Novel Full Chapter 85 Too Big to Fail
Chapter 85: Chapter 85 Too Big to Fail
Yuan Bao’s mind raced, picturing a long path of training and self-improvement stretching out before him.
And despite his usual flamboyance and dramatics, a quiet determination settled deep within his chest.
I can do this… I will do this. If I want the woman I love to choose me, I must first become a man worthy of her attention. No matter how hard it is, no matter how long it takes… I will succeed.
He leaned back in his chair, feeling a mix of awe, excitement, and resolve.
The classroom, the chairs, Lin Feng’s words… all of it now felt like the starting line of a journey that would change his life forever.
“Do you understand what I’m saying, Yuan Bao?” Lin Feng asked, his voice calm but probing, as he studied the young man’s expression.
What happened next, however, completely caught him off guard.
“Yes, Teacher Lin Feng! Where have you been all my life?” Yuan Bao suddenly cried out, his face crumpling like wet paper.
The big fatty burst into loud, ugly sobs, his shoulders shaking violently as tears poured down his cheeks.
He hurriedly wiped his face with the wide sleeves of his robe, only succeeding in smearing the tears everywhere and making himself look even more pitiful.
“I… I look like such a crybaby now, Teacher,” he sniffed loudly, his nose red and swollen.
“My future wives are definitely going to laugh at me when they see this…” He paused, then shook his head fiercely, as if rejecting the thought.
“But it doesn’t matter! It really doesn’t matter!”
Lin Feng blinked, unsure how things had escalated so quickly.
“I once read the words of a great Daoist,” Yuan Bao continued, his voice trembling between hiccups.
“A true legend! He had a harem of over a million women, and yet he still found time to cultivate and ascend to the heavens. That Daoist once said that women love it when a man shows his weakness to the ones he loves. He said it’s not shameful at all… no, it’s a sign of true maturity and sincerity!”
Yuan Bao nodded vigorously to himself, as if he had just recited a sacred scripture.
Then, without warning, he broke down again, sobbing even harder than before.
“I’ve been alone for so long, Teacher,” he wailed. “I’ve tried so hard to cultivate, to become stronger, to become worthy, but no one ever looks at me. No one ever chooses me. Even my own reflection in the mirror looks disappointed in me!”
Lin Feng felt a strange mix of amusement and sympathy rise in his chest.
“Take your time, Yuan Bao,” Lin Feng said gently, moving forward and placing a calming hand on the student’s shoulder.
“There’s no rush. I will make sure that you find a Dao companion soon… someone who truly sees you for who you are.”
Yuan Bao froze, his sobs slowly dying down.
He stared at Lin Feng with wide, watery eyes, as if he had just heard a divine decree from the heavens.
“R-really, Teacher?” he asked, his voice trembling with hope.
“You won’t abandon me to a life of single cultivation and cold pillows?”
Lin Feng coughed lightly. “I will not.”
That single sentence struck Yuan Bao harder than any cultivation technique ever could.
He stood suddenly and clasped his hands together and bowed deeply, nearly face-planting onto the classroom floor in the process.
“Teacher! From today onward, my life belongs to you! I will cultivate harder than ever! I will study harder than ever! I will become the kind of man who deserves love, respect, and at least three beautiful Dao companions!” Yuan Bao declared passionately.
Lin Feng watched him in silence for a moment, completely unsure how he had somehow acquired a disciple with such… unique aspirations.
In the end, he simply sighed and shook his head.
He honestly didn’t know what else to say, so he offered what comfort he could.
It was also at that moment while Yuan Bao was still sniffling, bowing, and swearing oaths to the heavens that Lin Feng finally decided to look at Yuan Bao’s character status.
What he saw next made his expression stiffen.
***
Name: Yuan Bao
Cultivation Base: Eighth Stage of the Body Refining Realm
Strengths:
Gluttonous Taotie Physique
Defense so high even spiritual beasts question reality
Body as strong as an ox, appetite to match
The fatter he gets, the more terrifying he becomes
cultivation through calories
Weaknesses:
Terminal-level simp syndrome… will do anything for beautiful women, including bankrupting himself, selling his treasures, and emotionally investing after one smile
***
Lin Feng almost coughed up blood on the spot as he finished reading Yuan Bao’s character status.
He felt a sharp pain in his chest, as if someone had stabbed him with a spiritual spear of despair.
“How… how am I supposed to help this young man get a woman,” Lin Feng screamed internally, “when his main source of strength is literally his fat?! If I make him lose weight, he becomes weaker! If I make him stronger, he becomes fatter! This is an unsolvable cultivation paradox!”
Before Lin Feng could recover from this existential crisis, Yuan Bao suddenly straightened his back, puffed out his chest, and shouted with heroic determination.
“Teacher! I’m ready now! You have all my ears! Please teach me and train me in how to become handsome and lose all this fat! I’m ready to go on a diet! I will fast for a whole year straight if that’s what it takes to get a Dao companion!”
He clenched his fists, eyes burning with resolve, as if he were about to charge into a life-or-death battle… against carbohydrates.
Lin Feng stared at him.
His gaze slowly traveled from Yuan Bao’s determined eyes… to his round cheeks… to his thick neck… to his massive belly… and then back to his eyes again.
His mouth twitched.
“…About that,” Lin Feng said carefully, choosing his words like someone defusing a bomb.
“Let’s… postpone the weight loss for now, Yuan Bao.”