I Have 10,000 SSS Rank Villains In My System Space

Chapter 377: Selena Pov 2

“What if something worse had happened to him because of my lie?” she whispered. “That thought alone should have stopped me. Right there and then.” Her fingers trembled, curling tighter as if trying to hold onto something solid. “But it didn’t. Because I was… ugly. Because I just wanted him.”

The last words barely came out.

“And I… I just…”

She couldn’t finish. The sentence dissolved into silence, her eyes filled with a quiet, crushing sadness that no longer tried to hide itself.

“You aren’t.” Marcella just shook her head before Selena could retreat further into her own words, the motion quiet but firm, as if cutting through something fragile before it could harden into certainty. She did not raise her voice. She did not rush. Her tone remained steady, grounded in a patience that came from years of watching a certain person break themselves over things they could no longer change.

“It is fine to be selfish,” she continued, her gaze resting on Selena without pressure. “It does not make you an ugly person. Everyone is selfish in one way or another. No one acts without desire. And your intent was never to harm him in first place. That matters more than you are allowing yourself to believe.” She paused briefly, letting the words settle instead of forcing them forward. “You should not be questioning your entire self because of one decision.”

Selena’s expression did not change, but her breathing slowed slightly, as though some part of her was listening despite herself.

Marcella’s posture softened just enough to lose its usual severity. “You are a beautiful, kind person,” she said quietly. “Remember that. You are a saintess, Selena. And that is not a title given lightly. There is a reason you were chosen.” Her voice lowered, losing its analytical edge, becoming something more personal. “You have always been gentle. Compassionate. Humble to a fault. You feel for others even when it costs you. That kind of heart is rare.”

She studied Selena’s face carefully, watching the faint resistance there, the refusal to accept what was being said.

“You have a beautiful soul, Selena. You need to know that.” Her brow furrowed slightly. “And do not call yourself ugly. Because if you truly were… you would not be suffering like this now.”

The words hung between them.

“The only reason you are in this condition,” Marcella continued, more softly now, “is because you believe you hurt him. Because you cannot bear what your choice led to for him. That pain you are carrying.. it is evidence in itself that you aren’t a ugly person.” She exhaled slowly. ” Because If you were.. you would not care. If you were selfish in the way you accuse yourself of being, you would have moved on already.”

Her gaze drifted briefly toward the empty expanse of the training hall before returning to Selena. “I have seen many people in similar situations. Most would say, ’What happened has happened.’ If the outcome favored them, they would not look back. People rarely carry guilt when they succeed. That is the reality.”

Her eyes sharpened slightly. “But look at you. You are letting it consume you. You ignore your own strength, everything you still have, and allow this guilt to swallow you whole even when it was just a childish mistake.” Her voice softened again, almost tired. “That is not the behavior of someone without conscience. It is proof of how deeply you care. Proof of how much you actually loved him.”

Selena’s fingers trembled faintly where they rested against the floor.

“You are suffering physically because of him,” Marcella went on. “Simply thinking about what happened is enough to hurt you. You came here knowing what it could cost you. You admitted everything yourself. You asked Nova to bring Razeal back safely, even knowing what might happen to you afterward.” Her eyes narrowed slightly, not in criticism but in emphasis. “You were ready to accept death. Ready to declare your actions before the entire empire if necessary.”

She shook her head slowly. “Do you think anyone can go that far for someone? To willingly destroy themselves? No. Most people cannot. No matter what they claim.”

Her voice lowered further. “Your heart is pure. That is the truth you are refusing to accept.”

Silence stretched between them, heavy but no longer empty.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Marcella continued after a moment. “And the result is never fully in their hands. Sometimes the outcome becomes ugly small or large, and in your case, it became something terrible. But that does not mean you deserved punishment of this scale.” She paused, her expression tightening slightly as she chose her words carefully. “It was a child’s mistake. And even if what was said about Razeal had been true, he would not have deserved to be destroyed like that either. He was a child as well. He would have deserved guidance. Correction.”

A faint hardness entered her voice then, directed elsewhere. “What Lady Merisa did was wrong. That, too, is part of the truth. Judgment without understanding the situation is never justice.”

Marcella looked down at Selena, her gaze steady. “One must understand the circumstances before judging the act itself. Sometimes the situation itself is what is rotten, not the people caught within it.”

She fell silent after that, allowing the words to remain without pressing further.

“And that,” she finished quietly, “is what you need to understand. You need to take care of this guilt. Because it is heavier than what your actions deserve. You deserve peace, Selena. But you will not find it until you accept this.”

Her voice softened into something almost weary. “Guilt is a heavy burden. It can consume an entire life if you let it.”

Marcella said nothing more, simply watching her.

Selena closed her eyes.

Her head rested back against the wall, the cool stone pressing against her skin. She knew these things. Somewhere, rationally, she understood them. But understanding and accepting were not the same. The guilt did not loosen simply because someone explained it away. It remained, lodged deep inside her chest, unmoving.

Her breathing became shallow again.

Peace.

The word felt distant, unfamiliar.

After a moment, she drew in a quiet breath and opened her eyes again. When she looked at Marcella this time, a faint smile appeared on her lips.. fragile, exhausted, unable to hide the sorrow behind it.

“Peace?” she murmured softly. “Why don’t I get peace?” Her gaze drifted slightly, unfocused, as if following thoughts only she could see. “Is there only one person in this world?” Her voice lowered further, barely above a whisper. “Because it feels like I’m drowning… just thinking about him. Every moment.. It Makes me wanna rip myself to pieces and kill myself.. I. I don’t know.”

The smile remained, but it hurt to look at.

Marcella watched her for several seconds, saying nothing. The answer to that kind of pain could not be forced. Finally, she spoke again, her voice gentle but direct.

“You told him the truth,” she asked, “about why you did it?”

Selena slowly shook her head.

Marcella’s expression shifted faintly, something thoughtful passing through her eyes. “Then did he ask you why?” she continued. “Because sometimes… what remains between two people is not hatred, but misunderstanding and in your case i think it is very much.”

She stepped a little closer, her tone calm, reasonable. “If you were both honest with each other, perhaps this distance between you would not feel so absolute. It might not erase what happened. Nothing can do that. But a mature person can understand the difference between betrayal and a wrong choice made without bad intent.”

Her gaze softened, though her words remained clear. “If you speak to him honestly, it may not fix everything. But it might lessen the pain.. for both of you.”

And at Marcella’s words, something shifted across Selena’s face small, almost imperceptible at first. Then a smile appeared. It was not relief, nor acceptance. It carried a quiet weight, the kind that came from understanding something painful too well to argue against it anymore. The sadness in it was so deep that it made the air around her feel heavier.

A faint breath left her lips, almost a laugh, though no humor followed it.

“If he asked me why I did it?” she murmured, her voice soft and uneven, as though the words were being pulled from somewhere fragile. Her gaze drifted away from Marcella for a moment, unfocused, lost in something only she could see. “What kind of pain and sorrow would there be then?”

Her smile trembled slightly, but it did not disappear.

“The pain is there because… he didn’t even bother asking.” The last words came quieter, nearly breaking apart before reaching the end. “That’s… that’s the thing that hurts me the most.”

Marcella felt her chest tighten unexpectedly at the sight. The expression on Selena’s face was not dramatic, not desperate. It was worse than that.. resigned, gentle, as if she had already accepted that this was simply how things were meant to be. It was the saddest smile Marcella had ever seen, and for a moment she found herself unable to respond.

A slow sigh escaped her instead.

This girl is carrying far more than she ever deserved for what she did, Marcella thought, the realization settling heavily in her chest. There was punishment, and then there was this someone condemning themselves long after the world had stopped doing it for them.

“I understand what you mean,” Marcella said at last, shaking her head slightly, her voice quieter now. She hesitated for a moment, studying Selena’s expression as if weighing whether her next words would help or wound further. “May I give you some advice?”

The question came carefully, almost formally, as though she were asking permission to step into something personal rather than simply speaking her mind.

Selena looked at her for several seconds. Her eyes searched Marcella’s face, perhaps trying to guess what she was about to hear, before she finally nodded once.

Marcella drew a slow breath. “In life,” she began, choosing her words deliberately, “a person can gain many things. But no one gets everything.” Her gaze remained steady, though a faint sadness lingered beneath her calm tone. “You can try. Everyone does. But sometimes… if something refuses to work no matter how much you reach for it, you have to let it go.”

She paused, watching Selena closely.

“Chasing him now will only bring you more suffering. I can see that you still love him.” Her voice softened slightly. “But after everything that has happened… and after seeing him the last time I did… perhaps you should consider giving up.”

The words were spoken plainly, without cruelty, but they carried weight. Marcella knew they would hurt. She expected resistance, tears, anger something. After all, what she was saying, stripped of gentleness, was simple: you may never have him.

“I learned this very late myself,” she continued, her tone quieter, reflective. “Some things cannot be fixed. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you stop drowning in guilt.”

She held Selena’s gaze as she spoke, fully aware that her words might cut. She did not want to say them, but she believed they needed to be said. Better a painful truth now than a lifetime spent clinging to something that would only reopen wounds.

She expected Selena to break.

Instead, Selena just smiled.

It wasn’t denial. It wasn’t defiance. It was something softer, almost peaceful, and that alone made Marcella pause.

Selena shook her head slowly. “Maybe that’s how it is,” she said quietly. “But I can’t do that. Even if I want to… it’s impossible.”

Marcella exhaled softly, a sad understanding crossing her face. “Then you will learn it the long way,” she replied, offering a faint, sympathetic smile of her own. “Most people do. One day, you will understand.”

But Selena shook her head again, more firmly this time.

“No,” she said, her voice steady despite its softness. “It’s not about understanding.” She lowered her gaze briefly, then lifted it again, and there was no hesitation in her eyes now. “It’s because it’s just impossible. I won’t be able to stop wanting him. Or loving him. Even if I try.”

Marcella watched her carefully, sensing that this was not stubbornness. It was certainty.

Selena slowly raised her right hand and pressed it lightly against her chest, over her heart. The motion was unhurried, almost absentminded, yet deeply deliberate.

“It’s because he’s here,” she said.

Her fingers tapped lightly against her chest, once, as if emphasizing something only she could feel. “In my heart.”

A faint, almost embarrassed chuckle escaped her, though her eyes remained gentle. “Like an arrow. If I tried to pull him out from here, he wouldn’t come out. And even if it did that heart would come out with arrow..” She smiled faintly, the sadness in it softened by something warmer now. “But he definitely wouldn’t come out from within my heart.. He’s very deeply embedded you see.”

The conviction in her voice left no room for exaggeration. She wasn’t dramatizing her feelings; she was simply stating a truth she had already accepted.

And hearing something like this Marcella found herself just staring at her in silence. There was nothing naïve in Selena’s expression, no illusion or fantasy. Only quiet certainty. For the first time, Marcella understood that this was not something that could be reasoned away.

After a moment, she shook her head lightly, a small breath leaving her in something close to disbelief.

“Then may I at least know,” she asked, a faint chuckle slipping into her voice despite herself, “What exactly he did to earn such a place in a heart like yours? To be loved to this depth?”

Selena looked at her for a moment, then slowly shook her head again.

“He didn’t do anything,” she said softly.

Her smile changed then, becoming distant, touched by memory rather than pain. For a brief moment, the sorrow in her eyes eased.

“He doesn’t need to,” she continued. “He is just… love itself.” Her gaze lowered slightly, as if recalling something gentle and untouchable. “How could I not love him?”

The words were simple, but the sincerity behind them left no space for argument.

And.. Marcella found herself without words.

For several seconds she simply stared at Selena, her thoughts momentarily suspended, as though something inside her had failed to keep pace with what she had just heard. The simplicity of the answer lingered in the air he is just love itself and it disarmed her more effectively than any argument could have. She opened her mouth slightly, then closed it again, realizing she had nothing to say that would not sound smaller than what had already been spoken.

Inwardly, she couldn’t help but curse.

Lucky bastard.

The thought came unfiltered, rising from somewhere deep and honest before she could stop it. Watching Selena now, seeing the quiet certainty in her expression, the absence of hesitation or doubt, Marcella could not deny it. To be loved like this.. without calculation, without condition, without self-preservation was something most people never experienced in their entire lives. And Razeal, whether he understood it or not, had someone who loved him to that depth.

She shook her head faintly, a reluctant smile touching her lips despite herself. There was something painfully beautiful about it. Tragic, perhaps. Foolish, certainly. But beautiful all the same. For a brief moment, the harshness of reality felt distant, replaced by the rare sincerity of a feeling that asked for nothing in return.

But then suddenly ..it broke.

Selena’s body stiffened.

The change was immediate and unmistakable. Her half-lidded eyes eyes that had barely opened fully for days suddenly widened, clarity snapping into them like lightning cutting through fog. Her breathing hitched as if.. Something had reached her, something only she could feel or sense.

Before Marcella could even process the shift, Selena was already moving.

She pushed herself off the ground in a single motion, energy flaring instinctively around her, golden light flickering across her body as she surged toward the door. It wasn’t hesitation or thought that drove her.. it was instinct. Pure, overwhelming certainty. Her movement blurred, a streak of gold crossing the training hall in an instant.

But just as she did.. she stopped in mid motion.

Not by her own will.

Marcella’s eyes narrowed slightly as her hand lifted almost absentmindedly. Invisible force wrapped around Selena’s body, halting her mid-motion. The air itself seemed to tighten, locking her in place without visible restraint. Telekinetic pressure held her suspended where she stood, feet barely touching the floor.

There was no struggle. There didn’t need to be. Within Marcella’s control, escape was impossible.

“What?” Marcella frowned, genuinely caught off guard. “Are you trying to run now?”

She had never expected this from Selena. Not after weeks of stillness, of quiet resignation. The sudden urgency felt foreign.

But before she could question further, she saw Selena’s face.

Tears were already falling.

Not slowly, not quietly.. her eyes had filled so suddenly that the tears seemed to spill before she even realized they were there. Her expression was raw, stripped of composure, something breaking through that had been held back for far too long.

Marcella’s frown deepened, confusion flashing briefly across her features.

And before she could just wonder what exactly happened.. then Selena spoke.

“Lady Marcella… I.. Razeal is back in the empire. I just sensed him.” Her voice trembled, breath uneven, words rushing over each other in desperation. “Let me go. Please… let me go to him. He’s back. I… I need to meet him.. I need to see.. ee hi.. imm..”

The desperation in her voice was unmistakable. It wasn’t excitement. It wasn’t relief. It was need sharp and overwhelming, like someone drowning finally seeing the surface.

“Please,” she whispered again, her shoulders trembling against the invisible restraint. “Let me go.”

Marcella blinked once, her expression returning to calm even as her mind moved quickly through the implications. Of course she knows that Selena was born with special sensory ability. And Selena’s sensory ability had always been exceptional, far beyond ordinary perception. If she said she sensed him, then he was indeed back.

Marcella understood the reaction now.

But understanding did not make the decision easier.

“Apologies,” she began, her voice steady despite the tension beneath it. “I can’t. Lady Nova ordered..”

“Please!”

The interruption came immediately, breaking through her words. Selena’s voice cracked, desperation overtaking restraint entirely.

“I’ve never asked you for anything,” she said, the words tumbling out as if she feared time itself was slipping away. “Please let me go. I won’t run away. You know I won’t. I just want to see him. Just once. Please… I’m begging you.”

Her eyes were wide, frantic, filled with a fear so raw it was almost painful to witness. She looked as though she would give up anything pride, dignity, even herself if it meant being allowed to take one step forward.

And Marcella knew she meant it.

Selena understood perfectly well that resistance was useless. Marcella was stronger than her.. stronger than her father, stronger than two or more of the empire’s dukes combined. There was no force Selena could use, no power she could invoke. Begging was the only option left to her.

So she begged.

And that was what unsettled Marcella the most.

She had never seen Selena like this. Never seen her reduced to pleading, her voice shaking, her composure completely gone. This was not stubborn love or childish insistence anymore. This was someone reaching for the only thing keeping them from falling apart.

Marcella hesitated.

The invisible hold remained, but her certainty did not.

She could not go against Nova’s orders. That alone should have ended the matter. Discipline, loyalty, responsibility.. these were things she did not compromise on.

And yet.

She looked at Selena again.

At the tears she wasn’t even trying to hide. At the desperation that made her hands tremble despite knowing it was useless. At the girl she had watched grow up, who now looked unbearably small beneath the weight she carried.

Marcella felt something tighten in her chest.

She had known Selena since she was young. Had watched her train, stumble, grow, smile. Seeing her like this pitiful, broken in a way that had nothing to do with weakness made the decision far less simple than it should have been.

Silence stretched between them.

Seconds passed. Then more.

Marcella said nothing, her expression unreadable as she stood there, caught between duty and something far more human. The pressure holding Selena in place did not loosen, but neither did it tighten.

She simply stood there, thinking.

And finally, after what felt like far too long…

Sighhh~

—-