Chapter 149

After the pheromone matching ended and they received the instructions for the Ivory Mansion date, Hanseul Ga lay buried in his bed with his back to the door.

The door was closed, but every so often, he could hear the excited voice of Hee Jun Kang, who was looking forward to the Ivory Mansion date, and Jaekyung Park eagerly playing along with him outside.

They seemed to be trying to keep their voices down, but the door was thin and did little to block sound. Their voices felt as though they were lightly scraping across his nerves.

I like Gyeol.

“Fuck.”

Muttering the curse under his breath, Hanseul curled up even tighter.

He wanted to quit the show. He truly wanted to walk away.

It was not as though he had never told Producer Yoo that he wanted to leave.

When Yo Han openly drew a line between them, Hanseul—already out of his mind and then struck by another bombshell—left the scene and went straight to Producer Yoo behind the cameras.

Producer Yoo’s response had been lukewarm. She told him to calm down and take more time to think about it.

Hearing that made it sound as though he was someone incapable of calming down in a moment. Just as the humiliation crushed Hanseul’s pride and he was about to pour out another stream of words without considering the consequences, Producer Yoo cut the situation short with only a few remarks.

“There’s a limit to how much we can protect you through editing, Hanseul. We’re genuinely grateful because you’re such an honest and uninhibited person, but... I’m going to say this carefully because you seem unfamiliar with dating shows, since you’ve been so busy with your acting career. Leaving a show like this carries considerable risk. It would certainly put us in a difficult position, but the truth is, the contestants who leave tend to suffer the most.”

It was true that he had never properly watched anything as trivial as a dating show. He had always been the center of the world, and everything had to revolve around him. Someone like Hanseul had no interest in other people’s personal lives or romances.

That was why, even after his appearance was confirmed, Hanseul had taken everything lightly. He had not even considered searching for or gathering information about dating shows or R-Connect.

He had merely half-listened to the nagging from his father’s company and the manager’s rambling, letting it all pass through one ear while focusing solely on his goal of finally cementing his relationship with Yo Han this time.

But... had Hanseul truly wanted things to work out with Yo Han?

What he felt was closer to possessiveness than devoted love. A twisted conviction that he could not stand to see someone else possess what he himself could not have. He already knew that Yo Han was indifferent to him. He had simply refused to acknowledge it and looked away.

That was why, without Hanseul even realizing it, his goal had eventually shifted away from advancing their relationship and toward sabotaging everyone else.

“Woo Seok Jung already left under unpleasant circumstances. We do everything we can to keep people quiet, but the entertainment industry is so small that stories leak out one way or another. So, to be completely honest, we expect the reason Woo Seok left to spread through the industry eventually.”

Now, after being unmistakably rejected and then forced to watch Yo Han and Gyeol match with each other and leave for Ivory Mansion while he was left behind like a dog chasing a chicken, Hanseul found himself thinking:

Then he shouldn’t have led me on.

In reality, Yo Han had never once led Hanseul on. He had always chosen Gyeol, yet Hanseul directed his resentment toward Yo Han as though he had been betrayed.

“But if you leave right after Woo Seok, what do you think the viewers will assume?”

Hanseul pushed all responsibility for his long, exhausting admiration and pursuit of Yo Han onto Yo Han himself. He even blamed Yo Han for the fact that he had set foot on this island.

Going further back, he ground his teeth and told himself that if Yo Han had only drawn a clear boundary from the beginning, he would never have appeared on this pathetic island in this garbage show.

“Even if we try to defend you in the most favorable way possible, the public will keep thinking of what happened with Woo Seok and judge you through that example. Once the word ‘departure’ becomes fixed in the public’s mind, there’s nothing more we can do for you.”

Remembering Producer Yoo’s words suddenly sent a chill across Hanseul’s shoulder blades.

Until now, he had been intoxicated by the image of being “cool,” pretending not to care what anyone thought of him. But drawing the public’s open hostility was another matter entirely. Above all, he did not want to hand them justification to tear apart and dissect Hanseul Ga as their latest prey. Once given an excuse, they became even more vicious.

Arbitrarily assuming that other people thought and behaved the same way he did, Hanseul abandoned the idea of leaving the show.

“God, why are they so loud? Do they think they’re the only ones staying here?”

Hee Jun and Jaekyung’s voices were still filtering through the closed door. However, they had grown quieter, making it difficult to hear what they were saying.

Hanseul’s already frayed nerves sharpened as he wondered whether they might be talking behind his back.

The two of them were merely talking about Tommy. Hee Jun had confessed that he genuinely wanted things to work out between them, and Jaekyung had gladly volunteered to act as his counselor.

But people only saw what reflected their own minds. Hanseul distorted even their peaceful everyday conversation. He bristled at something that would have caused no problem at all if he had simply let go, driving himself deeper into a pit of his own making.

There was not a single thing he liked about any of it.

The production staff. Yo Han and Gyeol. Jaekyung, who had become arrogant after being treated kindly. Hee Jun, some obscure member of an idol group, thoughtlessly getting excited right in front of him. The Alphas who liked Gyeol. Even Hwang Gyujin, who had no eye for people...

Hanseul clenched his teeth.

***

“What am I supposed to do?”

Gyeol felt buoyant, as though colorful balloons had been tied all over his body.

Slightly dizzy from the alcohol, he squeezed the hand he was holding. It was a hand with definite gravity, as though keeping him anchored to the ground. Warm, soft, and large, it was the perfect hand to entrust himself to.

Through one foggy corner of his mind, Yo Han’s voice filtered in like fine sand trickling through a narrow gap.

“I don’t think holding hands alone will satisfy me.”

Sand began accumulating inside the balloons. Gyeol grew steadily heavier. The sand was hot, heating him from within as he became heavier and heavier.

It quickly filled the balloons completely. They felt ready to burst at any [N O V E L I G H T] moment. The precarious sensation made the area below his stomach tingle.

“...Then what?”

When Gyeol asked the question with slurred pronunciation, Yo Han leaned toward him. Instinct welcomed his approach.

Hot breath brushed his ear.

“I won’t be able to stop at kissing.”

“......”

“I think I’ll want to touch you.”

The balloons burst.

Gyeol did not know where the strength came from. He pulled Yo Han down with all his might. A single chain of thought spun endlessly through his mind.

Then you can touch me.

If we sleep together, you can touch me.

The truth is, I... want to touch you too.

The scene skipped in broken fragments, like strips of film from an old movie spliced together. Each time Gyeol’s hazy consciousness flickered, the situation had changed.

Yo Han collapsed over him, and then Gyeol pushed him onto the bed...

And climbed on top of him.

A tight surge of conquest rose inside him, exciting his drunken body.

“Mm, no. Let’s get you down.”

Yo Han gently coaxed him while holding his waist. Gyeol easily shook his hands off and bent forward.

He looked down at Yo Han’s face from only inches away.

“What do you mean, no?”

The world before his eyes seemed otherworldly. Gyeol moved his hand across Yo Han’s smooth forehead, the prominent bone of his brow, and his long eyelashes. As he did, he felt heat increasingly gathering lower in his body.

Yo Han caught Gyeol’s wrist but did not forcibly pull it away. He looked deeply troubled, but Gyeol could not have cared less.

He stroked Yo Han’s cheek, touched his ear, traced down his jaw, and finally reached his lips. Gyeol swept his fingertip across them. They were soft.

The inside of this is like a hot cave. It’s warm enough to make me feel good.

A murmur escaped him on its own.

“There are too many things you won’t let me do... You were always like that. That’s why you confused me.”

He had no awareness of what he was saying.

Various pieces of the past simply rose to the surface. The way Yo Han had smiled when Gyeol first saw him. The hands that had looked after him. The handkerchief Yo Han had given him. Their first kiss. The voice saying he could not do it because it was disgusting. The distance that had opened between them. Gyeol lingering alone. Their reunion. The threat. The help. The way Yo Han had smiled while looking at Yuli...

“Gyeol, be good. You’ve had far too much to drink.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a child.”

The words came out sharp enough that, for a moment, Gyeol barely recognized his own voice.

“...You were cruel to me.”

Sadness immediately flooded over him. His emotions rose and fell like a roller coaster.

Yo Han reached up and pressed his thumb beneath Gyeol’s eye, wiping away the moisture there.

“...You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You’re really awful...”

“......Yeah.”

Then I’m allowed to do whatever I want.

If you truly want to win my heart, you can let me do anything I want.

His dulled brain made absurd, unreasonable demands. They were thoughts Gyeol would never have entertained while sober.

Kissing you however I want.

Touching you however I want.

Cameras.

The word suddenly struck his mind like an electric shock.

Gyeol felt around the bed and caught the edge of the blanket that had slipped halfway down.

“Are you cold?”

Even then, Yo Han watched him with gentle concern. But because the question had nothing to do with Gyeol’s purpose, the unnecessary words failed to reach his ears.

Gyeol pulled the blanket upward. Yo Han caught the middle and helped him lift it, but Gyeol did not notice. There was no need to.

The blanket fell over both of them. The bedroom was quite dark with only a single mood lamp turned on. Trapped beneath the covers, they could see each other only as faint silhouettes.

“Gyeol...”

Gyeol cut him off.

“Don’t tell me I can’t.”

That was the most important thing at that moment.

“I’m going to do whatever I want.”

Lowering his hips and pressing their groins together, Gyeol pushed his lips against Yo Han’s mouth.

A heavy wave of pleasure spread through the place that was already swollen tight.