they had already failed that aspect of their mission. Ryder wouldn’t allow them to fail the second, so while he wanted nothing more than to ‘crush’ one of the stronger Genins on Konoha’s side, he seriously considered his choice before pointing to Sakura, stating, “I choose you, the girl with pink hair.”

Though she was a little surprised to be chosen, a smile developed across Sakura’s face as she prepared to leap onto the training field. She was the ‘weakest’ among the girls that had trained together with Wu, but that was because she lacked hereditary techniques or a unique bloodline. Despite those two factors, she was supremely confident in her Chakra control and the techniques Wu had helped her to master.

Just as Sakura was about to leap over the railing, the sound of Wu’s voice tickled her ear, saying, “This guy is a plant from Kumo. He has Jonin-level Chakra reserves and a unique bloodline. You have my support if you want to challenge him, but you’re not his opponent at your current level.”

Hearing Wu’s words, the smile on Sakura’s face promptly faded. Instead of being obstinate, however, she unhesitantly called out, “I give up. I still have some growing to do before trying to become a Chunin. Good luck in the Finals.”

Not expecting Sakura’s response, nearly everyone looked at her with an expression of shock. The only exceptions were, once again, the various Jonin observing the matches to ensure nothing amiss transpired. None of them were proper Sensors, but they could sense from the moment Ryder stepped onto the training field that he wasn’t ‘ordinary.’ Thus, while others might question her, Kakashi placed his hand on Sakura’s shoulder, smiling at her with his singular eye and masked face as he stated, “You made the correct decision, Sakura. I’m proud of you.”

Since it wasn’t entirely her own decision, Sakura smiled bashfully as she rubbed the back of her head and replied, “There’s always next year…” in an awkward tone. At the same time, the desire to train even harder was firmly cemented in her heart and mind…

Witnessing his opponent quit without even trying to face him, a disproving frown marred Ryder’s face. Kumo would never allow one of their Genins to simply ‘refuse’ to fight, so his impression of Sakura immediately tanked. In spite of this, he returned a friendly smile, replying, “I wish you the best of luck next year…” before returning to his position next to Samui…

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With the matches of Kumo out of the way, Hiruzen narrowed his eyes in amusement as he turned to the delegation from Suna and asked, “Would Suna also like to choose their opponents? It’s only fitting that we extend the same courtesy to you, our ‘friends’ from the West…”

Since it was too good an opportunity to pass on, Baki gave an affirmative nod before turning to Temari, declaring, “You’ll go first.” in a firm tone that left no room for argument. The quadra-pigtailed girl furrowed in response but only hesitated for a moment before leaping over the railing and giving her potential opponents a perusal. Fortunately for her, she had quite a bit of intel on each participant, so a crafty smile developed across her face as she made ‘eye contact’ with Shino’s glasses and mused, “I choose the boy from the Aburame Clan. I should warn you, though. My Wind Release is going to tear that little swarm of yours to pieces.”

Though he was initially planning to leap down into the training field, Shino wavered when he heard Temari’s remark. An ordinary Wind Release would only pose a middling threat to his kikaichū, but Temari had called him out as a member of the Aburame Clan. Her words implied she had at least a basic understanding of his kikaichū’s capabilities.

Reasoning that he could always surrender if things looked dicey, Shino calmly replied, “We shall see…” before leaping over the railing and onto the training field below. Then, as Temari had already made it clear she knew of his status as a member of the Aburame Clan, insects began to swarm from the collar of his jacket and emerge from his sleeves, quickly shrouding his figure as a loud buzzing sound sent shivers down the spines of nearly everyone present, even some of the Jonin…

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(A/N: I was initially going to have Ryder seriously injure Tenten, but since Wu isn’t participating in the exams, I figured I would at least let him throw his weight around until the Finals xD…)