I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 29: Another Funeral

Thereafter, Rihannan bid her farewell and left the room.

When she arrived in Chrichton six years ago, Rihannan became Helena’s companion not long after. Helena was the youngest royal child and dutifully loved by the House of Crichton. Many noblemen tried and wooed the princess’ heart, but unable to bear her temper, they quit. But Rihannan, who was also of royalty by blood and the same age as the princess, arrived like a knight in shining armor and became Helena’s true friend.

Rihannan, she was authentic and Helena liked that. Helena grew fond of Rihannan despite their personality differing on the extreme end. Helena had quite the temper while Rihannan was gentle and patient.

They fit in together, like two complete pieces to the puzzle.

The princess had even requested, pleaded that Rihannan live with her in the palace, but Rihannan refused. The thought of the palace made her sick.

Strolling out from the princess’ residence, Rihannan passed through the garden in the middle of the palace. The sun faded to rest and the cold air penetrated through the crevice of her clothes. Rihannan stopped walking and warmed her hands, her mind recalling the conversation she had with the princess previously.

The battle between Arundell and Crichton was raging in the middle of the sea as of current. Crichton should have the upper hand. Sure there exists anomalies between her past and present life, but she’s certain of Chrichton’s victory. For Arundell to build their naval power within a short period of time and surpass Chrichton, it was impossible.

Yet…

She was curious.

Igor was somewhat sanguine but far from reckless. Rihannan knew how long the bitter process he prepared to take power. He’d have found other methods, one that did not include waging wars he could not win.

And she was curious.

Curious that he was able to subdue the Queen’s power and forces, something Igor found extremely difficult previously.

‘Is it because I was not around his presence?’

Rihannan’s silver eyelashes drooped. Perhaps… perhaps her presence near Igor was toxic, perhaps they were toxic, like fire and water — one that could never mix and they destroyed themselves in the process, burning a thousand times playing with fire.

‘This is for the best,’ Rihannan thought. ‘Isn’t this what you wanted, Igor? You’re able to do what you want.’

Igor was no longer the same person she once knew and Rihannan was no longer the same person Igor once knew.

And…

There was also one more difference in this life. Her father. He who lived a healthy and pleasant life before passed away a year ago.

Her father, she spent her life trying to please his twisted disease. She gave herself up, begging for acceptance, but there was nothing in the world Rihannan could do to receive the love from her father. He clipped her wings and became a bird that could never fly.

Jeffrey sent her a letter a year ago. It contained the Count’s obituary.

As she had promised six years ago, Rihannan sent the Count the minimum monthly pension. And as it turns, the Count lived on the minimum pension with Leticia.

And all should be well.

The minimum pension was enough for the two to live comfortably, but Count Alessin gambled the money away and later suffered from rising debts. When the private lenders discovered that he could not afford to pay his debts, they visited Jeffrey and threatened Rihannan to cough out the money, but with Jeffrey’s deft handling, they was forced to give up their venture.

Because they were unable to have Rihannan cough out the debt, they turned back to the Count and went on a rampage.

The Count, unable to pay his debts, fell to his lowest point and killed himself. One morning, Leticia entered his room and found her father on the floor and a poison glass bottle lying next to him.

That was the contents from the letter Rihannnan received.

The rest of the Count’s family, or the family from Rihannan’s paternal side, hoped that he would remain a member of the nobility in death. They delayed his funeral and requested Rihannan if he could be buried where her mother laid to rest.

Rihannan had her reservations at first, but she made her decision quickly. She thought her mother would welcome him by her side even in death despite her one-sided-love.

Rihannan accepted their request.

Rihannan asked Jeffrey for Leticia’s whereabouts. Jeffrey replied that the Count’s relatives turned their back on her and refused to accept her. After all, she was an illegitimate child. No one knew where she went.

And Rihannan, she felt nothing.

She did nothing when she learned her father passed away. She did not go to his funeral, and she did not try to find Leticia, whose whereabouts were unknown.

They had history and that was something Rihannan could overlook. Sure, the Count was furious that Rihannan took away the chance for his other daughter to experience the life of luxury, but that was not Rihannan’s problem.

She should feel sorry, but she did not know how to.

Her father and her sister, they brought her to the abysmal darkness.

To Rihannan, the two weren’t worth her sympathy. And now, their ties was cut. The Count was dead and Leticia was nowhere to be found.

There was nothing that tied her to them.