Chapter 77 – A meal in silence

Matt ate in silence.

Not because the food was bad.

No.

It was good. Too good. That was the worst part.

Every dish had been prepared with an annoying level of care. Meat cut into small pieces, fresh-baked bread, clean fruit, thick soup and several desserts set near him without anyone asking anything.

Everything smelled good.

Everything was hot.

Everything seemed designed so that his body, after days without eating properly, would stop complaining for a while.

Matt hated that it was working.

He brought another piece of meat to his mouth and chewed slowly, his gaze low.

Across from him, on the other side of a long table, Elyra Nivea was watching him with a red goblet between her fingers.

The queen wasn't eating much.

She was just looking at him.

That made the food taste worse.

The hall was large and lavish, with dark walls, red lamps hanging from the ceiling, a polished floor and heavy curtains closing off the tall windows.

There were servants around the room. Many. All of them standing with their backs straight, hands crossed in front of their bellies and eyes closed.

All of them.

Not a single one was looking.

Elyra had given that order before Matt walked in.

"Don't open your eyes until I allow it," the queen had said with a calm smile.

None of the servants asked why. None hesitated. All of them closed their eyes immediately.

Matt understood the reason the moment he saw his reflection in a silver goblet.

His white hair was a mess. Short. Tousled.

Not dirty with blood, at least not much. Elyra had allowed him not to bathe after the fight because Matt had made it clear he preferred to die rather than obey another absurd order from her at that moment.

But she had made him change clothes.

Now Matt was wearing a black shirt of thin fabric, dark pants and a light jacket that fit fairly well on his body.

The clothes were a boy's.

Or at least trying to be.

The problem was that his physical body wasn't a boy's anymore.

The outfit didn't look bad.

That was also annoying.

Matt lowered his gaze to his plate.

Elyra, on the other hand, seemed satisfied. Not entirely. Her gaze drifted every so often toward Matt's hair, and her fingers tensed slightly around the goblet.

The messy hair was a problem. A serious one for her.

Not because Matt was hurt. Not because they had just destroyed part of a room. Not because he had tried to shoot her with two ego-weapons.

No.

The problem was that her daughter, according to Elyra, could not be seen with poorly kept hair.

Elyra wanted to make an announcement. A proper one. A big one. One the whole kingdom would remember.

She wanted to present Matt to everyone as her daughter and heir. The very idea stirred an excitement in her that was hard to hide.

Elyra raised the goblet and drank a little. The blood touched her tongue, but she barely paid attention to it. Her mind was elsewhere.

In the packed throne room. In the houses bowing. In the voices repeating Matt's name with respect.

In the looks of surprise, fear and obedience.

In the image of Matt at her side. Groomed. Clean. Dressed with dignity. Head held high. Red eyes open in front of the whole kingdom.

Elyra felt pride and also satisfaction.

And something more.

Something she preferred not to name.

Then she looked at Matt's face.

The pride weakened a little.

Matt kept eating with a dulled expression. Not annoyed. Not furious. Not defiant.

Dulled.

That was new. And Elyra wasn't sure whether she liked it.

Matt had always been difficult. Stubborn. Impulsive. Foul-mouthed. Too willing to throw himself against a wall if it meant contradicting her.

But this quiet, tired, unreactive version was different.

Elyra set the goblet down on the table carefully.

"When you're officially announced as heir, you'll receive six personal attendants," Elyra said in a soft voice.

Matt kept eating and didn't look up.

Elyra waited.

One second. Two. Three.

Matt speared another piece of meat with his fork.

Elyra coughed softly.

"Matt," she insisted, tilting her head slightly. "I said that when you're officially announced as heir, you'll receive six quite competent personal attendants."

Matt chewed, swallowed, drank water and then raised his gaze to her.

"And you expect me to dance for that?" Matt asked without emotion.

One of the servants moved her fingers slightly. Elyra noticed the movement and said nothing. Then she let out a small laugh. It wasn't a loud laugh. Just a soft sound, almost amused.

"Your comebacks are still awful," Elyra said, with a smile.

"And you're still saying awful things expecting them to sound nice," Matt answered, going back to his plate.

Elyra rested an elbow on the arm of her chair.

"My wish is that you get used to living in the palace."

Matt didn't answer.

"I want you to become familiar with your spaces, your responsibilities and the people who'll be at your service," Elyra continued. "It would also be good for you to give a few orders."

Matt looked up slightly.

"I want to investigate whoever is attacking us," Matt said.

Elyra watched him. The response had been immediate. She liked that. A little. It wasn't enthusiasm for the palace. It wasn't acceptance. But it was initiative. And Matt with initiative was much better than Matt sunk in silence.

"I like that attitude," Elyra said, smiling a little more.

Matt looked at her with distrust.

"That wasn't a compliment I care about."

"It was one anyway."

"How horrible."

Elyra laced her fingers on the table.

"But you'll take a few days of rest before beginning your duties as prin..."

She stopped.

Matt stopped moving the fork.

The hall fell silent. Even the servants seemed to tense.

Elyra looked at Matt. Matt looked back at her.

The word hadn't come out fully. But it had gotten close.

Too close.

Elyra changed the phrase calmly.

"As part of the royal family," Elyra corrected, keeping her voice steady.

Matt kept looking at her a second longer. Then he let out a long sigh and went back to eating.

Elyra took that as a small victory. Not a big one. Not enough. But something.

"You need to recover," Elyra said. "Your body responded well during our exchange, but you're still unstable."

Matt cut a piece of bread with his fingers.

"Don't call it an exchange."

"Would you prefer fight?"

"I'd prefer failed homicide attempt."

Elyra smiled.

"I didn't try to kill you."

"You cut me in two."

"And you're here eating."

Elyra looked at her plate. Then she looked at Matt's messy hair again. Her fingers moved a little.

She wanted to fix it. Badly. Too much.

But Matt was in that state where touching him without permission could end in another fight. And Elyra didn't want to fight again. Not in the middle of a meal. Not in front of servants with their eyes closed. Not before finishing her assessment of how much he had changed.

"I can assign separate rooms for each of your ego-weapons," Elyra said, changing the subject carefully.

Matt stopped.

"What?"

"Separate rooms. Near yours, if you prefer."

Matt frowned.

"What for?"

"So they can rest in appropriate spaces."

Matt looked at her for a moment. Then he shook his head.

"No."

Elyra raised an eyebrow slightly.

"No?"

"No," Matt repeated. "They like being fused with me."

Elyra went quiet.

The sentence was simple. Too simple. And that was why it surprised her.

Before, Matt would never have said something like that about Eleonora.

Not that way.

Elyra remembered his relationship with the sword very well. Matt had been distant. Always. He only approached Eleonora when he had to train, when she gave him a mission or when he needed to use her in combat.

The rest of the time, he set her aside. He'd shut himself in his room. Lie down. Read. Sleep. Stare at the ceiling.

Anything that didn't involve talking to his ego-weapon.

Eleonora had insisted for months about the soul contract, about the practices, about the need to complete the bond, and Matt would reject her again and again.

And now he was saying his weapons liked being fused with him.

Elyra held his gaze.

Matt went back to eating and didn't explain anything more.

That was strange. Very strange.

"Did you grow attached to them?" Elyra asked calmly.

Matt didn't look up.

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"No."

"You said they like being with you."

"That doesn't mean I'm attached."

"But you don't want to separate them."

Matt set the fork on the plate. The sound was small. One of the servants breathed a little louder.

Matt looked at Elyra.

"They like being fused with me," Matt repeated, more dryly. "There's no need to give them rooms."

Elyra held his gaze. Then she smiled slightly.

"Understood."

Matt let out a humorless laugh and picked up the fork again.

Elyra didn't press. The silence returned. Matt ate. Elyra drank. The servants kept their eyes closed.

The queen let a few seconds pass before touching on another subject.

A more delicate one.

"About your human family…" Elyra said gently.

Matt didn't react. Not a gesture. Not a slower blink. Nothing. He kept eating.

Elyra narrowed her eyes slightly.

Before, those words were enough. A small comment about his mother or his sister could make Matt clench his jaw, close his fists or raise his voice.

Sometimes all at once.

Now there was nothing.

Elyra set the goblet down on the table again.

"I thought you'd ask about them…" Elyra said.

Matt cut another piece of meat.

He didn't answer.

Elyra waited.

Matt ate.

The silence became unpleasant.

Not for Matt.

For Elyra.

That was also new. The queen wasn't used to Matt's silence making her uncomfortable like this.

"If you want…" Elyra said, measuring each word, "someday I could allow you to visit them occasionally."

Matt kept eating.

Elyra looked at him more attentively.

Nothing.

Not a spark in his eyes.

Not anger.

Not hope.

Nothing.

Elyra felt the excitement she'd had earlier about the announcement cool a little.

'This isn't normal.'

Elyra looked at Matt's face. The way he lowered his gaze. The way he ate without hurry. The dulled tone of his answers. The lack of reaction when she mentioned his family.

'Is it him?'

The question appeared without Elyra wanting it to. Not because she didn't recognize Matt. She recognized him. His voice. His gestures. His way of insulting her.

But there was something different.

Something that didn't quite fit.

Elyra thought about the mental barrier. About that barrier that had pushed her back. About the presence on the other side.

About the existence inside Matt.

Her new daughter.

The vampiric ego born from him.

Matt had changed after the cave.

A lot.

Too much.

Before he was rebellious and impulsive. Before he snapped easily. Before every threat to his human family made him lose his composure.

Now he was there, eating quietly without answering.

'Is he being consumed?'

Elyra didn't look away.

The possibility didn't exactly scare her. But it did unsettle her. She didn't want to lose Matt. Not now.

Elyra set the goblet down.

"Answer me," Elyra said.

Matt kept looking at his plate.

"Matt."

He lifted his eyes slightly.

Elyra spoke more firmly.

"If you don't answer, I'll get rid of them."

The hall went still. One servant clenched her hands tightly. Another lowered her head a little more.

Matt stopped moving the fork. His free hand slowly closed on the table. The knuckles stood out.

Elyra saw it. She saw the tension in his fingers. She saw the anger trying to come out. And for a moment she felt relief.

'There you are.'

But Matt didn't get up.

He didn't shout.

He didn't break the table.

He only closed his eyes.

He breathed. Then let the air out. When he opened his eyes again, his gaze was still tired.

"Are you done saying stupid things?" Matt asked in a low voice.

Elyra lost a bit of her smile. Not much. But enough.

"Watch your tone," Elyra warned.

"I don't feel like it."

"Do you want to fight?"

Matt looked at her.

"No."

The answer was quick, dry and honest.

Elyra rested her fingers on the table.

"Then, if you don't want me to teach you a lesson again, answer my question. Your human family. What do you want me to do with them?"

Matt didn't answer right away. His hand was still closed, but no longer trembling.

At last, he spoke.

"Leave them alone."

Elyra watched him.

"Explain better."

Matt let out a short laugh.

"You could start by no longer spying on them," Matt said.

Elyra didn't answer.

The sentence made her pause. Not out of guilt. Not exactly. But because, for the first time in that conversation, she understood something she hadn't yet put in order.

Matt had been locked away in the cave for three years.

Three full years.

Three years away from the human world.

Three years without real news.

Three years without knowing what had changed outside.

And the human world was no longer the same. The monsters. The problem with the elves' world tree. The damaged zones. The attacks.

Surveillance had become necessary in a different way.

Broader, more frequent and invasive.

Elyra couldn't tell him that. Not like this. Not now. She couldn't mention how much time had passed. She couldn't explain that his family had lived three years without him while he still believed his absence hadn't been that long.

That would break him or make him explode. Matt was already too close to the edge.

Elyra laced her fingers on the table. Her expression calmed.

"I'll take your request into consideration," Elyra said.

Matt looked at her in silence. Then he lowered his gaze to his plate.

"Thanks for taking my very difficult request into consideration," Matt let out sarcastically.

Elyra looked at him. Matt cut another piece of bread.

The tone. The response. The exact way of ruining even a concession.

Elyra felt something inside her relax.

'He's there.'

Matt was still Matt. Different. More closed off. More tired. But still him.

That didn't solve everything. Not even close.

Because inside him there was another. Another daughter. Another existence Elyra hadn't been able to see. Another piece she needed to understand.

Elyra observed Matt's hand. Then his chest. Then his lowered eyes.

'How can I talk to you?'

Not to Matt. To her. To the one inside.

Elyra knew that if she pushed too hard now, it would be a terrible idea. Matt wasn't in a stable state. His rebelliousness was still alive, but it came mixed with exhaustion, silence and something Elyra still didn't know how to name.

If she tried to force her way into his mental world again, it could provoke another reaction. If she threatened too much, Matt would close the door tighter. If she touched his human family, everything could break.

No. Not for now.

Elyra picked up the goblet again, though she didn't drink. She only held it.

She would wait.

All Elyra needed was patience. And patience she had. Plenty.

Matt kept eating in silence.

Elyra looked at him with a slight smile.

The servants remained with their eyes closed.

And Matt's white hair stayed messy, far from any gaze Elyra considered unworthy.

Thank you for reading!

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