Chapter 220: Worth less than a Son

Han Shuying knew her father had come before the servants announced him. There was something unmistakable about the way the atmosphere changed whenever General Han Zheng entered a residence.

As though the walls themselves remembered the weight of his authority and the servants instinctively became quieter in his presence.

She was seated beside the window of her study, counting down seconds until her door would open. She was on the tenth second when the doors were pushed aside.

General Han Zheng walked in without waiting for permission. The maid behind him bowed hastily before retreating and closing the doors.

Han Shuying did not bother to stand up. She merely lifted her eyes to look at him in encouragement. "Father."

Han Zheng stopped several paces away. His expression was colder than usual. "You have been difficult to find."

"I have been busy," she replied in a cold tone.

"Busy doing what?" Han Zheng stared at her with pure undiluted rage. "Going around and causing trouble for me?"

For several moments, neither spoke. Then he walked toward her with malice radiating from his body. "You have always been disappointing, but this is a new low for you."

The words were delivered so calmly that they almost sounded rehearsed.

Han Shuying’s fingers tightened slightly around the edge of her robe. Han Zheng noticed.

"There." He smiled faintly. "At least you still have enough shame to feel something."

Han Shuying looked at him without answering.

"I spent years wondering what I had done wrong," he continued. "I had power, influence, soldiers, wealth. I thought perhaps I had simply been unfortunate enough to have a daughter who lacked ambition."

He stopped in front of her. "But now I understand."

Han Shuying’s expression remained composed. "You think I’m useless."

"I don’t think it." His eyes moved over her face. "I know it."

The words struck harder than she wanted them to. She had heard versions of them throughout her childhood.

Too soft.

Too stubborn.

Too emotional.

Not obedient enough.

Not ambitious enough.

Not useful enough.

It had always been the same thing with her supposed father. She had spent years pretending that none of them mattered.

But hearing them now, from the man who had once looked at her as though her existence were an inconvenience, still left a familiar ache beneath her ribs.

Han Zheng turned toward the window. "I should have had a son."

Han Shuying made sure not to lower her eyes this time.

"There would have been no need to wonder whether my heir would obey me."

"You wouldn’t have had an heir," Han Shuying replied in a smug voice.

Han Zheng looked back. "What did you say?"

She raised her brows. "You said you should have had a son. But if you had, he might have disappointed you too."

His face darkened.

Han Shuying continued before he could answer. "Perhaps he would have refused to become the man you wanted him to be."

Han Zheng’s expression hardened. "You presume far too much for someone who has accomplished so little."

A silence settled between them.

Then Han Zheng stepped closer. "You were born into a family that could have given you everything."

Han Shuying said nothing.

"You had access to the finest teachers. You were raised among generals. You learned military strategy, court etiquette, politics, medicine, and the ways of the palace. I gave you opportunities that other women would have killed for."

"And what did you want in return?"

Han Zheng’s eyes narrowed. "Obedience. Not going around plotting on the throne with my enemy. Did you think I wouldn’t find out you were conniving with Qingyue?"

"Is that why you’re here? Or you just want to ramble about how much you never wanted a daughter."

Han Zheng scoffed. "All I wanted was an heir."

"And when you discovered I was a girl?"

"I adapted."

"No," Han Shuying said softly, though her voice was void of any emotion. "You tolerated me."

His expression became dangerously still.

Han Shuying knew she should stop. But she didn’t.

"You taught me to hold a sword because you wanted the son you never had. You made me dress like a soldier because you were ashamed that your child was a daughter. You taught me military formations so you could pretend you had raised the son you wanted."

Han Zheng’s jaw tightened.

"And despite all of that," Han Shuying continued, "you still think I owe you obedience...loyalty?"

"I gave you your life."

She rolled her eyes, "and you never let me forget it."

The silence that followed was suffocating.

Han Zheng’s voice became quieter. "You have become arrogant."

"I learned from the best."

His hand struck the table beside her hard enough to make the inkstone jump. "You think this is amusing? What happened to the princesses was not enough to teach you that no one is above punishment?"

"No." Han Shuying stood slowly. "I think you are angry because you have finally realized that I am no longer afraid of disappointing you."

For the first time, something flickered across Han Zheng’s face. Not anger. Something closer to uncertainty. He studied her. "You seem more eager to gain one over me. But do you know what happens to women who involve themselves in affairs beyond their station?"

Han Shuying met his eyes. "They become dangerous."

"They become dead." Han Zheng stared at her. "You have no idea what you are playing with."

Han Shrugged. "I know exactly what I’m playing with. There’s no need to feel threatened if you think otherwise."

"You think Qingyue will protect you?"

Han Shuying’s expression hardened. "This isn’t about Qingyue. Don’t come in here acting like you have it all figured out."

"Then who is it about?"

Han Shuying remained silent.

General Han Zheng studied her face and seemed to realize that whatever answer he wanted would not come. His disappointment turned into contempt.

"You really are useless." The words were quieter this time. Almost casual. "You cannot even tell what you want. You have no ambition."

Han Shuying’s eyes flickered. "I know what I don’t want."

"And what is that?"

"I don’t want to become you."

Han Zheng went completely still. For several seconds, he simply stared at her. Then his expression became empty. "You should have been a son."

Han Shuying felt something inside her crack.

Not loudly.

Not dramatically.

Just enough for the old wound to open.

General Han Zheng turned toward the door. "Perhaps then I would have had someone worth being proud of. Mind what you’re doing. I’ll only let this slide once."