I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 60: Mother’s Grave

Surprise and bewilderment left the servants awestruck, their hearts jolting as they looked up at their king’s face, before quickly lowering their heads.

Jeffrey rarely wore a look of shock. This time he did. “My lady will become the queen of this country?”

“Yes,” Igor replied then looked at Rihannan and said to her, “I said before that we’re on schedule. I can’t give you much time. Do you think you’ll finish up in an hour?”

Rihannan nodded. “Yes, that’s enough. I appreciate your consideration.”

“I see. So…” Igor picked up his foot and moved towards a certain direction.

The servants sighed in relief and straightened their backs when he was no longer standing before their presence.

Rihannan smiled bitterly. “That’s how things turned out. Let’s go inside for now.”

Rihannan relayed to Jeffrey the dismal and discouraging events that occurred in Crichton. They would find out soon enough… that Chrichton’s king and nobles handed her over like a pawn in exchange for avoiding the war.

Rihannan, under Jeffrey’s guidance, looked around the mansion for the first time. It was clean and properly taken care of as if she had only left yesterday. Placing Jeffrey in charge was the best choice, after all.

“Thank you for all this time, Jeffrey.”

“Naturally. It is my job, Miss.”

Rihannan smiled. Still the same as always. Like the unchanging mansion, Jeffrey, too, had not changed.

She and Jeffrey walked up the stairway. Every nook and cranny of the mansion was filled with only memories of her and her mother. Traces of the count was removed – even his portraits and statues were nowhere to be seen. Atop the stairway, Rihannan turned around, recalling the moment she drove her father and half-sister away and remembering the time she woke up confused and only to realize she returned to the past.

‘I had no idea I’d come back like this.’

Bitter thoughts invaded her mind like a plague.

“My Lady, you said before that you’d never marry or bear a child. Now you’re to marry soon,” Jeffrey laughed softly, interrupting Rihannan’s thoughts. “If you bear a beautiful child later, please bring him or her back here. I’m sure the late countess would love to see her grandchild.”

“Jeffrey, have you heard from Leticia since then?” Rihannan changed the subject and look at the old butler briefly.

Jeffrey shook his head. “No, not at all. The last she came to this place was during the count’s funeral.”

“I see…” Rihannan nodded.

Leticia, she’ll be fine. Wherever she goes, Rihannan’s sure that she’ll use her cunning mind.

‘She’ll be okay.’

There was no need to worry about her.

“Jeffrey, I’d like to see my mother’s grave for the last time.”

***

Rihannan’s mother, Anastasia Alessin, slept quietly in the family resting place. Next to her was the man she loved. A sense of depriving exhilaration came over Rihannan’s trembling heart. The Alessin Family pleaded for him to rest by her side, but she knew her father would have refused to lie next to her but next to his lover.

Forever ‘till death do they part never existed.

Her mother loved him so much that if need be she would have stolen all the stars in the galaxies. When she looked at him, she could not stop, and before she knew it, she had given her heart to him unconditionally. She had dreams with him, dreams of looking back from the past when they were old and gray, hoping to see that their hands still fit perfectly together as she tells her grand-kids that the greatest adventure of her life was loving him. But it was not enough. She brought him into her life… absorbing his poison and calling it love.

Rihannan stroked the tombstone with her mother’s name on it.

“Mother…. please tell me I did a good job…”

To bury her mother’s love next to her and leave Arundell days after her death only to return back to the soil she was born… did she make a mistake in her choice?

Rihannan feared the unknown future, afraid that she would tear down all her efforts by sheer mistake. If only her mother was here to comfort her, maybe… maybe she’ll gain the courage she did not have. But such an answer cannot come from a dead man.

“Mother…”

As Rihannan’s face gradually darkened, a small bouquet of flowers was placed in front of the tombstone.

“They love flowers,” Basil said.

Rihannan looked up in astonishment. Basil had appeared so suddenly without sound. And next to him was Igor. He looked down at her, stared at her surprised face for a second, before looking back at the countess’ tomb and said, “Of course, I don’t believe it at all, but I think the countess will like those flowers…”

The flowers he had brought were crude like they had been plucked from the grass. The length of the flower was not proper but jagged and tied around a string sloppily.

At first, Rihannan thought it was Basil who had done it, but then she noticed dirt staining Igor’s hand…