I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 77: Duchess Kisses Her Hand

“If you’re wondering why, My Queen. It is not because I owe His Majesty, but on the contrary, His Majesty owes me.”

“!”

Rihannan’s eyes trembled

“My husband and I supported the young king when forced to pick a side. I persuaded my husband, who could not decide whether to back the queen or the young king at the time. I was once head of noble society. At one word I could sway the decision and thoughts of the aristocrats. I saw the king’s potential. My eyes are often precise, My Queen. The king knows this strength of mine well. After the death of my husband, His Majesty requested that I remain in the capital, but I refused. I left for the countryside hoping to spend the rest of my life in quiet solitude. And then, as if predestined… I came back to the capital…”

The Duchess smiled brightly. Her smile was one of happiness growing, much as a spring flower does. Rihannan could tell that her smile came from deep inside to light her eyes and spread into every fiber of her being.

“My Queen, I was curious. The woman who had made the king so anxious to hurry and prepare everything according to his plans… I was curious. Rumors spread around the kingdom that His Majesty was not interested in women, but men. We prepared for it, too, prepared when the declaration came and he announces to his subject that he was fond of men. But…” the Duchess chuckled, “this was not the case. In any case, the king looked distressed and overwrought with troubled worries wondering if his queen would fit in well, but it seems His Majesty need not worry. You’re strong, My Queen. Given the courage to ask me that question soon as your arrival, I have no doubt you’ll be able to navigate through the wickedness of the many aristocrats’ malicious thoughts.”

The Duchess pondered for a moment, her flickering eyes twinkling with excitement.

“But, My Queen, you do not trust me and I know nothing about you. I understand. So, how about this… why not spend the rest of this month before the wedding to get to know each other? Is this not a sound idea?”

“Princess, you don’t know me. Aren’t you curious to know the kind person I am, right? Then, why not spend the rest of our time getting to know each other?”

Rihannan said similar words to Helena after brushing her platinum hair. Helena was only accustomed to people who asked for her unconditional trust or blunt expression that they’d follow the princess to the ends of the world. Rihannan’s offer was fresh. None had ever told Helena to experience and judge for herself. And now, the Duchess had given Rihannan the same offer she asked of Helena.

“You’ve been away from Arundell for a while and things have changed. You’ll navigate through the unknown, and you’ll need help, if not me. Once you’ve judged me trustworthy, I will stay by your side, My Queen. If not, then we shall part.”

Rihannan thought it fortunate that she was able to see through Helena’s sincerity. The Duchess must have thought the same. Because of Helena, Rihannan had learned many things, otherwise, she’d never take the Duchess’ proposal positively.

Rihannan smiled softly and reached out her hand.

The Duchess noticed her meaning and kissed the back of her hand.

“Please take good care of me from now on, duchess.”

The Duchess let out a soft smile.

The two walked to the palace together.

***

The first thing she saw was antique paintings hanging on the walls, a stark contrast between the Chrintonites who enjoyed decorating their walls and ceilings with other items other than paintings.

Rihannan raised herself up and breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment, she thought she had returned to the past to experience the nightmares with eyes wide awake over again.

She looked out the window. It was early dawn. She tossed and turned around in her bed late at night till she fell asleep. She had trouble sleeping, afraid of returning to that cold, shivering prison. Afraid… that… maybe… this was all an illusion…

Rihannan curled herself up on the bed and brought her knees to her forehead.

Was it the drugs that had been thrown away making her think such thoughts? Or was it the new environment?

She feared her dreams, her nightmares.

Last night she saw Igor’s face and felt his coldness. But Rihannan was used to this. It was fine. And then she saw her father’s face and Leticia clinging onto him, his back facing her as if she had been abandoned…

Her heart crumbled and she awoke from her sleep crying out in pain and she thought she had returned to the past… fortunately, it was not so.

As the sun rose gradually, the room brightened.

A knock from the other side of the door rang and the maids entered when she answered.

“Your Majesty, would you like a face wash or a bath prepared?”

Rihannan examined the faces of her ladies-in-waiting who she did not have time to take a proper look at last night. None of them had attended her in the past. It seems the people in the palace have changed drastically more than she expected.

“A face wash is fine.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. We’ll prepare a face wash right away.”

“And Mrs. Cessley?”

“She will be here soon, Your Majesty.”