Chapter 91

The helicopter ride back to Seoul was almost entirely silent.

Partly because the noise inside the helicopter made conversation difficult, but also because neither of them was in the mood to sit close together, whispering and laughing.

Gyeol kept his gaze fixed outside the window, staring at the vast expanse of deep blue sea below. Every so often, he could feel Jun's eyes on him, but he pretended not to notice.

“Later, when things calm down, I want us to take a trip together.”

“A trip? Where?”

“Anywhere. Overseas would be nice. Jeju Island would be nice. Honestly, I'd even like it if we just went back to the East Sea.”

A troubled family background. Life as trainees. Debut. The fall into becoming a failed idol.

In all that time—not exactly short, yet not so long when he looked back on it now—a trip alone together had felt like a dream.

With the voice of someone describing an impossible future wish, Jun would often chatter about wanting to go somewhere with Gyeol.

“Anywhere is fine. The important thing is that I'm with you.”

You probably never knew that your eyes lighting up whenever you looked at me were a paradise greater than any destination.

Paradoxically, sitting beside Jun in the helicopter brought all those memories flooding back.

Does it feel like we're going on a trip or something?

The thought was so ridiculous that Gyeol swallowed the laugh threatening to escape.

As long as he remained in the entertainment industry, he had always assumed he would meet Jun again someday.

He had promised himself he wouldn't blush while dredging up old memories. Like Jun, who had gone on to soar higher and higher without him, Gyeol intended to greet him calmly and move on.

But who could have predicted their reunion would happen on R-Connect?

That Jun would cling to him.

That they would end up riding alone in a helicopter like this.

If someone told the Gyeol of eight years ago this story, what kind of expression would he make?

Would he be happy?

Would he be angry?

Or perhaps...

Would he be sad?

“Instead of someplace far away, instead of some distant future, don't you want to leave right now?”

“Right now? It's already past eight. We have schedules tomorrow.”

That was how, in the middle of winter and late at night, the two of them ended up bundled in hats and masks, visiting a park thirty minutes from their dorm.

The grounds were enormous, filled with rolling ✧ NоvеIight ✧ (Original source) hills, making it a place few people visited after dark.

The two of them wandered there for a long time.

Breathing fresh air.

Looking at the lake.

Watching the ducks and geese that guarded it.

“This is really nice. Just the two of us.”

“We're together every day anyway.”

“It's different. Right now it's completely just us. It's really just the two of us.”

Jun emphasized the word two again and again.

Occasionally someone passed by walking a dog, but the streetlights were sparse and no one recognized them.

The two of them laughed as though drunk on the night air.

They spun in circles for no reason at all, pretending to dance.

After sitting on the grass for a while, Jun suddenly sprang to his feet and grabbed Gyeol's hand.

“Come here.”

“Jun, seriously, you're insane.”

“It's fine. Hurry.”

The place he dragged him to was the highest hill in the area.

The moment they reached the top, both of them breathing hard, Jun threw himself onto the grass.

“What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?”

Too bewildered to do anything else, Gyeol nudged Jun's thigh repeatedly with the tip of his shoe, urging him to get up.

Instead, Jun grabbed his wrist and pulled.

Gyeol resisted for a moment before finally losing and collapsing beside him.

The wind brushing his cheeks was cold.

The damp grass quickly soaked through the back of his clothes.

So this is it. He kept sacrificing sleep to practice, and now he's finally gone crazy. Though there were signs before.

Still staring at Jun with disbelief, Gyeol eventually looked up.

And found the winter night sky overflowing with stars.

“...”

“You can see them well, right? There aren't any tall buildings around.”

Seeing Gyeol fall silent as he stared upward, Jun asked proudly.

The situation was absurd.

The clumsy attempt at romance was embarrassing.

And yet...

The moment still felt special.

Jun had always been capable of making things feel that way.

“I like you, Gyeol.”

The whispered voice slipped into his ears like a falling star.

“More than anyone else in the world.”

The place Gyeol chose for the Golden Date was none other than that very park.

In previous seasons, more than ninety percent of the cast had been ordinary people. As long as production obtained permission beforehand, they could film almost anywhere.

Season 10 was different.

Gyeol was still obscure enough that he could walk around freely. At most, people stared because he was good-looking.

Jun, however, was the leader of a top-tier idol group.

On top of that, his popularity on variety shows had made him recognizable to people of all ages. Even with a mask and hat, sharp-eyed fans would identify him.

Producer Yoo and the staff suggested choosing somewhere more private.

But Gyeol had no confidence in spending an intimate day with Jun in an enclosed space like a hotel or fine-dining restaurant, surrounded by pink romantic tension.

That wasn't why he had chosen Jun for the Golden Date in the first place.

So he chose this place.

A place with few people.

A place where they could date while avoiding other people's eyes.

Hidden beneath that decision was another desire.

He wanted to revisit a place filled with memories of Jun and bring those memories to a proper end.

“...”

After leaving the helicopter and transferring to a car, Gyeol checked Jun's expression when they arrived.

Jun clearly recognized the place.

He remembered too.

Gyeol had worried that, with cameras rolling, Jun might blurt out, Isn't this that place from back then?

But Jun, perceptive as always, didn't pretend to recognize it too quickly.

That was still something Gyeol respected about him.

The differences from then were obvious.

It was daytime instead of night.

Summer instead of winter.

And they were no longer lovers.

“Let's go farther inside. Somewhere without people.”

“Okay.”

For now, they had to look like they were on a date.

Allowing the cameras to follow them, Gyeol walked side by side with Jun.

Past the entrance stretched a wide plaza and a peaceful landscape.

Perhaps because it was a scorching weekday afternoon in midsummer, there weren't many visitors.

A few children playing despite the heat.

Their guardians.

An elderly person strolling slowly through the grounds.

That was all.

“It's peaceful.”

“Yeah.”

“Want some cotton candy?”

The question seemed random.

At least, it would have to anyone else.

Not to them.

Back when they traveled for events, cotton candy would unexpectedly appear everywhere.

Both of them loved sweets and often talked about wanting some.

Unfortunately, Kisoo Yang had never been willing to indulge trainees asking for giant balls of sugar.

His answer was always the same.

Eat something with protein in it.

Or have another bowl of brown rice.

“Yeah. I do.”

He had stopped craving it years ago.

Still, the memories made him nod.

“One rabbit-shaped cotton candy, please.”

Soon, a cloud-like puff of cotton candy rested in his hand.

A pink rabbit with sky-blue ears.

This reminds me of Yuli.

The moment he saw it, he pictured Yuli.

His son grinning brightly despite having cotton candy smeared all over his chubby cheeks.

And just like that, reality returned.

Not that he had ever truly forgotten reality.

But whenever he felt even slightly untethered, thinking of Yuli always planted both feet firmly back on the ground.

You're not the old Gyeol anymore.

Remember what you're responsible for.

“Here.” ℯ

Without hesitation, Gyeol tore off one of the rabbit's ears and held it out to Jun.

Jun stared at him blankly.

“How can you kill a rabbit without even hesitating...?”

“We're going to eat it anyway.”

Gyeol shrugged as though the comment were ridiculous.

“If you don't want it, forget it.”

Jun accepted the ear and said mournfully,

“If you're going to kill it, you could've at least taken a picture first...”

“A picture?”

You and me?

That was what Gyeol wanted to ask.

Instead, Jun smiled faintly and pulled something unexpected from his bag.

Not a phone.

A camera.

“You brought a camera?”

“It's a Polaroid. I thought it might come in handy. Today seemed like a good day to use it.”

Thinking about everything ahead, Gyeol didn't particularly want to.

But refusing would look strange.

After all, Jun Shin and Gyeol Go were on a Golden Date.

“Come over here.”

Jun gestured toward a patch of grass where nobody was passing.

“Why?”

“To take a selfie.”

“Ah.”

Pulling his mask down beneath his chin, Jun teased him.

“Gyeol, don't tell me you thought I was only taking pictures of you. Solo shots? That's pretty cruel.”

“Just take the picture.”

With a flat reply, Gyeol removed his mask and stood beside him, leaving about a handspan of space between them.

“One. Two.”

The moment Jun said three, he grabbed Gyeol and pulled him closer.

Click.

Before he knew it, the photo had been taken with their shoulders pressed together.

“Oh, come on...”

Letting out a disbelieving laugh, Gyeol stepped away.

Jun was still smiling.

After pulling his mask back up, he handed over the photograph.

For now, it was only a pale blur.

Waiting for their faces to emerge while he adjusted his own mask, Gyeol found himself remembering something.

An old thought.

A secret thought.

A thought so painful he had buried it forever after entertaining it only once.

“Has it developed yet?”

If Yuli had been born while Jun was still by his side—

“Not yet.”

What would have happened to us?

Just as buried memories became clearer each time they were revisited, the photograph slowly sharpened.

Looking into the smiling face and eyes of the Jun in the picture, Gyeol silently mouthed the words in his heart.

Jun.

I had a child.