Chapter 36

A shadow fell over Hanseul Ga.

Slowly, he lifted his eyes and looked up at Gyeol.

There was no What is it? in his gaze.

He simply stared.

Without meaning to, Gyeol ended up standing beside Yo Han Sung, who was seated near the edge of the table.

From Hanseul’s perspective, the two of them were framed side by side.

“Hanseul, right? Since you asked me directly, I figured I should at least answer properly.”

“...Sure. Go ahead.”

Hanseul lazily turned his eyes aside and idly touched his lips as he answered half-heartedly.

Gyeol bent slightly at the waist.

He lowered himself to Hanseul’s eye level, forcing him to look directly at him. Humans naturally looked at people who entered within a certain distance.

“My Ivory Mansion date with Yo Han Sung was really fun.”

One of Hanseul’s brows twitched.

Just as Gyeol expected.

With people like this, the direct approach worked best.

Hanseul. Unfortunately for you, I’ve been through a lot.

It’s true Jun Shin helped me survive it. But the years he wasn’t there still lasted a full eight years.

A failed idol. A son I’m secretly raising.

What kind of life do you think I’ve lived?

“So I hope you get to go on the next Ivory Mansion date with Yo Han Sung.”

Right now, on this island alone, the craziest bastard of all was standing right beside him.

Compared to that, the sudden aggression of an Omega late-entry twist was almost cute.

“.......”

Hanseul said nothing.

He only stared at Gyeol with a faintly sulky expression.

It was impossible to tell whether he simply couldn’t hide his emotions or didn’t care to hide them at all.

Maybe his life in the entertainment industry had been easy so far.

Or maybe he was the son of some powerful family with strong backing.

“Please take care of me for the rest of the time we have left here. I’m going to go talk for a bit, so I’ll see you later.”

Smiling brightly, Gyeol extended his hand for a handshake.

At this point, Hanseul had been completely pushed into a defensive position.

“Please take care of me too.”

Mumbling the words, Hanseul took his hand.

Fortunately, he at least seemed aware that if he continued acting entirely according to his temper, there was no way production would give him a flattering edit.

***

Crash.

The deep blue ocean rolled in refreshingly before sweeping across the sand and retreating again.

The weather was so clear it was hard to believe yesterday had been filled with gray skies and torrential rain.

The blazing sunlight poured down mercilessly, making it hard to even keep his eyes open. Frowning, Gyeol trudged along behind Jun Shin.

“Oh right. You can never open your eyes properly under bright sunlight.”

Muttering to himself, Jun Shin pulled off the sunglasses hanging between the buttons of his pale blue shirt.

He stepped directly in front of Gyeol.

Holding the arms of the sunglasses with both hands, he moved closer.

Gyeol immediately scrunched his face further and sidestepped him.

“I’m fine.”

“The cameras are filming everything.”

“Fuck.”

Their voices dropped into whispers.

Smirking in satisfaction, Jun Shin slid the sunglasses onto Gyeol’s face.

They looked strangely familiar.

“Doesn’t this pair stop blocking UV rays by now?”

“I paid to get the coating redone at the store. Do you know what kind of sunglasses these are?”

“You’re unbelievably pathetic. A guy who’s supposedly a P-brand ambassador still hanging onto discounted sunglasses he bought on sale....”

“They were my dream. Team Cruise sunglasses.”

Jun Shin answered cheerfully before humming the OST from a famous movie starring Team Cruise.

It had been eight years since Gyeol last heard him sing live.

Over the years, Jun Shin’s voice had grown somewhat lower. Even the habit he used to have of slipping slightly off-key had been completely polished away.

Without realizing it, Gyeol thought:

He improved.

While Jun Shin endlessly improved and clawed his way upward, what about Gyeol Go?

Did I improve too?

He couldn’t confidently say yes.

...I don’t know.

What would you think if you saw me now?

The impulse to ask suddenly rose inside him.

But none of the countless words bubbling at the tip of his tongue actually left his mouth.

Instead, he only kept walking while staring through the sunglasses at the waves breaking apart like they were clawing at the earth.

The summer sun on the deserted island was brutally hot.

The sunlight blazing endlessly across the beach burned intensely.

Maybe that was why the difference one pair of sunglasses made felt so enormous.

Even Gyeol, who had absolutely no reason to feel guilty toward Jun Shin, strangely found himself feeling apologetic to him.

“You okay? Your eyes still hurt?”

“They hurt.”

“Then should I take the sunglasses back?”

“You’re the reason they hurt.”

“Are you insane?”

Startled, Gyeol shoved Jun Shin hard with his shoulder.

Caught off guard, Jun Shin’s body tilted sideways.

“Whoa.”

He staggered awkwardly for a few steps trying to regain his balance, but a wave instantly swept around his ankles and tangled him up.

Jun Shin ended up collapsing straight into the seawater.

“Ah! Cold!”

“Hey!”

Flustered, Gyeol rushed toward him.

Jun Shin frantically waved him away.

“Don’t come over. Your shoes will get wet.”

“It’s fine. Seriously—”

You’re saying things you don’t even mean.

The person who knew better than anyone that Gyeol Go could never leave someone struggling alone was Jun Shin.

Especially when Gyeol himself had caused it.

Without caring about his shoes getting soaked, Gyeol strode straight into the water.

Soon the seawater rose all the way to his calves.

Jun Shin didn’t move at all until Gyeol reached him.

Finally standing in front of him, Gyeol looked down crookedly and held out his hand.

“Why are you sitting there like an idiot? Get up already. Sorry for pushing you.”

The sight of him drenched in water reminded Gyeol of their trainee days, when Jun Shin would be soaked in sweat inside the practice room.

Jun Shin grabbed Gyeol’s hand tightly.

That too brought back memories of all the times Gyeol used to pull him to his feet during their trainee years.

The countless fragments of the past embedded between two people who had spent their adolescence together had seemed gone.

But apparently, they had simply remained intact somewhere all along.

Even meaningless physical contact stirred up waves inside them, sending buried fragments surging violently back to the surface.

“Gyeol.”

Jun Shin didn’t stand up.

Instead, he pressed the corner of his eyes against the back of Gyeol’s hand.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought I was going insane yesterday.”

“.......”

“Seeing Sun Choi come back with you made me feel awful too.”

“Stop it and get up.”

“I’m dizzy from jealousy.”

Gritting his teeth hard, Gyeol tried to yank his hand away.

“Then don’t be.”

But Jun Shin tightened his grip just in time.

He was always like this.

When it came to Gyeol Go, Jun Shin was always just a little faster.

Another wave crashed over them.

Gyeol’s body swayed slightly.

The sunglasses slid down to the tip of his nose.

Jun Shin looked up at him like a rain-soaked stray dog.

Gyeol hated how quickly the corners of his eyes were growing wet.

Letting out a sigh, he removed the sunglasses and shoved them back onto their owner’s face to hide his eyes.

“They’re your sunglasses, so you wear them.”

“You bought them for me anyway.”

That was true.

Gyeol had bought the sunglasses.

It was after their debut, when they received their first heartbreaking settlement payment.

Gyeol had spent most of the tiny amount paying off his brother’s debts.

Then, with the money he had left, he bought the Team Cruise sunglasses Jun Shin had wanted for ages.

It wasn’t exactly a memory he was proud of.

Calling them Team Cruise sunglasses sounded nice, but really, they were just an old discontinued model from the same brand that had been sitting around for years, discounted heavily in a clearance sale.

They weren’t even luxury sunglasses, but Gyeol’s hands had still trembled while spending over a hundred dollars at once.

Pathetic.

The memory of Jun Shin beaming brilliantly with happiness while wearing those sunglasses was pathetic.

The fact that they had once been happy over a pair of not-even-that-expensive sunglasses was pathetic.

And the fact that the memory still remained glittering and beautiful even now—

That was truly pathetic.

“Either stand up or let go. Pick one.”

“I don’t want to do either.”

“What exactly are you trying to do? You’ll catch a cold.”

“...I don’t know either. I just... feel like I’m going crazy.”

Jun Shin’s words trailed off weakly.

Thinking he must have heard wrong, Gyeol pushed back his hair and asked:

“Are you crying?”

“.......”

Jun Shin tilted his head slightly.

His eyes were hidden behind the sunglasses.

Once more, he leaned his forehead against the back of Gyeol’s hand.

There were no sobs, but his uneven breathing trembled harshly.

How long has it been since I last saw Jun Shin cry?

Jun Shin wasn’t the type who cried easily.

By nature, he was strong-willed and mentally resilient.

Even when harsh instructors tore into him during their trainee years, he would energetically shout “Yes!” and practice all night long afterward like a lunatic.

His smiling face was his weapon.

His natural sociability and leadership that embraced everyone were his greatest strengths.

The last time Gyeol had seen Jun Shin cry was when Manager Kisoo Yang told them to break up before SAVE ME’s comeback stage.

“...I’m not crying.”

“.......”

You absolutely are.

His voice was thick and muffled.

Consumed by indescribable emotions, Gyeol stared blankly down at him.

He couldn’t bring himself to cruelly push Jun Shin away.

As though he had simply never learned how.

You idiot, Gyeol Go. Pathetic fucking idiot.

Did you already forget what this bastard did to you?

You’re softening just because of one miserable tear?

What happened to SAVE ME?

How have I lived all these years?

He forcibly dragged up ugly thoughts.

He struggled desperately to hate Jun Shin.

To resent him.

It wasn’t enough.

Once the emotions began crashing over him, there was no way to stop them.

Faint sniffles mixed into the sound of the waves.

“Why....”

Why are you the one crying?

I’m the one who should want to cry.

The words pooled inside his mouth.

“.......”

Gyeol bit down hard on his lower lip.

The urge to spit out the truth clogging his throat surged violently upward.

At that moment, another wave crashed in.

This one was much larger and rougher than before.

Gyeol instantly lost his footing and fell forward.

The checkered shirt and white pants he had carefully dressed in that morning were ruined by seawater.

When he lifted his head again, he realized he was in Jun Shin’s arms.

Sunlight poured down from above, illuminating Jun Shin’s eyes clearly.

He was crying.

With the same eyes Gyeol had once treasured so dearly, Jun Shin was crying.

“Why are you acting like you’re the one who got abandoned?”

In the end, Gyeol finally spoke the taboo he had protected for so long.

“You’re the one who left me behind.”