I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

The next day, An Lin woke up early to source some ingredients.

He selected a fire chicken from the Eastern Spirit Mountain of the university, as well as premium ginger and spring onion from the best spirit plantations; even the condiments were provided by the divine chef of the Heavenly Court!

On top of that, he also sought out a 1982 bottle of Cola.

He was going to make the best cola chicken in the world!

An Lin used his Chaotic Frying Pan with his Great Holy Flame to cook the chicken. His attention remained extremely focused throughout the whole process, as if he was doing something of the utmost importance.

The heavenly scent of the cola chicken finally attracted the three beast pets to the kitchen, and all three of them sidled up to An Lin with desire burning in their eyes, only to be kicked aside by An Lin.

“Get out of here! This is for Xiaolan only!” An Lin snapped.

“Waah… Big Brother An, is Xiaolan more important in your heart than me! Woof!” Da Bai wailed.

“That’s right!” An Lin responded without hesitation.

Da Bai: “…”

“Master, you’re forcing me to go on a fast.” Xiao Hong wore a sad expression, making her appear especially vulnerable and unintentionally seductive.

An Lin didn’t even turn to look at her as he focused his attention wholeheartedly on his cooking. “You can go on a fast if you like, photosynthesis provides sufficient sustenance for you anyway.”

“Big Brother An, I want to reserve the first dish for tomorrow!” Xiao Chou’s eyes glowed brightly as he hurriedly placed a reservation.

“I can consider your request if Xiaolan doesn’t want to eat my cooking tomorrow.” An Lin nodded.

Da Bai’s body trembled as he realized he had lost a fantastic opportunity. However, a thought then suddenly occurred to him as his eyes began to glow brightly. “Big Brother An, Xu Xiaolan is going to discard the bones after she eats the chicken, right? Don’t throw the bones away, save it for me! Woof!”

An Lin: “…”

Thirty minutes later.

An Lin carefully placed the chicken in a large container before making his way out the door.

He was going to give Xu Xiaolan a huge surprise and rectify their relationship!

Knock knock knock…

A woman opened the door to discover a man holding a large lunchbox and a slightly surprised expression appeared on her face.

“Hi, Celestial Maiden Lan Lan, have you eaten yet?”

“I have.”

“…”

An Lin began to sweat profusely. F*ck, he wasn’t prepared for this response…

It wasn’t even lunchtime yet!

What was he going to do with the surprise he had planned? What was he going to do with his cola chicken?!

“Then… would you care to eat some more?” An Lin looked up at Xu Xiaolan with a wretched expression.

Xu Xiaolan blinked as she looked at the lunchbox in An Lin’s hands. “Did you make it yourself?”

“Yes, and don’t worry, it tastes great.” An Lin nodded.

Xu Xiaolan’s expression softened a little and she stepped to the side to let An Lin in. “Come in then.”

“Okey-dokey!”

An Lin was finally allowed to enter Xu Xiaolan’s home again; this a small step for him, but a huge step for mankind!

“Celestial Maiden Lan Lan, I’m not exaggerating, but my cooking skills have improved by leaps and bounds recently. I don’t think there’s anyone in the whole of the Kingdom of the Nine States that can compare with my cooking skills. Even my three proud beast pets hold battle royales every day for a chance to eat my dishes.” An Lin immediately reverted back to his old ways and began to flex as he walked through the door.

Xu Xiaolan’s lips twitched. “So you’re saying your cooking skills are the best in the Kingdom of the Nine States? You dare to boast like that and you still say you’re not exaggerating? If you’re going to be so shameless, then I’m going to ask you to leave right now.”

“Don’t be like that, you’ll see the truth in my words once you taste this. I assure you, you’ll be addicted to my cooking.” An Lin parked his bottom firmly onto a chair with no intention of leaving, and he placed the lunchbox on the table with a wide smile.

Xu Xiaolan laughed scornfully. “Hehe.”

An Lin didn’t get mad at her cold demeanor. Instead, he adopted a serious expression. “You don’t believe me? How about we make a bet?”

Xu Xiaolan’s raised her brows slightly. “What kind of bet?”

“I’m going to bet that once you have one mouthful of my dish, you’re going to devour the entire thing. If you can suppress the urge to do so, then I lose; if you can’t resist the urge, then I win!” An Lin proposed with a serious expression.

Xu Xiaolan’s interest was slightly piqued. “And what are we betting on?”

“If I lose, I can do any one thing that you request of me. If I win, then you have to forgive me for what I did in the free-for-all battle, how about that?” An Lin looked at Xu Xiaolan as he made the offer.

How was it possible that she would lose? It wasn’t as if she was some sort of hopeless food junkie or something. Xu Xiaolan pondered to herself for a quick moment before nodding in agreement. “Alright, let’s do it!”

An Lin placed his hand on the lid of the container. “It’s time to witness a miracle!”

He carefully took the lid off the container, and a dazzling glow suddenly emanated from within.

A sharp cry reverberated throughout the room as the projection of a red phoenix soared into the air from the container.

An Lin and Xu Xiaolan were both completely dumbstruck.

Holy f*ck, what the f*ck was going on?!

The fire chicken was reborn from the ashes as a phoenix?

He didn’t add any special effects, so what the hell was that?!

At the same moment, an extremely alluring scent wafted throughout the entire room. A sumptuous cola chicken dish appeared before their eyes, glistening with an irresistible luster.

An Lin was the first to come to his senses. He suppressed his shock and forced a smile onto his face. “Hehe, the most important thing is the taste, those effects were just a few little tricks.”

Xu Xiaolan recovered her composure and looked at the cola chicken before looking at An Lin, who was looking back at her with a calm expression. She suddenly began to understand why he could flex so confidently; perhaps it wasn’t all just talk.

“Come on, have a taste, I assure you that you won’t be able to stop.”

An Lin placed his hands onto the table with anticipation in his eyes.

Xu Xiaolan nodded and grabbed her chopsticks before picking up a bright, vibrant piece of chicken and placing it in her mouth.

The moment she began chewing, an extremely exquisite flavor burst forth in her mouth. She felt like she was experiencing astral projection as her soul seemed to have left her body, leaving her feeling extremely relaxed and blissful.

Delicious!

That was Xu Xiaolan’s first impression of the dish.

She picked up another piece of chicken as if she couldn’t help herself.

The chicken is delicious!

This was Xu Xiaolan’s second impression of the dish.

Xu Xiaolan was shocked. Her heart trembled in amazement as she ate.

My god! How could there be such delicious food in this world!

A satisfied smile appeared on An Lin’s face as he watched Xu Xiaolan tear through the chicken.

An extremely alluring scent wafted throughout the room. The cola chicken was extremely irresistible; if it wasn’t for the fact that he was begging for forgiveness from Xu Xiaolan, he would’ve probably already dug in himself.

Xu Xiaolan’s table manners were nowhere near as exemplary as they usually were. At this moment, her mouth was covered in oil, and her porcelain-like cheeks were bulging as she turned to look at An Lin with incredulity in her bright eyes. “Did you actually capture a phoenix to cook? How could a cola chicken be so delicious!?”

An Lin rolled his eyes. “Have you seen a phoenix this small before?”

Xu Xiaolan chuckled sheepishly and continued eating.

She then suddenly raised her head to look at An Lin before moving the container of chicken closer to him after a moment of hesitation. “Let’s eat together.”

An Lin was overjoyed to hear this offer. He was fighting to suppress his drool the whole time, but he didn’t expect Xu Xiaolan to be so thoughtful and he immediately picked up his chopsticks.

He then suddenly stopped cold in his tracks. That was close!

“Hah, you almost had me there!” An Lin looked at Xu Xiaolan with a triumphant expression, “The terms of the bet state that you have to eat the entire dish, if I ate some now, that would mean you didn’t eat the entire dish and I would lose the bet! Hahaha… you’re ten thousand years too early to try and swindle me!”

Xu Xiaolan looked at An Lin with a peculiar expression before bursting out in laughter.

“Stop making things so complicated, just eat if I tell you to eat.” A warm smile appeared on her face like rays of the sun melting through ice and snow, instantly filling up An Lin’s heart with warmth.

An Lin blinked hesitantly. “Then about the bet…”

“Are you stupid… I’m obviously telling you to eat because I’ve forgiven you, otherwise, how could I bear to share such a delicious phoenix chicken with you?”

“Ah! Celestial Maiden Lan Lan is the best! And the name you’ve given this dish is fantastic as well. The name phoenix chicken is a hundred times better than cola chicken!”

“Shut up and eat! Otherwise, there’s going to be none left.”

“Alright, I’m digging in then!”

Thus, the two of them reconciled over a chicken and their hostilities were officially a thing of the past…