I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 97: The Duchess’ Advice

“His Majesty will be here soon.”

That night, in the Queen’s Palace, Rihannan was changing her robes as she sat on the bed listening to the Mrs. Cessley talk about Igor.

He’d make his way to this room at any second and Rihannan knew fully well that a series groups of aristocratic men would bear witness to their consummation.

She’d been silent since earlier and Mrs. Cessley took notice of it and held her hands. “My Queen, do you remember what I spoke of yesterday?”

Rihannan nodded, her smile bitter.

Yesterday morning, Mrs. Cessley spoke in great detail what would occur on her and Igor’s first night. It was her mother’s duty to instruct her, but she had long passed, so the Duchess stepped in and took the mother-like role for Rihannan.

Her former Maid of Honor had, too, been instructed to teach Rihannan what to do on her first night, but she was no help, only telling her to remain still and follow her husband’s instruction.

Rihannan was ignorant of what occurred during the consummation process, only to realize what went on in the midst of the night when Igor stripped his clothes off and drowned in pleasure.

Mrs. Cessley gave her a detailed account of what a man should do on their first night and what it meant. Her explanations were simple and Rihannan, who had many experiences, learned something new.

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Cessley. I remember everything you said,” she answered calmly.

Mrs. Cessley smiled softly and stroked her cheek. “A woman’s first time will always be painful. I know you’re scared, but that pain is unavoidable.”

Rihannan lowered her eyes.

She was naive then… thinking that if she pushed Igor away then all problems would simply disappear, but thinking back to it now, it was quite reckless of her. How could a king, a ruler of a country, who had already declared and established his marriage to her in front of many spectators and the priests easily back away as if nothing had happened?

He was a king, but even he had no choice.

They were being watched.

“Then, my wife, I don’t want it either, but endure it, even if you don’t like it. You can’t run away from this now.”

Those cold words she did not understand at the time was made clear. A marriage could not be canceled, especially not on their first night, and those wretched nobles would see to it that they commit the pleasurable act.

…Maybe that’s why he took her action as siding with his mother..?

…What a beautiful, tragic misunderstanding.

Rihannan sighed inwardly.

Fortunately, the situation this time around was better than their last. She and Igor had a relatively good relationship and she had no intention of rejecting his advances.

Mrs. Cessley said the physical pain would pass and soon she’ll feel good.

…But the witnessing nobles would be watching…

“I understand, Mrs. Cessley.”

“You won’t feel the pain all the time. After a while, it’ll feel nice, as if you’re walking on clouds.”

Rihannan knew Mrs. Cessley had much experience with the act, but there were parts she could not agree with. Whenever she and Igor slept together countless times, she never felt the joy Mrs. Cessley described.

But maybe she’ll feel thatsweet goodness this time around.

“Of course, His Majesty will have to work hard,” Mrs. Cessley said, her smile rather mischievous.

Soon, a maid politely entered and announced Igor’s arrival.

“His Majesty is on the way.”

The door opened not long after.

Mrs. Cessley gripped on Rihannan’s hand one last time and stood up.

“Have a good night, My Queen.”

As the sound of her footsteps faded, Rihannan looked at the floor.

She was nervous.

Perhaps the Maid of Honor of the past was right – that it was better to lie like a fish when there are countless eyes watching?

“Rihannan.”

A voice rang.

Rihannan noticed the room was quiet. Too quiet. She could not hear the voices of the witnesses.

She raised her head slowly and took in a deep breath.

It was only Igor.

He was taking off his robes that he’d worn all day.

Rihannan turned her eyes elsewhere.