I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

An Lin and Xue Zhantian returned to the Heavenly Court, the environment in which they were most familiar with.

As per the saying, absence made the heart grow fonder. After a period of time apart, all An Lin wanted to do was to get to see Xu Xiaolan as soon as possible.

“I’m back, Xiaolan!”

That night, An Lin arrived back and knocked on Xiaolan’s dorm room door.

The door opened, and an exquisitely beautiful woman with a pair of bright eyes appeared before him.

“An Lin, you’re finally back.” An elated smile appeared on her face.

“Did you miss me?” An Lin walked into the dorm room and gave Xu Xiaolan a massive hug with an equally massive grin on his face.

An Lin sniffed her familiar scent and held onto her warm, soft body, and a sense of satisfaction welled up in his heart.

“Stop! Little Tian is still there!” Xu Xiaolan blushed when she discovered Xue Zhantian staring at them with a pair of unblinking, wide eyes.

“Xiaolan, you can treat me as an inanimate ball or even just empty air,” Xue Zhantian said in an indifferent voice. “In reality, we are from different species, so I don’t actually feel anything when I look at you interacting in this way with one another.”

Xu Xiaolan still seemed a little reserved with Xue Zhantian around, so An Lin immediately kicked him out the door.

“Master, what you are doing is the epitome of heartlessness and betrayal! You hugged me every day and called me Little Tiantian, but now you kicked me aside like a rubber ball…” Little Tian vented his negative emotions outside the door.

An Lin couldn’t be bothered to listen to Xue Zhantian, and he turned his eyes on the beautiful woman before him.

Xu Xiaolan was also staring at him with a hint of scorching emotion swimming in her eyes.

Their lips met, and it felt like a mesmerizing jolt of electricity ran through both of their bodies. It was as if they were tasting the most delicious alcoholic beverage in the world and both of them were intoxicated with one another.

An Lin was almost moved to the point of tears. This is a normal f*cking kiss!

That memory of kissing a hot brand-like object can piss off from my mind!

After making out for a short while, they sat down at the table and began conversing with one another.

An Lin first told her about his experiences at the Southern Heavenly Wing Nation. Of course, he glossed over the parts about the Vermilion Bird Princess and Yi Li. Firstly, it was too embarrassing a story to tell, and secondly, Xiaolan might punish him by making him kneel on the Lava Jackfruit if he were to tell that story.

Xu Xiaolan’s eyes lit up when she heard about the reverse murder and robbery spree An Lin had gone on in the Southern Heavenly Wing Nation. She also felt like it was extremely plausible to act weak and vulnerable to attract robbers before hunting them down.

“The public security at the Southern Heavenly Wing Nation is much better now, but we should be able to go for another spree in a few years,” Xu Xiaolan suggested.

An Lin nodded to express his agreement. “Are there other areas of our continent that have a similar culture of crime like the one in the Southern Heavenly Wing Nation?”

“Hmm…” Xu Xiaolan considered the question for a moment before replying, “I won’t list off any of the small powers as they would just be a waste of our time. As for first-rate powers, crime is pretty rampant in the Void Spirit Tribe and the West Sea as well.”

An Lin’s head throbbed upon hearing this. “The members of the Void Spirit Tribe are a bunch of nutjobs. People get attacked and killed for no reason, and there are a bunch of mentally unstable mighty figures there, so it’s way too dangerous. As for the West Sea, that’s too far away…”

The two of them considered this notion for a while before postponing this plan for now.

“Xiaolan, tell me about your exploits as the replacement of Chef God!”

An Lin looked at Xu Xiaolan with anticipation in his eyes.

A smug smile appeared on Xu Xiaolan’s face at the mention of her Chef God escapade. “Guess how many spirit stones I earned in the past thirty days?”

An Lin thought to himself for a moment. The price of the dishes had already fallen to an average of over two hundred thousand spirit stones per dish before he left. Popularity was constantly on the wane as well simply because it wasn’t as new and exciting anymore, so even at an optimistic estimate, the prices would perhaps average about two hundred thousand spirit stones per dish now.

Xu Xiaolan’s cooking skills were about the same as his, and even without having beaten Chef God Hu Jiahao, she had his backing, so there was a chance that the prices had stabilized at two hundred thousand spirit stones per dish.

An Lin didn’t dare to make too high of a guess and pile too much pressure on Xiaolan, so he gave a conservative estimate.

“Four million spirit stones?”

Four million spirit stones a month should have been achievable.

“No no no…” Xu Xiaolan shook her head and extended two fingers.

An Lin drew a sharp intake of breath. “Only two million spirit stones?”

If that was the case, then he might as well have sold stuffed buns ignored by Da Bai. That would result in an income of a hundred thousand spirit stones per day, which would equate to a monthly income of three million spirit stones.

Xu Xiaolan burst into laughter as she pouted at An Lin. “Am I really that incapable in your mind? I meant twice the price you had guessed!”

“Twice?” An Lin’s eyes widened in shock. “Eight million spirit stones?”

“M-hm.” Xu Xiaolan nodded triumphantly.

An Lin took a deep breath. “That… That’s even more than what I earned. How did you do it?”

From An Lin’s prior estimates, even if he were to personally cook, there would only be earnings of around six million spirit stones per month. Xu Xiaolan was a chef who hadn’t even established herself yet, so how did she earn a staggering eight million spirit stones in a month?

Xu Xiaolan felt even more triumphant upon seeing An Lin’s incredulous expression. “When I first took over from you, it really wasn’t that great. The auction had started at a hundred thousand spirit stones, and the final bid was only a hundred and thirty thousand spirit stones.

“However, after an immortal tasted my dish, they were extremely shocked by how delicious it was and stated that it was not inferior to your cooking.

“The next day, the immortal that won the auctioned dish even went as far as to compliment that my dish was even better than yours and was most definitely worth the price.”

An Lin’s lips twitched slightly upon hearing this. Pill refinement and cooking went hand in hand with one another. Xu Xiaolan’s pill refinement skills were not inferior to An Lin’s, and she was more diligent and paid more attention to detail in her cooking, so there really was a chance that her cooking could taste better than his, but it definitely wouldn’t be a significant difference.

“After that, the prices of my cooking steadily rose, as did my reputation. I then decided to use the endorsements I received from the immortals to promote myself, saying that my cooking skills are superior to yours and that you had even admitted this yourself.

“This news created a massive stir in the Heavenly Court, and my popularity spiked even further, attracting the attention of many tycoon immortals, so my auction prices elevated to become even higher than yours.”

An Lin’s lips twitched again upon hearing. She had used him as a f*cking stepping stone!

Xu Xiaolan continued, “And then, the incumbent Chef God of the Heavenly Court finally sprang into action. He had lost to you and was placed second in the Heavenly Court, but now that I had proclaimed that I was superior to you, he would be ranked number three! He found this to be unacceptable, so he issued me a challenge!”

An Lin: “…”

“So you accepted the challenge and beat him?” An Lin was completely shocked at the development this story had taken.

Xu Xiaolan nodded happily. “That’s right! I beat him, and my popularity soared again, as did the prices of the auctioned dishes! Even though the prices tapered off a bit in the last few days, I still managed to earn eight million spirit stones this month!”

“Xiaolan, you are absolutely amazing!” An Lin didn’t even know how to express his emotions anymore, so he gave Xu Xiaolan another huge hug.

This was a huge surprise. She had completed her money-making mission well beyond expectations!

“I feel like you also need to thank Chef God Hu Jiahao. If it weren’t for him perpetually challenging us, then losing to exemplify how bad*ss we were, we wouldn’t be able to earn so much!” Xu Xiaolan made an unintentionally savage remark.

An Lin: “…”

The pitiable yet adorable Chef God Hu Jiahao was the true stepping stone here.

An Lin and Xu Xiaolan had both stepped over him to the top…

“Alright, I’ll make sure to express my gratitude to the Chef God next time!” An Lin nodded with a serious expression.

“Hahaha, wouldn’t he die from rage then?” Xu Xiaolan burst into laughter again.

The two of them felt like the incumbent Chef God was both hilarious and deserving of sympathy. Thus, they continued to converse happily with one another and completely forgot the time.