I Sell Gacha Jars in One Piece

Kizaru's expression of total bewilderment was a genuinely beautiful thing, and Amon savored every second of it while keeping his own face arranged into something appropriately solemn.

"Ahem. Of course it's a sacred text. If it reads like a rice cooker manual to you, that simply means you haven't yet grasped its deeper essence." He folded his hands. "Which is perfectly normal, I should add. Not everyone who encounters one of my treasures has the insight to perceive what's truly written there. You'll recall the Principles of Light I gave you last time. Even I couldn't immediately see past the surface."

Every word of this was complete nonsense, delivered with the full conviction of a man who had made a career of it.

"Is that so?" Kizaru turned the manual over in his hands, studying it with renewed uncertainty.

"Think about it honestly. Do you really believe I could fool someone with your level of intelligence?"

"...No, I suppose not." Kizaru's confidence in his own intellect was, if nothing else, reliable. He reconsidered the booklet with fresh eyes. Perhaps his insight simply wasn't quite there yet. These things did take time and devotion of the spirit.

"Exactly," Amon said.. "Take it back with you and sit with it quietly. Let the meaning reveal itself on its own terms. In the meantime, let's move on to the second item."

He produced the pill and held it up between two fingers.

"And what marvel is this?" Kizaru asked, his curiosity refreshed.

"A genuine treasure. Eat this, and within one month, your strength will have grown by one tenth."

Kizaru went very still.

"One tenth."

At his level of power, any meaningful growth was something that came at enormous cost, carved out over years of effort and refinement. The idea that a single pill could move the needle by a full tenth was not the kind of claim a person processed casually.

"One tenth," Amon confirmed, with a single nod.

"There is a side effect I should mention, however." He kept his voice level, because this part genuinely warranted honesty. "Once you take it, you'll laugh uncontrollably for the entire month. And during that same month, you cannot take even half a walking step. Not one. If you do, everything falls apart at the worst possible moment."

"I can't walk. And I'll be laughing. For a month."

"Correct. Though hopping remains available to you."

Kizaru was quiet for a moment.

"Consider the return," Amon continued, warming to it. "One month of unconventional locomotion in exchange for a one-tenth increase in total power. By any reasonable measure, that's an extraordinary trade."

"...Let me think on it."

"Of course. Take your time." Amon handed it over. "Just remember, if you do decide to take it, no walking."

The whole arrangement reminded him of a joke he'd heard once. Two men climbing a mountain, and one gets bitten by a Five-Step Viper, a snake so lethal that death follows within five steps of its bite. His companion, struck by a sudden flash of lateral thinking, catches the snake and has it bite the victim again every four steps, resetting the countdown indefinitely all the way down to the hospital. Technically sound, completely unhinged, and the pill operated on exactly the same logic. The system's sense of design was a constant source of private entertainment.

"Right then. Jars opened, business concluded." Amon looked around the group. "You're all free to go." He paused. "Oh, actually. Before you do. What brought the two of you to Alabasta in the first place?"

Vivi was his student, and knowing what the Navy was doing in her kingdom seemed like a reasonable thing.

"We're here to escort King Cobra to the World Conference," Kizaru said without any hesitation. "The Reverie. Once a decade."

"Ah." Amon nodded. That made sense, and the timing lined up with what he already knew. As long as the situation with the ancient weapon stayed buried, there was nothing to worry about. "That's all I needed. Safe travels, then. And remember what I said about the pill."

"I heard you." Kizaru tucked both items away. He was already thinking about taking it in seclusion. A month of hopping and laughing was considerably less mortifying when no one was watching.

With that, the gathering came to its natural end. Amon signaled to Lily and they set off, leaving the crater and the desert behind.

...

The Alabasta chapter was winding down. He made one final trip back to the Royal City to deliver the good news to Vivi in person, then turned toward his ship. On the way back, he noticed something that made him pause. Several of the Kung Fu Dugongs he had been training had begun to show the earliest stirrings of genuine Haki awakening within them. The radio calisthenics routine, it seemed, was not a thing to be underestimated.

He said his farewells to the Dugongs and boarded the ship. His next destination was already taking shape in his mind. Drum Island, cold and snow-blanketed, where a certain small reindeer doctor was waiting somewhere in the mountains.

...

Two days later, Crocodarny formally dissolved Baroque Works and put out to sea, stepping back into the open world on her own terms for the first time.

When Amon and Lily finally stepped back aboard, they found it had acquired a passenger.

Robin was sitting on deck as though she had always been there, and noticeably more radiant than when he had seen her two days prior. The Beauty Elixir had continued working quietly in the background, and the results showed. Her complexion had settled into luminous and clear, her bearing carrying an ease that hadn't been there before.

She looked up at him as he came aboard, covered her smile with her fingertips, and spoke before he could form a question.

"Baroque Works has been dissolved. Which leaves me without an organization, a ship, or anywhere in particular to be." The smile stayed. "So I've decided to make your ship my problem to solve."

Robin, boarding house ship. Voluntarily. He had not seen this coming.

"Ahem. I'm not sure that arrangement works. I'm rather set in my habit of traveling alone."

It wasn't that he had any real objection to her presence, specifically. There was simply something about the situation that hadn't yet found a neat slot to sit in.

"Rejection noted and overruled," Robin said pleasantly. "You're the reason I'm homeless, in a roundabout way. That carries a certain responsibility." She tilted her head. "I can also be useful. Cooking, upkeep, whatever the ship needs. You can't reasonably expect this sweet girl to manage everything herself, can you?"

She reached over and patted Lily on the head.

She had made this decision the moment Crocodarny announced the dissolution. She had simply waited before presenting it as anything other than inevitable.

Amon looked at her.

Looked at Lily, who offered no objection.

"...Fine."