Chapter 243: Magic with Professor Im Sol! (5)

It had been a while.

This kind of feeling.

It was the first time she had ever enjoyed a Magic Expo this much.

She even wondered what the cause was for her to be this happy.

Of course, she already knew the cause.

There was only one difference from the exhibitions she had attended in the past.

The presence of her student, Lee Ho-yeon.

Perhaps because of that, Im Sol began to dread the approaching time of their appointment.

Her promise with her student was [Looking around the exhibition during the morning].

'My student seems to be enjoying it too, so wouldn't it be fine to extend our time a little more?'

For the first time in a very long time, Im Sol decided to humble herself a little.

Humbling herself to her student wasn't truly giving in.

It was merely one of the attitudes of tolerance she had to show as an educator.

Or so she thought.

"T-Then, you see."

"Yes?"

Looking at Lee Ho-yeon blinking at her as if asking what was wrong, Im Sol felt a ticklish sensation.

Feeling awkwardly embarrassed for no reason, Im Sol avoided his eyes and continued speaking.

Desperately ignoring her slightly heated cheeks, she attempted to act like a spoiled child for the first time since becoming an adult.

"Since today... is marked as a field trip anyway. I'm not forcing you, but if you're okay with it. Yeah. If you don't have anything to do... then in the afternoon as well..."

It was something that required a great deal of resolve in its own way.

Because Im Sol was also giving something up, even putting off the magic research she had to do in the afternoon.

However, before Im Sol could even finish her sentence.

Crash! KABOOM! Thump-!

The sound of something exploding filled the exhibition hall.

The screams of people and the smoke from the explosion.

- Run! It's a demon!

- An attack! It's a terror attack! Where's the Defense Team!

Lee Ho-yeon, who had been focusing on her words, also had his attention drawn to the surroundings.

"I-It's a terror attack. Professor!"

The exhibition hall had descended into chaos in a mere instant.

The pleasant atmosphere from just a moment ago felt like a dream.

Watching that scene, something snapped- inside Im Sol.

She drew up her magic power.

Suddenly, this entire situation was annoying.

She didn't like that her time with her student was interrupted, nor did she like that such lowly vermin were running rampant right before her eyes.

"...Annoying."

It was only after finishing the entire situation that Im Sol regained her reason.

Since she had eliminated all the causes that ruined her mood, she intended to speak to her student again.

To ask him to stay with her in the afternoon as well.

But that was merely Im Sol's own thought.

After experiencing something like this, Im Sol was the only one who remembered what they were just talking about.

The eyes of the people looking up at Im Sol from the ground were filled with fear.

Her student, Lee Ho-yeon, was the same.

Im Sol slightly closed her eyes as she stepped onto the ground.

And she spoke to her student.

"Did you see everything?"

"...Yes."

"...Did you hear everything, by any chance?"

The words she had said when she lost her reason.

What just happened was a little blurry so she couldn't remember exactly, but there were probably quite a few low-class curses mixed in.

"Uh... yes."

Im Sol felt a sense of distance from Lee Ho-yeon's words, even if it was just a little.

People who saw her full power usually reacted like that.

"Professor. Um, you were cool. Really."

Im Sol smiled slightly at Lee Ho-yeon's words. But she could feel it.

Her student, Lee Ho-yeon.

His acting skills are incredible.

You can feel it when you talk to him.

Even though Lee Ho-yeon hid many things from her, he hardly ever let it show. It was truly a level of acting that didn't match his age.

He had conversed comfortably with her up until now, showing no repulsion compared to other people.

She didn't want to say all of this was acting.

Because that would make Im Sol too miserable.

But some of it must have been.

There must have definitely been times when he catered to her even when he didn't want to.

That was the case just now.

Im Sol definitely checked his expression after she used her magic.

An expression looking at a creature that felt like it shouldn't exist in this world.

When humans see something they cannot understand with their own experience and wisdom, they inevitably feel an instinctive repulsion.

And Im Sol had always received that kind of repulsion.

'In the end, the reason he gets involved with me is my body, or his kind personality that can't say no.'

Because her student who was so good at acting was too nice for his own good.

"Are you feeling pressured by me, by any chance?"

"No, no. I was just taken aback."

Im Sol felt slightly... depressed.

She thought she had shaken off these feelings a long time ago.

No, she definitely had.

Why was she feeling sad about Lee Ho-yeon reacting like that?

Because Im Sol couldn't figure out the reason, she complained for no reason.

"It's okay. You can call me a monster. I'm used to it."

"Professor. Don't say things like that. How could you be a monster?"

Haa.

Even so, her student treated her kindly until the end.

She was so thankful that she even wanted to lean on him, but she endured that feeling.

Everyone she had met up until now hated her true nature.

But of all things.

The only student she thought she connected with would like even her true nature?

Thinking like that was nothing but wishful thinking.

"Still, I didn't want to show it to you of all people."

"...Professor?"

Im Sol let out a deep sigh and offered a self-deprecating smile.

"I keep my walls up, you see. A wall that protects my pride and allows me to ignore what other people say. This is what happens when that wall disappears. What you just saw was my true nature."

Even with this, wouldn't he leave?

"I know it too. That it's ugly, and it's evidence that I'm a social misfit. A monster who can't even bow her head, who knows nothing but magic. That evaluation isn't wrong."

Even with this, would he like me?

"..."

"That's why I didn't want to show it to you."

Her trauma, which she had never spoken to anyone about for 28 years.

She had confessed that to Lee Ho-yeon today.

Why it had resulted in this, Im Sol herself didn't know.

Getting swept up in the atmosphere. Or perhaps because now was the only chance she had to speak.

Or perhaps.

Maybe it really would be okay.

Wouldn't at least one person understand me?

Harboring that small sliver of expectation.

"...Haa, Professor."

Im Sol closed her mouth and waited for Lee Ho-yeon's next words.

Even though she decided not to expect anything.

Even though she definitely decided not to lean on others.

She resented herself for feeling these emotions.

"Professor. Don't have such strange thoughts. At least I absolutely do not think that way."

"...Then what do you think?"

"Excuse me?"

"Me. What do you think of me. The social misfit and monster mage Im Sol... What do you think of her?"

As soon as she spat those words out, Im Sol regretted it.

It was a stupid thing to do.

She was too impatient.

How flustered must he be from a student's perspective.

They were having fun enjoying the Magic Expo when a terror attack occurred, and some crazy bitch single-handedly stopped the attack only to suddenly have a seizure.

If she could, she wanted to turn back time.

She shouldn't have done this from the very beginning.

It would have been best to just quietly move past it.

Im Sol looked at Lee Ho-yeon. Lee Ho-yeon, who had been hesitating, carefully spat out his words.

"You're just my professor."

"...Yeah. Thank you."

Offering a faint smile, Im Sol turned her head away.

It really is over now.

A terribly cliché answer returned from Lee Ho-yeon.

Hearing the answer, Im Sol had no choice but to smile bitterly.

Telling someone who wants a compliment, "You're nice," rather gives them a sense of humiliation.

He must feel suffocated. By someone like her who just couldn't communicate.

Because it meant there was nothing else to praise her for.

Where would you find someone who would continue to follow such a pathetic person around, calling her their professor?

'In the end, my student was the same.'

No, to be precise, her student was 'normal'.

Because he was different from her, who was 'abnormal', he was 'normal'.

Im Sol would rather Lee Ho-yeon just leave quickly.

She was thankful yet deeply resentful of her student who showed consideration for her until the very end.

"...To me, you are ultimately just a person named Im Sol."

Im Sol turned her head slightly.

Lee Ho-yeon's eyes were devoid of tension or wariness, as if he had laid everything bare.

Embracing that nearly vanished sense of expectation, Im Sol began to listen to her student's words.

"Someone who pretends to be an adult even though there isn't much of an age difference between us."

"...?"

Im Sol furrowed her brow.

It was because she couldn't understand her student suddenly spitting out strange words.

"Yet you like sweet things like a child. A strange professor who thinks she's the most special in the world, ignores all the other mages, and even dumps important work onto a cadet."

"What are you saying..."

A sense of displeasure rushed over Im Sol.

She strongly despised her student who had been pretending to be close to her while thinking of her like that all along.

Was it all an act?

Was it truly a relationship where only she felt comfortable?

Im Sol, who was about to get angry, had no choice but to shut her mouth at his following words.

"But I find that side of you cute."

"...W-What?"

And her eyes widened.

Panic filled the spot on her face where the displeasure had vanished.

"The way you smile brightly after eating chocolate, the way you rejoice after finishing your magic research, the way you whine about not understanding other people yet are more sincere than anyone else when you're actually teaching a magic class. It's all cute."

"What are you talking about. You, you're really...!"

Im Sol couldn't hide her panic.

She was extremely unaccustomed to her student suddenly saying such strange things.

"A person who holds the pride of being the most capable mage in the world yet feels the pressure of it. A weak person who self-deprecates herself as a monster yet wishes for someone to embrace her. I like that Professor Im Sol."

"S-Stop it. Please..."

What if someone heard him?

She tried to cover her student's mouth with her hand, but her hand wouldn't move as she willed.

"Pfft, chuckle... haha."

Im Sol tried to get angry, deeply resenting Lee Ho-yeon for saying all that only to burst into laughter all by himself.

"You, you. Do you really want to get scolded? There's a limit to jokes. This isn't a joke, it's just unpleasant, and, um... ugh..."

But strangely, she wasn't even angry.

What she felt in this moment was embarrassment, her heated face, and her racing heart.

Lee Ho-yeon even tightly grasped Im Sol's floundering hand.

"Professor, what I want to say is."

Spin, spin.

It felt like the world was spinning.

The hand Lee Ho-yeon was holding was so hot she felt like she would get burned.

"Don't push yourself too hard. I don't care how many strange things you do, Professor. Because that's Im Sol, too."

"I, I..."

Thump, thump.

The words circling inside of her mouth wouldn't properly piece together.

It felt like she was suffocating, and her chest felt ticklish.

She definitely wanted to say something, but she couldn't open her mouth.

She felt so frustrated she could cry.

She wanted to speak.

But her heart was stopping her from speaking.

Watching Im Sol's lips twitching, Lee Ho-yeon smiled slightly.

"You don't always have to be the best. Just because people call you a monster, you don't have to grind your teeth, research magic, and strive to show them what a real monster is. You should hang out sometimes and get some rest, too. So what if you're a social misfit? If I were in a group filled only with people lacking compared to me, I would abandon them too."

Hearing Lee Ho-yeon speak with a sheepish smile, Im Sol thought to herself.

That her student didn't know anything.

The things she had been subjected to.

The things she had thought about.

The human known as Lee Ho-yeon knew nothing.

A person who has lived comfortably can never understand the life of someone who has lived through hardships.

That's why he could cheer her on, why he could tell her to cheer up because things would work out someday.

It was a selfish act, thinking only of oneself without considering any of the broken emotions the other person had accumulated up until now.

Im Sol detested people like that.

And yet... she didn't want to blame Lee Ho-yeon.

Im Sol simply opened her mouth and spoke whatever came to mind.

"M-Magic is all I have... It's the only thing I've known my entire life."

Hearing Im Sol's answer, Lee Ho-yeon let out a sigh of relief internally.

Still, things were flowing just as he thought.

Persuading a woman who had known nothing but magic her entire life was difficult, but they had shared that many emotions with each other.

It was a short amount of time, but he was the only person who understood Im Sol.

Her accumulated favorability proved that.

He could certainly persuade her this much.

"You have me."

"..."

"I'll help you. So you can do everything you want to do."

Hearing Lee Ho-yeon's words, Im Sol closed her mouth.

She stared at the empty air as if agonizing over something, then looked at Lee Ho-yeon again, before staring back at the empty air.

Lee Ho-yeon tilted his head at that sight, but Im Sol was trying her best to suppress her body's trembling.

Thump, thump.

'W-What. Why am I being like this.'

She couldn't hold back the thumping in her chest.

She had to reply to those words, but no words came to mind to answer with.

Im Sol was reminded of a conversation she had with Baek A-yeong in the past.

'A-yeong-a. When your heart races every time you're with someone, and your chest aches when you think of negative things with that person, that's love.'

It was what she had replied while teasing Baek A-yeong, who said her heart raced every time she thought of him and ached whenever she thought of negative things.

Right now was exactly that situation.

When she looked at Lee Ho-yeon, her heart raced, and when she thought of answering Lee Ho-yeon's words, she became incredibly nervous.

It felt like her brain was desperately holding on, determined never to give a negative answer.

'Wait a second, this isn't it. This isn't right. Seriously.'

Im Sol wanted to protect her final maginot line.

She was a professor, and Lee Ho-yeon was a cadet.

Baek A-yeong could insist she was just the school nurse, but Im Sol was a genuine professor.

She had dedicated herself to teaching for years, and she was a professor who held a certain degree of pride as her internal evaluations were always a perfect score.

Im Sol was also aware that her distance with Lee Ho-yeon was gradually closing.

Because of that, she purposefully started calling him 'my student' to create some distance.

Because calling him by his name felt like they were getting too close mentally.

It was the upper limit Im Sol had set.

Because if they got any closer, they wouldn't be a teacher and student, but something more than that.

In the end, after continuing the battle within her own mind, the words Im Sol finally spat out were an incredibly stupid-sounding answer.

"I, I'm a professor. And you're a cadet."

'I'm doomed.'

Im Sol tightly shut her eyes.

She ended up giving an answer that had absolutely nothing to do with the flow of the conversation.

How stupid must he think of me.

Meanwhile, Lee Ho-yeon, who was looking at that Im Sol, laughed it off as if it was absurd.

Here she goes again.

So what if she's a professor.

There was no law saying a professor couldn't have a hard time, and there was no law saying a cadet was always beneath a professor.

'Especially when there isn't even much of an age gap between us.'

Anyone watching would think she was a really old person.

Lee Ho-yeon smiled at Im Sol's strange words and answered.

"Anyway, don't say things like that again. Got it, Professor? No, Sol Nuna."

Just like he always did.

He used the playful and affectionate nickname, Sol Nuna, which they used whenever they teased each other or when they were thankful.

And hearing those words, Im Sol's eyes widened.

Pop-

Something inside of her burst.