Chapter 71 – A nagging doubt…

Noxx was sitting on the dining room floor, her back against the low cabinet, a cushion underneath her and a controller in her hands.

Now there was a television.

A big television, square, chunky, with those wide gray plastic borders that Noxx vaguely remembered from some borrowed memory of Matt's. Underneath the TV there was a shelf with a console on top.

On the screen there were four little characters, running along a track. One was red. One blue. One pink. One yellow.

'…Yellow's in last place again.'

Noxx lifted her eyes just barely above the controller.

Beside her, sitting cross-legged with a look of total concentration, was Moon, who was gripping the controller with both hands, her thumbs moving slowly, and the tip of her tongue barely poking out from the corner of her mouth.

Moon was playing the yellow character. And the yellow character was, as always, in last.

On Noxx's other side, almost leaning on her shoulder, was Sun. Sun was holding the controller with one hand, the other resting on her knee, with a calm, almost bored expression.

Sun was playing the blue character. And the blue character was in first.

Noxx didn't get how.

It was the third day they'd been playing, and Sun had already gone from crashing into walls at every curve to cutting through shortcuts Noxx hadn't even noticed existed.

"…Sun."

"Yeah?"

"How did you do that?"

"What?"

"That. The jump over the ramp."

Sun didn't take her eyes off the screen.

"I sped up beforehand."

"Yeah, but…"

"And I jumped when the color of the track changed."

"…Oh."

Noxx frowned and looked back at her own screen, split into four quadrants. Her character was the red one. She was in second. Not bad, but not good either.

And Moon…

Moon was in last place again.

"Aw!"

Moon let out a tiny squeal when the yellow character fell off the edge of the track and a little cartoon hand lifted him up through the air to put him back on the track.

"…Teacher."

"What?"

"I fell."

"I saw."

Moon barely pressed her lips together and looked back at the screen, her fingers moving clumsily over the buttons. The yellow character took off, drove two feet, and crashed into a cactus.

Noxx sighed.

'Maybe she's just not good at games?'

Moon had been practicing for real. Noxx had seen it. She sat with the controller even when nobody else was playing, pressed the buttons slowly, tried to turn.

But every time there was a sharp curve, every time there was an obstacle, every time there was literally anything that wasn't a clean straightaway, Moon ended up crashing.

And still she kept trying, with a smile, like losing was fun.

Noxx didn't know if that was cute or worrying.

On the other hand, Sun had crossed the finish line in first place, again.

The screen showed a tiny animation of the blue character celebrating with her arms up. Sun let go of the controller with the same calm expression she'd picked it up with, tucked her red hair back just a little, and turned her head toward Noxx.

"I won."

"I saw."

Sun nodded slowly, with the seriousness of someone announcing an important result.

"And I improved my time."

"Good."

"By two seconds."

"Good, Sun."

Sun nodded again, satisfied, and leaned against Noxx's shoulder without asking permission. Noxx didn't move. She'd already resigned herself to the fact that Sun was just like this.

She'd win, announce it, and then lean against the nearest person like it was a prize she was giving herself.

Moon, on the other hand, was still playing. Her yellow character was on the final lap.

"…Almost."

Noxx looked at her.

"Moon."

"…Yes, teacher?"

"They already finished."

"I know."

"You can quit."

"I don't want to."

Noxx blinked.

"…Why?"

Moon didn't take her eyes off the screen. She was taking the turn wrong again.

"Because I want to finish."

"You're going to come in last."

"I know."

"…Oh."

Moon pressed her lips together and kept playing. With the same concentration as before.

Noxx watched her for a long while.

'…I don't get it.'

Sun, leaning on her shoulder, spoke in a low voice.

"It's her way."

Noxx turned her head slightly.

"What?"

"Her way of playing."

"Finishing even if she loses."

On the screen, Moon crossed the finish line in fourth place.

Fourth out of four.

Moon let out a tiny giggle, set the controller on the floor, and raised both hands.

"I finished, teacher!"

Noxx looked at her. Moon smiled, satisfied, and leaned against Noxx's other shoulder, without asking permission, just like Sun. Noxx ended up squeezed in the middle, with a twin leaning on each shoulder, staring at the empty TV screen with her mouth pressed slightly shut.

◇◆◇

"NO! NO! NO! THAT'S NOT A SHORTCUT, THAT'S AN EDGE! AURORA, THAT'S AN EDGE!" Moon yelled.

"IT'S A SHORTCUT!" Aurora shot back.

"YOU'RE GONNA FALL!" Moon yelled.

"I'M NOT GONNA FALL!" Aurora replied confidently.

On the screen, Aurora's red character fell into the void.

"You fell," Sun said in a calm tone while smiling.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

"Aurora…"

"I DIDN'T FALL!"

"Aurora, we all saw your character fall..."

"IT'S A GLITCH IN THE GAME!"

Aurora was standing with her legs slightly apart, gripping the controller with both hands, her face so close to the TV that Noxx didn't understand how she could see anything.

Her hair was messy, her cheeks were red, and she had that look of total fury that came over her every time she played anything.

Noxx watched her from the floor.

'…Every time she plays with us I regret inviting her.'

It was a lie.

Because when Aurora wasn't playing with them, the atmosphere was calm, sure, but also boring.

Sun would win. Moon would lose. Noxx was somewhere in the middle. And that was it. Nothing ever happened.

When Aurora came in…

Anything could happen.

Aurora was, without a doubt, the strangest player Noxx had ever seen in her life. She didn't accelerate on the straightaways, she accelerated in the curves.

She didn't use the marked shortcuts, she looked for shortcuts that didn't exist. She didn't brake before the cliffs, she accelerated to jump over them.

And sometimes, against all logic, it worked.

It worked so well that she'd finish first with such an enormous lead over the others that it was embarrassing.

And other times, with the exact same strategy, she'd fall off in the first curve several times and not get back on the track until the race was over.

There was no middle ground.

Aurora was either the best or the worst.

And Noxx didn't know what bothered her more. Whether it was when Aurora was the worst, or when Aurora was the best.

Because when Aurora was the best…

"I WON! I WON! I WON! LOOK! I WON!"

Aurora was jumping in place. With the controller raised above her head. With her eyes shining and her mouth open in a smile that took up her whole face.

"I'M THE BEST!"

"Aurora," Noxx said.

"I BEAT ALL OF YOU!"

"Aurora, sit down."

"NO! I'M CELEBRATING!"

"Aurora."

"LET ME CELEBRATE, NOXX!"

"…"

Noxx closed her eyes for a second.

Moon, beside her, was clapping slowly with a tiny smile as she closed her eyes.

"You won, Aurora..."

"I KNOW I WON!"

"That's fine."

"YEAH, IT'S FINE!"

Sun, on the other side, didn't say anything. She just ran her hand over her forehead and sighed.

And it was always like this. When Aurora won, she'd spend ten minutes celebrating. She'd jump. She'd run around the dining room. She'd climb on the cabinet. She'd get off the cabinet. She'd go up to each of them and tell them to their face that she was better.

She'd tell Noxx she was better than Noxx. She'd tell Sun she was better than Sun. She'd tell Moon she was better than Moon.

Especially Moon. She'd say "I won" many times, with details.

Then came the part where she'd demand Matt say it too.

"TEACHER! TEACHER, I WON!"

Matt, sitting on the low cabinet with a book in his hand, barely looked up.

"Good."

"DID YOU SEE THAT I WON?!"

"I saw."

"DID YOU SEE THAT I'M THE BEST?!"

"Mhm."

"SAY IT, TEACHER!"

"Say what?"

"THAT I'M THE BEST!"

Matt lowered his book slightly and looked at her.

"Aurora."

"SAY IT!"

"You won a race."

"YES! AND I'M THE BEST!"

Matt raised the book back up.

"That's..."

"TEACHER!"

Aurora ran over to him, flung herself onto his shoulder, and started squishing his cheek with her palm.

"SAY IT!"

"Aurora, get off."

"NO! NOT UNTIL YOU SAY IT!"

"Aurora."

"SAY IT, SAY IT, SAY IT!"

Matt slowly closed the book, set it down on the cabinet, and turned his head to look at her. Aurora held his gaze with that spoiled-brat face of hers, knowing perfectly well what she was doing.

"…You won."

"AND!"

"…You were the best."

"YES!"

Aurora gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and jumped down to go back to the screen, shouting things nobody was listening to anymore.

Noxx watched the whole thing from the floor. And she frowned slightly.

'…It's too much.'

But then came the other part.

The part Noxx did enjoy.

And that was when Aurora lost.

When Aurora lost…

Aurora lost really badly.

"Aurora~"

Moon, from the other side of the dining room, was always the one to start. With a tiny, sweet, almost shy voice.

"…Yes?"

"We all finished~"

"…I know."

"You're going to come in last."

"…I know, Moon."

"I'm going to finish before you."

Silence. Aurora pressed her lips together.

"Shut up, Moon."

Moon would blink, with that innocent face.

"Are you seriously going to keep trying that?"

"SHUT UP!"

Sun, without turning her head, would always chime in with something.

"That's the third time you've messed up."

"SUN!"

"Just letting you know."

And there, Noxx, unable to help it, unable to not do it, would jump in.

"What about the strategies, Aurora?"

"…No."

"The shortcuts?"

"…Noxx, no."

"Did you accelerate through the curve?"

"NOXX, NO."

"Can't jump the cliff?"

"NOXX!"

Aurora would start shaking. With the controller still in her hands. With her cheeks getting redder and redder. With her eyes shining. That special shine, the one Noxx had learned to recognize, the one that meant Aurora was one comment away from crying out of rage.

Aurora would turn around, with a tear already welling up, and run off toward Matt.

"TEACHER!"

Matt would close the book.

"…Aurora."

"THEY'RE MAKING FUN OF ME!"

"I saw."

"NOXX IS MAKING FUN!"

"Mhm..."

"AND MOON! MOON TOO!"

"I've been watching."

"TEACHER, DO SOMETHING!"

Matt would sigh, but he'd stroke her head. And Aurora, with her face hidden against his shoulder, would keep complaining about all of them in a muffled voice, mumbling more complaints.

Noxx, watching the scene from the floor, with Moon still leaning on her shoulder giggling quietly, felt something strange in her chest.

'…Ah.'

Noxx lowered her gaze to the controller.

'Now I get why I like it when she plays with us.'

◇◆◇

The days started to pass like that. One after another. With the same structure.

They'd get up. They'd eat the breakfast Matt had taught them to make. Aurora would help, Moon would get distracted by anything around the house, and Sun would clean some parts of the house.

Then they'd play. Then Matt would order something, and send them to tidy up with him, though Aurora would climb onto his back every two minutes and not tidy anything.

Then came the part Noxx still couldn't wrap her head around.

Matt didn't leave.

He'd stay to play. He'd stay to cook. He'd stay to read on the low cabinet while the twins napped piled on top of Aurora, who complained they were heavy but didn't push them off.

He'd stay to brush Moon's hair.

That one had been hard for Noxx to believe the first time.

She'd walked into the dining room one morning, still half asleep, and had seen Matt sitting on the low couch, with Moon sitting on the floor between his knees, while he ran a tiny comb through her white hair slowly, patiently.

Noxx had stopped in the doorway.

"…"

Matt had glanced up.

"Good morning."

"…Good morning."

"Coffee?"

"…Yeah."

"It's over there."

Noxx had walked over to the table without taking her eyes off them out of the corner of her vision. Moon had her eyes closed. Her expression calm, almost sleepy. Matt was running the comb through her hair with a soft rhythm, working out every little knot with care.

The following days too.

He'd brush Sun's hair. He'd brush Aurora's hair, even though Aurora complained about everything and told him he was pulling and that it hurt and that she did it better on her own, but then she wouldn't move and would let him brush it anyway.

He even brushed Noxx's hair a couple of times, though Noxx hadn't asked and hadn't wanted to and hadn't been able to say no either.

And it wasn't just the hair.

It was everything.

Matt talked to them about nails. He cut their fingernails. He explained to Moon why she shouldn't bite her fingers. He taught Sun how to file hers. He fought with Aurora because Aurora wanted to paint hers a horrible bright red.

He talked to them about clothes.

About which colors went with which. About why that shirt didn't match those pants. About how to fold them so they wouldn't wrinkle. About how to put them away.

He talked to them about how to wash their faces, and lots of other things about the kind of care girls needed. And Noxx, watching him from a corner, with a book resting on her lap that she hadn't read in three days, started to notice something.

Noxx closed the book slowly. She looked at the dining room window. On the other side, the sunset was still there. Same as days ago. Same as weeks ago. Same as… how long?

'…How much time has passed?'

Noxx didn't know. And that was the problem.

◇◆◇

"Matt."

Matt looked up from the knife he was using to cut something in the kitchen.

It was afternoon.

The twins were napping on top of Aurora, on the other side of the dining room. Aurora had picked them up in her arms twenty minutes ago, sat down, and also fallen asleep with them on top of her.

She was asleep with her mouth open, and snoring. Noxx was standing in the kitchen doorway.

"…Matt."

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you."

Matt set down the knife.

"Right now?"

"Now."

"…Here?"

Noxx looked toward the dining room. She looked at the three sleeping. She looked at the pot on low heat.

"No. Somewhere else."

Matt looked at her for a second. Then he nodded. He wiped his hands on a cloth, covered the pot, turned the heat down, and walked behind her without saying anything else.

Noxx led him down the hallway to a door that wasn't always there. It was there now because she'd wanted it to be.

Noxx opened it, walked in, and waited for Matt to come in behind her, then she closed it.

The room was small and simple with two armchairs facing each other, a rug in the middle, and a lamp. Nothing else.

Noxx sat in one of the armchairs, Matt sat in the other, and they looked at each other.

"…"

"…"

Matt waited.

Noxx pressed her lips together.

'Alright. Let's start.'

"Matt."

"Yeah?"

"If you don't leave..."

"Mhm."

"And I don't leave..."

"Mhm."

"…what happens to the body?"

Matt blinked.

"…What body?"

"The one outside."

"Oh. That one."

"Yeah. That one."

Matt leaned back slightly, crossed one leg over the other, and ran a hand over the back of his neck.

"…Don't think about that so much."

Noxx stared at him.

"…What?"

"Don't think about that so much."

"Matt."

"Enjoy this time, Noxx. That's it. Don't overanalyze it."

"Matt."

"Seriously. You're better. They're better. Aurora laughed like four times today without picking a fight with anyone. Moon is learning to brush her hair on her own. Sun asked about a book. Everything is fine."

"Matt."

"What?"

Noxx lowered her gaze, ran a hand over her face, and took a deep breath.

"…I get it."

"Get what?"

"That I'm wearing you out with this."

Matt frowned slightly.

"Noxx."

"No, listen. I get it. Really. I know I've been on the same thing for days. And I know maybe it's exhausting for you that I keep asking. And I really don't want to be a pain."

"Noxx."

"But I need to ask you something."

"…"

"And I need you to answer me for real this time."

Matt looked at her.

"Okay."

Noxx raised her gaze and looked him in the eyes.

"Did you really give up?"

Matt didn't answer right away. He just kept looking at her. And Noxx felt the silence stretch on, and on.

"…Matt."

"Stand up."

"…What?"

"Stand up."

Noxx blinked.

"…Why?"

"Stand up."

Noxx hesitated. She leaned lightly on the arms of the chair. She stood up slowly, with her brow furrowed.

"Matt, I don't get what—"

Matt stood up too and walked over to her, went around behind her, and rested both hands on her shoulders from behind.

Noxx tensed instantly.

"…What are you doing?"

"Nothing."

"Matt."

"Shh."

Matt's thumbs pressed into the muscles of her shoulders. The ones that ran from her neck down to where her arms started. And Noxx realized, in that second, that her shoulders were stiff.

Really stiff. So stiff that even she hadn't noticed.

"…Ah."

Matt pressed a little harder.

"Ah..."

It was a tiny sound. Involuntary. It slipped out without her realizing. A sound of relief, longer than she would have wanted, with her mouth barely open.

Noxx shut her mouth instantly.

She turned red.

"…Matt."

"Yeah?"

"Stop."

"No."

"Matt, stop."

"Not yet."

Matt's thumbs moved up a little. They went from her shoulder to the base of her neck, pressing slowly, finding spots Noxx didn't know she had.

"…Nnh."

Another involuntary sound. Noxx squeezed her eyes shut.

"Matt…"

"Yeah?"

"Stop, seriously."

"No."

"Matt, I'm serious."

"So am I."

The thumbs went down. They moved to her shoulder blades. They pressed there. And that's when Noxx felt something that caught her off guard, a deep tug, like something inside her had suddenly come loose, and her knees buckled slightly.

"…Ah…"

Noxx grabbed the back of the chair so she wouldn't fall.

"…M-Matt…"

"You're really stiff, Noxx."

"…"

"How long since you stretched?"

"…I don't know."

"It shows."

"…Matt, seriously."

"Seriously what?"

Noxx wanted to answer.

She really did.

But Matt's thumbs found another spot, right under her left shoulder blade, and Noxx let out another sound, longer this time, with her mouth open and her eyes barely closed.

"…Aah~…"

Noxx felt heat in her face.

A lot of heat.

She felt her legs weren't responding right. That she was leaning more and more of her weight on the back of the chair. That her head was drooping forward a little, and she couldn't lift it.

"…Matt…"

"What?"

"…N-no…"

"No what?"

"…I don't know."

Matt kept going.

He moved down her back. He found a spot between her shoulder blades where Noxx hadn't noticed she was all tight.

He pressed there with both thumbs at the same time, firmly, and Noxx felt something break loose inside her, something good, something that let go in a way that scared her because she hadn't thought she was that tense.

"…Aah…!"

Noxx clenched her teeth.

She wanted to say something cutting.

But what came out was another tiny whimper.

"…Matt~."

"Yeah?"

"…Stop..."

"No."

"Matt."

"Five more minutes."

"Matt, no..."

"Three."

"…"

Matt kept going.

He found a spot lower down. Another. Another. And with each one, Noxx's knees buckled a little more.

And with each one, her breathing got a little more ragged.

And with each one, she felt her head hanging farther forward, and her mouth staying open, and it starting to get hard to swallow.

A tiny tear slipped out of Noxx's eye.

"…M-Matt…"

"Yeah?"

"…I-I can't take it anymore…"

Matt noticed, saw the tear and her ragged breathing. He saw her buckled knees and her hands clenched on the back of the chair, and he moved them away slightly and held her by the shoulders, firmly, so she wouldn't fall.

Matt lowered his hands and stopped.

Noxx was left leaning against the back of the chair with both hands, her back bent, her hair falling forward, breathing heavily through her mouth.

"…"

"…"

"…"

Matt waited.

Noxx tried to speak.

"…M-Matt…"

"Breathe."

"…Y-yeah…"

"Slowly."

"…Yeah…"

Noxx breathed slowly. Through her mouth. With her eyes closed. Her cheeks still hot and her chest rising and falling hard.

"…Y-you jerk…"

"What?"

"…N-nothing."

"You said something."

"…N-no."

Matt smiled slightly.

"You said jerk."

"…N-no."

"I heard you."

"…"

Knock, knock.

"…Teacher?"

Moon's voice came from the other side. Noxx felt her heart stop.

'…NO!'

Noxx straightened up all at once. Or tried to straighten up all at once, but her legs were still trembling, and she grabbed the back of the chair harder so she wouldn't fall.

"…M-Matt, tell her to go away!"

"On it."

Matt raised his voice slightly.

"Moon."

"…Yes, teacher?"

"We're busy."

"…Oh."

"Later."

"…Yes, teacher," Moon answered before going quiet and stepping away.

Noxx closed her eyes. She ran one hand over her face. She ran the other hand over her face. She squeezed her cheeks with both hands, and took a deep breath.

'…That was close.'

Noxx felt like her head was going to fall off from the embarrassment.

"…Matt."

"Yeah?"

"…I hate you."

"Okay."

"…Seriously."

"Okay, Noxx."

Noxx stayed leaning on the back of the chair a little longer. With her back bent forward. With her face hidden between her arms, breathing slowly.

Matt waited without saying anything more.

After a long while, Noxx lifted her face. She wiped her sleeve across her eyes. She fixed her hair a little. She straightened up slowly, testing her legs, seeing if they'd respond.

They did. Barely. But they responded.

Noxx sat down in the armchair and Matt sat down across from her.

"…"

"…"

Noxx took a breath.

"…Matt."

"Yeah?"

"…Listen to me."

"Yes."

"I know you don't want to talk about this."

"…"

"And I know you want me to enjoy this time."

"…"

"And I really, really appreciate everything you're doing. With the weapons. With me. With everything."

"…"

"But we can't underestimate her."

Matt looked at her.

"…"

"The queen."

"…"

"We can't, Matt. I don't know what she's doing. I don't know how much time we have. I don't know what she's waiting for. But she's waiting for something. And when she wants to act, she's going to act. We're not going to be ready if we stay here."

"…"

"I'm not saying you go out now. I'm not saying I go out. I'm just saying we shouldn't underestimate her."

Matt looked at her for a long while without answering. Then, without saying anything, he stood up, and walked over to her. He crouched down in front of the armchair, meeting her at her height, rested his hand on her head and stroked her hair slowly, gently.

Noxx blinked, confused.

"…What?"

"Relax, I've already got a plan."

Hello, everyone!

ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

First of all, I want to thank you all so much for being patient with me during this break. I know this novel went quite a while without an update, so I wanted to explain a little better what happened.

(｡•́︿•̀｡)

This ended up becoming one of my longest breaks because I first got sick and had a fever. When I finally started feeling better, my eye began itching and bothering me a lot. I eventually went to the doctor, and they confirmed that I had conjunctivitis.

(╥﹏╥)

Thankfully, the eye drops they prescribed have been working, and I’m feeling much better now. I’m still recovering little by little, but I can finally return to writing and publishing more regularly. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

So, yes! This novel is finally back!

ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

For now, the free version will receive one new chapter every two days. I want to maintain a schedule that I can consistently follow while I finish recovering and catch up on everything I still have pending.

(｡•́‿•̀｡)ゞ

On Patreon, however, I’ll continue publishing three chapters every two days. This is because I’m still very behind on the marathon unlocked by the $100 subscription… and now another marathon has piled up on top of it.

(⊙﹏⊙)

So, it looks like there will be plenty of chapters for a long time!

ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

Patreon readers can currently read up to Chapter 81, and the number of advanced chapters will continue growing as I work through these marathons.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you so much for staying here, waiting patiently, and continuing to support this story even during such a long break. It genuinely means a lot to me.

(´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

But I’m finally back, so get ready for plenty of new chapters!

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ