I Should Have Just Died

Chapter 124

“……..Thank you.”

Alyssa murmured slowly. The words that Sid would stay with her were warmer than a brazier. No one would notice her absence since she left the door locked anyway.

‘How do I get in tomorrow morning…?’

Again, again…

Alyssa beat herself up. From the time she came out of the window anyway, when she walked around the garden in her slippers like this, her deviance had already begun. Such trivial worries can be forgotten for now.

Alyssa shook her head slightly.

Seidrick glanced at Alyssa sitting at her table, then spread a thick blanket around the fire. No matter how much he owed Gilbert and Mona, he had no intention of borrowing the couple’s bedroom.

“Oh, I’ll help too!”

“….Lisa. As I’ve been telling you, staying still is helping.”

Alyssa curled her back and sat down sullenly.

He was right. Alyssa was a princess, and she had never dressed with her own hands. In particular, Sasha, who took care of her, did not let her do anything independently. Alyssa was terrible at this because she was taken care of with extreme care.

“…wherever I go, there is nothing I can do.”

“It’s because someone loves you. Someone must have loved you so that Lisa didn’t have to do this.”

Alyssa paused.

That is also correct. Sasha was simply Alyssa’s world and did everything for herself. Alyssa wasn’t the only one being slapped by the queen. Sasha had also been hit in the face countless times for serving her. At that time, Sasha went to the kitchen with her cheeks swollen and begged for something for Alyssa to eat. To save Alyssa, who is on the brink of death due to the fever, she begged long enough below the queen’s feet.

She was only five years older than Alyssa. When she was young, she was Alyssa’s pillar and support.

‘That’s why she can’t.’

She didn’t want to be a burden on Sasha anymore. Throughout her generosity of giving Alyssa unconditional love, she couldn’t let Sasha dry up her tears. She doesn’t want Sasha to do more emotional labor because of her.

Even if she thought so, Sasha’s undying love for Alyssa was not a past to be forgotten. Alyssa smiled faintly and nodded her head.

“Yes. That’s right. I have someone who takes care of me like a sister.”

“Then Lisa must do her best for that person.”

“Yes.”

So, she had never been able to die.

She wondered if she came to think that she would rather die. Although it was too late for it to take shape, she lived with death in mind throughout her life. Still, Sasha’s tears looking at Alyssa were not forgotten, so she did nothing.

She relied on Sasha’s words that it would be okay someday if she just endured.

That’s why now.

She still couldn’t live.

“Then let’s talk about Sid. What kind of person Sid is.”

“I am a really boring person.”

Alyssa laughed a little. He said that with a severe face, but he looked cute for some reason. Maybe it’s because she put Sid in her heart secretly.

“I am good at lying and deceive people when necessary.”

“Well. You are a bad person.”

Seidrick, who had been preparing for bed while wandering through the hut, nodded his head.

“Yes. I guess I am a bad person.”

“How did Sid become friends with Gilbert?”

“He had a close relationship with my father.”

This was the only truth. The previous Duke of Cambridge was about the same age as Gilbert. Is it thanks to that? The two boys, who grew up playing together in the garden, were entirely reliant on each other. Gilbert took the place of the collapsed Duchess when the predecessor Duke died at a young age, and he then took care of the children.

Gilbert, dressed in black mourning clothes, took in Seidrick, Ophelia, and Kendrick and fed them. He roamed the gardens with the droopy children without ever loosening. Through the garden, they learned the process of life reviving and dying again.

The children accepted their father’s death in the garden.

Perhaps it would not be an exaggeration to say that the garden and Gilbert raised the children of Cambridge. That’s why Seidrick was always so grateful to Gilbert. To the children of Cambridge, Gilbert was another father.

Therefore, when he asked for something ridiculous or in trouble, Gilbert was the first to come running.

Gilbert and Mona took care of this mansion when Kendrick died.

Seidrick picked his words.

“My father passed away early. He couldn’t fight the epidemic. Because of the transfer to others, my family did not see my father for six months until he passed away.”

“…..”

Alyssa stared blankly at Sid.

He continues the story with blunt words, but she wondered how much the heart of a young boy at that time was broken…