I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 69: Hope of Love

Igor warned her that he’d not sit idle should she cross a certain line. But inwardly, he thought of letting go of her clumsy spying. If only she stood by his side instead of his mother, he’d have protected her at all cost, but this was not the case…

‘…..Why does it hurt so much?’

Igor did not know the sort of expression she made at his remark. He gave her one last look before turning to the other side, falling asleep thereafter with a heavy heart.

Their cold relationship continued, never to be amended. After their first night, guiltiness struck his heart recalling her painful face. He felt terrible… like he had raped her. No, he did…

What had he done…?

‘…..Is this what marriage is like?’

But when he looked at Basil, his servant, it was not like that. After years of marriage with his wife, he remained true and devoted. He was the happiest man in the world whenever he spoke about his lover.

Igor’s mind wandered back to his wife, wondering if she would neglect her duty to bear him a second child after their firstborn, one that the nobility and the queen kept nagging them. And so Igor held the woman who shrank at his embrace regularly. They had little dialogue and Igor found this unbearable. Their relationship as husband and wife was unbearable.

And love?

There was none.

They would live in a cold and bitter relationship for the rest of their lives.

But Igor hoped that someday… it would change.

Not now, but someday.

Someday.

In the meantime, he gradually built a plan to destroy the Queen’s power using means to drive out her people without bloodshed. It would be through the tax audit, a plan he prepared long ago. After a long while, he caught the tails of the major nobles on the Queen’s side. Some of his people fell in his trap, but he persevered. In this silent war, he’ll need to give up an arm or a leg to beat his opponent.

…But the problem was his wife’s father. He was on the list. For over a decade, he had been siphoning off a huge amount of taxes and putting them in his pocket. Igor was troubled. It would affect his wife… was he willing to hurt her in the process and destroy any chance of reconciliation?

Igor was at a loss.

Not long after, the queen noticed his plan. Donning a carefree smile, she said, “It’s capital treason and a sin to siphon the kingdom’s taxes from the people. It’ll shake the nation’s foundation. You’re right, Igor, it’s not a bad idea to use this opportunity to get rid of the bad apples in the tree.”

She agreed with his plan.

“Though I hear that Count Alessin, Rihannan’s father, pocketed a lot of the kingdom’s taxes too. The Queen’s family that should set an example for the kingdom committed felony and treason. Yes, Igor, throw the Count in jail and take away his title while destroying your wife in the process.”

“…..Are you trying to shield my wife?”

It was widely known to the nobles that the Queen cared for his wife dearly – always worrying about her health and well-being. Her needs came first before Igor, her only son. In his eyes, he was the outsider, the third-wheel interfering with his wife and his mother’s loving relationship.

“Of course I would. I want her safe. How can I not like that kind and caring child? Don’t harm her, Igor, but if you’d like to continue, you’ll need to throw her away to complete your plans.”

It was a warning. If he continued the tax audit and probed any further, the fault of her father’s crime would be placed on her. She would become the sinner.

Igor’s first battle against his mother resulted in a loss. At her reasonable comment, he gave up. Though his wife abandoned him and turned her back on him, he could not do the same. The chance and hope to reconcile their broken relationship and build a happy future together meant more to him than going against his mother.

Since then, nothing had changed. The nobles caught in the tax audit were slapped with a light punishment such as fines. They maintained their existing status and authorities. What’s more, their loyalty to the queen grew fervent and dealing with her became more difficult than ever for Igor.

“Igor’s interest in the sea has grown as of recent.”

Not long after, the Queen brought the topic up at a banquet where all major nobles gathered.

While Igor had ordered the tax audit previously, he also turned to the sea. As Chrichton built their wealth through active trades with other nations, Arundell remained at a standstill. The reason why was because Chrichton controlled the sea.

Igor, however, had a strong urge and need to build his own strength in the sea. He was not sure when their alliance with Chrichton would last. In addition, the Toulouse Empire showed great and earnest ambition to capture neighboring kingdoms. Igor could only turn to the sea. For the sake of Arundell’s survival, Igor needed the sea.