Chapter 172: Ours to Keep

Ru Yi found herself burying her face into Qingyue’s neck before she could think it through. Another part of her was sure Qingyue would push her away, which made her whimper when Qingyue’s arms closed tightly around her.

"Ru Yi..." Qingyue’s voice was a strained mess. It vibrated down Ru Yi’s back and left a pool of warmth in her lower stomach. "I thought I’d never see you again."

Ru Yi was about to pull away when the older woman tightened her arms around her. "Let’s stay like this for a little longer. Don’t I deserve that much?"

Caught off guard by how needy Qingyue sounded, Ru Yi held her tighter, feeling the warmth of her body seep through the layers of clothing between them.

Qingyue closed her eyes and the nightmare she had earlier receded into the back of her mind, completely forgotten.

For the first time since waking up, she could no longer remember the terrifying image clearly enough to frighten herself with it. All she could feel was Ru Yi’s warmth, the steady rhythm of her breathing, and the comforting certainty that she was standing there, alive and safe.

Qingyue finally cleared her throat and stepped away, suddenly feeling her cheeks turn a deep red. Why was she suddenly being so clingy towards Ru Yi? It could only be the ring.

She didn’t even let go of Ru Yi completely.

Ru Yi looked down at their feet. "I’m sorry for being the reason you fought with your sisters," she said quietly. Her voice was filled with guilt. "If I hadn’t come into your lives, none of this would have happened. I should have never allowed myself to become someone that could come between the three of you."

Qingyue stared at her.

"I should have kept my distance from the beginning," Ru Yi continued. "I should have known that the three of you already had each other, and I had no right to interfere with that."

She finally looked up at Qingyue with round brown eyes that were red at the rim. "I promise not to do that again. I won’t come between you and your sisters, Qingyue. Whatever happens, I’ll make sure the three of you remain together.

Qingyue’s expression changed slowly. Why did it sound like Ru Yi was saying goodbye?

There was sadness in her eyes now, but also something almost incredulous. "Is that what you’ve been thinking all this while?"

Ru Yi looked away, she felt too vulnerable. "It’s the truth."

"No, it’s not." Qingyue caught her chin and made her look at her. "You’ve misunderstood everything."

Ru Yi frowned.

Qingyue slowly raised both hands and held Ru Yi’s face between her palms, her touch careful and gentle as she studied the woman standing in front of her.

"You don’t have to worry about coming between us," Qingyue said.

It made Ru Yi’s eyes soften. "Why?"

"Because you’ve belonged to us from the very beginning," Qingyue answered. Her thumbs brushed lightly against Ru Yi’s cheeks. "When you first appeared I hated it, you were this lowly maid that chased after the crown prince relentlessly."

Ru Yi flinched and tried to pull away but Qingyue kept her in her grasp.

"Then Yexue kidnapped you and we were all forced to deal with your presence. She pretended not to care about you while watching you all the time. Lieyin would argue with you and still spend the entire evening wondering what you were thinking."

Qingyue gave a deep sigh. "Even Han Shuying, who seemed determined to drag you back to the capital, somehow ended up following you around."

"Qingyue—"

"You must’ve made her an irresistible offer for her to come with you." Qingyue felt Ru Yi stiffen. "I’m not going to ask you what it is."

Ru Yi was confused. "Why?" She watched Qingyue’s throat bob as she swallowed hard.

"Because...some things are better left unknown."

"And what if it’s something that can hurt you?" Ru Yi asked softly, guilt slipping into her gaze. "Wouldn’t you want to know?" What if I was betraying you...your trust?

"The moment I came to terms with my feelings for you was the same moment I accepted the fact that you could hurt me beyond what I can bear." She gave Ru Yi a sad smile. "The people that make us happy will inevitably make us sad. That’s just the way life is."

"Qingyue—" It was Ru Yi’s turn to touch her face like it was a rare gem. "I would never hurt you intentionally."

"I know." Qingyue sighed. "You always put everyone’s safety before your own. You worry about people who barely deserve it, and even when you’re frightened you still find a way to stand between danger and everyone else."

Ru Yi lowered her gaze again. She couldn’t bear to meet the sincerity that was shining through Qingyue’s eyes. "I don’t think that’s a good thing."

"It isn’t always," Qingyue answered, her voice softening. "But I’ve come to understand that it’s part of your charm. You wouldn’t hurt me for the fun of it, that’s just the way you are."

Ru Yi took her hands, they were cold. "And what if I actually hurt you? Would you hate me for it?"

With a slight shake of her head, Qingyue answered. "I would rather find it an honor, to have loved you so much that it made my heart bleed."

What could Ru Yi even say to that?

"Should I consider this a love confession?" she asked instead. "What of Yexue? I don’t want you to fight because of me."

Qingyue lowered her hands from Ru Yi’s face. "We already talked about it, and she’s okay with us all being together. Like I said before, you belong to all three of us."

Ru Yi blinked severally. "I do?"

Qingyue continued, "you should sit down and have a proper conversation with her. Yexue might seem easygoing on the outside, but her emotions run deeper than you think. All I ask is for you to be more gentle with her."

"You three are really impossible," Ru Yi muttered.

Qingyue smiled.

Whatever her nightmare had meant, whatever darkness she had seen surrounding Ru Yi all meant nothing now. The woman in front of her at that moment was what mattered to her.

"I know it’s a little late to ask, but stay with us and—"

Ru Yi pulled her close, cutting off her sentence. "Just shut up and kiss me."