Chapter 562 - 561: Exchange of Jokes

Chapter 562: Chapter 561: Exchange of Jokes

As the parade moved off into the distance, the surrounding crowd thinned out considerably.

The group quickly made their way out of the crowd and headed toward the west gate of Holy Tear City. According to Kase, he had spotted a decent-looking tavern over there when he’d visited before.

When they arrived, they noticed that this tavern seemed to have far more metal pipes on its exterior than other buildings.

After handing Big Hoof Treasure over to the groom in the courtyard, Colin led the others into the main hall.

The tavern’s main hall, however, was no different from any other. Tables and chairs were scattered about, and a Wandering Poet was performing near the counter.

Colin walked up to the counter.

The owner was a Gnome, but surprisingly, he didn’t have the eye-catching hairstyles typical of other Gnomes. Furthermore, his skin had a grayish-black hue.

’He might be an Underground Gnome,’ Colin thought.

Much like the Drow and the Gray Dwarves, Underground Gnomes are the subterranean counterparts to Surface Gnomes. Their excavation skills rival those of the Dwarves, but they prefer Gemstones over rare metals and possess an unparalleled talent for stone carving and jewelry craftsmanship.

However, unlike creatures such as the Gray Dwarves, Underground Gnomes are typically good-natured beings.

Of course, having to survive in the perilous Underworld, most Underground Gnomes are quite taciturn and strongly dislike others prying into their personal lives.

This was not without reason. Rumor had it that the largest city of Underground Gnomes beneath the Northern Lands had been conquered by the Drow several decades ago, causing vast numbers of Underground Gnomes to lose their homes.

"You’re the first gray-skinned madman I’ve seen since leaving the Underworld." The Gnome owner glanced at Dorn. "Are you waiting for me to grab a broom and sweep you out?"

"Let’s go. No point wasting our time here," Dorn said, tugging on Colin’s forearm.

Just then, the Underground Gnome owner spoke again. "A Half-Demon, a Half-Orc, and a Gray Dwarf... If you all went traveling together, what style of inn would you stay in?"

The question made the group, who had been about to leave, hesitate.

A Gnome patron from a nearby table chimed in, "I bet it would be something with a dark theme!"

"Wrong." A mocking smile appeared on the Gnome owner’s face. "Prison-style."

Hearing his companions being mocked, Dorn turned to the Underground Gnome and said, "Hey, Slave 189, what are you waiting for? Get back to work, now!"

"What kind of a joke is that?" the Gnome patron who had chimed in grumbled.

But as soon as Dorn spoke, the smile on the owner’s face vanished without a trace. In the Underworld, Underground Gnomes were considered a highly sought-after type of slave.

Just then, Ale joined the fray. "A Half-Giant walks into a tavern. After ordering a drink, he finds a seat and says to the patron next to him, ’Hey, this tavern is really considerate! They even put armrests on the chairs, decorated with horns, no less!’

"At that moment, the Underground Gnome sitting next to him, who was wearing a Horned Helmet, screamed, ’Hey, that’s my head!’"

Dorn shot the tavern owner a challenging look.

The owner, looking like he was trying hard not to laugh, said, "I’ve never seen a Gnome in a Horned Helmet in my life. You just adapted a Dwarf joke, didn’t you?"

"Pointy-eared little princess, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?!" Dorn whirled around to stare at Ale in disbelief.

Ale retorted, her face expressionless, "I only know Dwarf jokes, so I had to adapt one."

"Alright, I apologize for my rudeness," the tavern owner said. "When I first insulted you and you didn’t immediately fight back, I had already decided not to make things difficult for you. Are you looking for rooms or just something to eat? I’ll give you a twenty percent discount."

"We’ll take an Ordinary room, then. As for food, just bring us your house specialties. Also, we left a Hoar Horse in the stables. How much will it cost to look after it?" Colin asked.

"Three Gold Coins plus a few Silver Coins will be enough. I swear I’m not overcharging you. Every inch of land in Holy Tear City is precious, sirs."

"I can tell," Colin said.

After paying, he took the key from the owner and, following his directions, went to the innermost room on the third floor of the tavern.

The room consisted of a sitting room, a washroom, and two bedrooms. It was quite spacious inside, and the temperature was significantly warmer than it was out in the hall.

In a corner of the room were two objects that looked like radiators. Colin went over and gently touched one; to his surprise, it actually was a radiator.

There were no candles in the room; illumination came from strange bulbs on the ceiling. From their appearance alone, Colin couldn’t tell what their power source was.

"Everyone, come look at this bathtub! What are these things inside?" Orelia shouted from the washroom doorway.

The others gathered around to look. Inside the tub were several small wooden mallets, and next to it were a few buttons labeled with words like "Strong" and "Weak."

"It must be a massage tub. You lie down, and the little wooden mallets relax your body."

As he spoke, Colin pressed a button on the wall, and sure enough, the small wooden mallets whirred to life.

"Mr. Colin knows everything," Orelia said. She then clasped her hands together and pleaded with the others, "May I please take a bath first, my good sirs?"

"Go ahead, I don’t mind."

After the others agreed, they returned to the sitting room.

Just then, a knock came at the door.

He opened the door and saw several Gnomes—actual people with dwarfism—standing there holding trays of food. "Your meals, my lords," one said.

"Er... thank you."

Colin and the others quickly took the food and returned to the sitting room.

The meal consisted of Holy Tear City grilled fish, a bowl of beef stew, a large chunk of bread, and a mug of pale ale.

The beef stew seemed to have been braised with ale; its broth had a clear, pale-gold color that looked incredibly appetizing. It was a perfect pairing for the dark bread and grilled fish.

After a night’s rest, the group led Big Hoof Treasure out of the west gate, following the main road toward the distant Witch’s Hammer Mountain Range.

The main road was crowded with caravans and lumber wagons, as well as figures like traveling merchants and Adventurers, making for a bustling scene.

Not far from the city, logging camps and tree stumps began to appear on both sides of the road.

Tall Constructs with axes and saws for arms bustled about, identifying mature trees in the forest and felling them.