I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 128: To Not Be Miserable

Rihannan buried her face into his chest. Her warm, salty tears, the river to her soul, coarsed his chest area wet, and she showed no signs of stopping. It looked like it’d fill the ocean anytime soon.

Igor let out a long, painful sigh and said, “Rihannan, do you remember the time when I climbed the tree to keep you from crying? What… what should I do this time? Should I go up the spire and pick out a star from the night sky? Would you then stop? I’m… sorry…”

Her shoulders shivered lightly at his reply. Though in tears, he felt her lips drew to a smile. His pained and regretful heart was relieved.

“It was my fault. It’s all my fault. I touched you without your consent… I ripped off your clothes… I am so sorry… I’m regretting my actions…”

A moment later, Rihannan lifted her head. She had cried and cried that her eyes were red and dry, hoping to fill the void she felt inside. Igor’s heart ached seeing the terrible state she was in. He wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes. Droplets of lukewarm tears landed on his finger.

“I thought you were upset with me… because I overstepped my boundaries,” Rihannan mumbled.

“…Overstepped your boundaries…?”

“I felt that I had offended you telling you to embrace other women… ordering you to…”

“It’s true. I was wrought with anger a while ago, but you’re wrong. There’s nothing you could ever do that would overstep any boundaries,” Igor’s eyes softened, his lips palpitating.

He held her face like she meant the world to him.

“But why did you say that? There must’ve been a reason you said those words out of nowhere,” he asked with a tempered voice.

“Because of Seraphina Rissel,” Rihannan answered with a solemn sigh after hesitating.

Igor’s eyes glowed.

“Did that woman do something to you?”

He should have… stayed longer with her…

The events occurring in the banquet hall came to mind and evoked a sour frown. His lips rolled together in bitter anger. He thought everything would be fine. Rihannan conversed with the nobility without troubles, but halfway through the banquet, he noticed his wife was in a precarious situation. His worries heightened instantly and his mood in chaotic disarray.

Seraphina Rissel stood in front of his beloved wife, and the people circled around them kept their mouths shut and watched in curious silence. The House of Rissel’s daughter had been crowned queen with the support of the Privy Council, but he quickly denied the suggestion fiercely. Though his action proved effortless. Seraphina Rissel always appeared in front of him using coincidence as the pretense with means to grow closer to him and become his wife and queen.

‘That damn woman,’ Igor cursed inwardly.

As he moved a step forward and made way towards Rihannan, Mrs. Cessley suddenly appeared in front of him and blocked his movement.

“Your Majesty, I apologize for my rudeness, but why not leave Her Majesty to tend to the matter?” 

“What are you talking about?” Igor asked angrily.

“It looks like Miss Seraphina came to Her Majesty with mischievous intent. She intentionally brought up the topic of the Queen who’d been brought to Arundell as a hostage. She plans to make Her Majesty flustered and make an embarrassing blunder in front of the nobility. Her Majesty won’t fall for it so easily. Please have some patience and wait. Remember that you won’t be able to be by Her Majesty’s side at every moment.”

Igor’s lips parted. Mrs. Cessley’s judgment was right. Though he could show his love and affection for her as queen, it’ll not prevent those who loathed her existence. It was Rihannan who’ll need to form connections and relationships herself. We’re he to step in and rebuke Seraphina Rissel, Rihannan would escape the current trouble, but she’ll have difficulties building her own dignity.

As Igor and Mrs. Cessley kept close watch, Duke Rissel immediately intervened and berated his daughter whose face became pale as sheer. The uncomfortable air and discourse occurring in the ballroom ended with Seraphina Rissel kneeling down in front of the queen and apologizing for her mistake.

The nobles present soon realized at that moment that Rihannan was not someone to easily mess with.

Igor believed the issue had been solved, but perhaps he was wrong.

“Please tell me… did she threaten you in any way, warning you to stay away from me and keep a distance?” He asked, voice tinged with furious anger.

Rihannan hurriedly shook her head. “No. She did not. It was me. I told her to be careful of her words.”

Igor sighed and let out a sound of admiration different from his early frenzy. Rihannan was unable to speak out a word in the past, but now she had come a long way.

“If that isn’t the case, then… why did you tell me to embrace other women?”

“…Because… I don’t wish to become miserable, Igor. I don’t want another thing like this to happen in the future. I believe you’d soon grow tired of me and I thought that if that was the case, it was better to give you permission. I’d at least be able to keep my dignity intact.”