Chapter 134 - 133: Huh! Why Is It a Little Wet?

Chapter 134: Chapter 133: Huh! Why Is It a Little Wet?

’Fish? How did we suddenly get on the topic of fish?’

"We eat it, why? We’re not like Monks; we don’t have any dietary restrictions," Shouyangzi replied, completely off his guard.

"Hehe, that’s good." He Xiaotian put away his hammer, gave him a small smile, and took a fish frozen in a block of ice from his storage space.

Standing outside the door, Daoxuan trembled when he saw the fish in He Xiaotian’s hand.

’If I’m not mistaken, isn’t that the legendary happy fish?’

Without a moment’s hesitation, he turned and bolted.

He looked like he’d just seen some terrifying Demon King.

Shouyangzi was utterly confused. ’Does this mean X wants to make peace? Forgive me?’

A cyan flame ignited in He Xiaotian’s right hand, instantly evaporating the ice and cooking the oil fish in the process.

He shot out his left hand, grabbed Shouyangzi’s chin, and forcefully shoved the fish into his mouth.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Even though the old Daoist was a cultivator, he didn’t have time to react.

GULP! GULP!

Once the oil fish was swallowed, He Xiaotian released his left hand and moved his palm toward the old man’s stomach.

His Inner Strength penetrated Shouyangzi’s body, and with his microscopic control, he made the cooked fish dissolve rapidly.

"Ahem, what did you do to me?"

"I fed you fish!"

He Xiaotian’s answer almost made Shouyangzi faint from anger. ’Who the hell eats fish like that?’

’You think this is some Capital City roast duck that you can just force-feed me?!’

"Your methods were crude, but I have to say, the fish tasted quite fresh. It’s a shame I had to swallow it so quickly I couldn’t savor it."

"Of course. The taste of oil fish is one of a kind."

Shouyangzi: "..."

’What did you just say?’

He Xiaotian saw the old Daoist’s look of disbelief and grinned. "You heard me right. It’s oil fish. After you eat it, you’ll be very happy."

’Happy my ass!!’

A few days ago, after that conversation that had completely overturned his worldview, Shouyangzi had secretly used his phone to look up "oil fish."

The results had made him cry out to the Supreme Celestial Venerable.

’How could such a shameless fish exist in this world?’

’And today, you’re telling me you fed me oil fish?’

’And I’m supposed to be happy?’

Recalling what a certain someone had said—that there’s nothing wrong with a man being a little perverted...

Shouyangzi subconsciously clutched his butt, posturing as if he would protect his "chrysanthemum" with his life.

"X, I admit it was my fault for trying to scam you. But you can’t... you can’t get revenge on me like this! I have been a member of this temple for years and have kept my body pure." To this day, there were no laws in Hua Country regarding the punishment for a man who forced himself on another man.

In his view, the fact that He Xiaotian hadn’t killed him immediately proved that he still had some rationality.

After all, the relevant departments held a zero-tolerance policy toward crimes committed by extraordinary individuals—they would eliminate anyone who broke the law.

At most, He Xiaotian would just give him a brutal beating.

But after being fed the fish, he changed his mind.

This was blatant retaliation!

"Relax, I have no interest in your chrysanthemum. Alright, the punishment is complete. Now, let’s discuss the matter of compensation."

’I’ll be f—’

Shouyangzi nearly coughed up a mouthful of blood.

’It’s bad enough you fed me that fish, but now you want compensation?’

’You might as well just ascend to heaven while you’re at it!’

Who was He Xiaotian?

He was someone who dared to extort even the deputy director of the Cleaners.

A mere Shouyangzi? He had him right where he wanted him today!

’Besides, I’m the one in the right here!’

’Just now, you personally admitted to forgiving me for writing that IOU.’

"As the person in charge of the Divine Void Temple, you must have a lot of good stuff on hand, right? I’m not greedy. Just casually hand over a few hundred items, and we’ll call it even."

PFFT!

That one hit deep.

’Casually hand over a few hundred items?’

’If I could actually do that, would I have needed to scam you out of your Spiritual Energy Crystals?’

"Old Yang, don’t say I’m being unfair. You tried to scam me first, so it’s not too much for me to ask for a little compensation for my emotional distress, is it?"

"It’s not," Shouyangzi said with a bitter smile. How did he end up running into a combination of a reckless youth and a brute?

He reached into his Daoist robe with his right hand, fumbled around for a moment, and then pulled out three yellowed pieces of talisman paper, handing them over.

He Xiaotian took them instinctively, then stared blankly at the bizarre, ancient seal script on the paper.

’What the hell is this?!’

"Don’t look down on my Talismans; these are all good things. You could say they’re the only valuables I have left. These three Talismans are the Water-Repelling, Vajra, and Essence Protection Talismans, respectively. They were drawn by my senior brother, the Diviner.

The Water-Repelling Talisman needs to be worn. Fold it into a Bagua shape and carry it on your person. Then, as long as the power within the Talisman doesn’t dissipate, you’ll be able to ignore rivers, lakes, and seas, just like a merman. But you need to pay attention to the time; it can last for half an hour in the water at most.

The Vajra Talisman is applied by sticking it directly onto your body. For a quarter of an hour, your whole body will be as if forged from refined steel, impenetrable to blades and spears. Your strength will also increase; smashing a marble slab with one punch will be no problem.

As for the Essence Protection Talisman... all men understand this one. You have to consume it. First, burn the Talisman to ash in a bowl, then add water. After the ash settles and the water clears, drink it. I guarantee you’ll be able to fight in bed for twelve hours straight. You’ll have them calling you ’daddy’."

"..."

’What kind of Daoist are you?’

’How do you even have such a wicked Talisman?’

’Nope. I’ll have to confiscate this.’

He Xiaotian nonchalantly placed the three pieces of talisman paper into his storage space and turned to leave.

’The debt is cleared, and I’ve gotten my compensation. What’s the point of staying here?’

Shouyangzi watched his retreating back and smiled faintly.

’He might be strong, but in front of an old hand like me, he’s still just a youngster.’

’When I left the mountain for Shanghai, I stole a whole box of Talismans from my senior brother.’

’If it weren’t for...’

’Sigh! If I could just sell these Talismans, I would’ve been rich long ago. Why would I need to scam people?’

’Getting rid of He Xiaotian with just three pieces of talisman paper? What a bargain!’

He didn’t know that He Xiaotian was thinking he had just taken a shot in the dark.

’And Shouyangzi fell for it, actually giving him compensation.’

Both of them were black-hearted bastards; neither was a good person.

No, strictly speaking, He Xiaotian was much better than the old Daoist.

He used his own strength to make money, while Shouyangzi used the reputation of the Daoist Alliance to scam money from others.

’Wait, why is my butt wet?’

Shouyangzi subconsciously wiped his backside, and his face instantly darkened.

Because his right hand was covered in something dark and oily.

"X, damn you to hell!!"

Then, his face darkened for another reason.

Because, at some point, He Xiaotian had returned.

"Old Yang, I thought about it and I’m still a little pissed, so I’ve decided to give you a beating."

"No, don’t, wait a minute, listen to me expl—"

BANG!

Before he could finish, his right eye turned black and blue.

"Ouch!"

BANG!

This time he couldn’t speak. His left eye really hurt.

BAM! CRASH! POW!

The side hall was practically smoking from the fight. Not only that, but some black, oily "ink" had splattered out. Who knows what that stuff was.

He Xiaotian pushed the door open and walked down the mountain, looking refreshed and invigorated.

He left behind only Shouyangzi, clutching his butt with a bruised and swollen face, and the blackened ground beneath him.

"Dammah! Whad did I, thish ol’ Daoisht, do in my pash life to desherve thish? Hiss! It really hursh!"

The old Daoist got up, preparing to apply some medicinal wine for his bruises.

But as soon as he took a step, he tripped and fell to the ground with a THUD.

PFFFT!

The fall left him dizzy and disoriented, and he couldn’t hold back a wet fart.

And so, more black liquid pooled on the floor.

"Ahhhhh, X! I’m gonna kill you!"

He Xiaotian couldn’t hear the old Daoist’s cries of anguish. After descending the mountain, he headed straight for Moon Lake.

He planned to rent a medium-sized boat, get away from the crowds, and spend the night on the lake.

’Even if another being like Mr. Men pops up, at least it won’t affect any innocent bystanders, right?’

Moon Lake had a place that specialized in boat rentals. The prices weren’t cheap, but they were still affordable for the average person.

He spent a few thousand yuan to rent a medium-sized boat and drove it directly to the center of the lake before stopping.

Then, in a room inside the boat’s cabin, he opened the black briefcase, revealing five hundred Spiritual Energy Crystals.

[Ding! Absorbable Experience Points detected. Would you like to convert them?]

"Hehe, Nine Yang Divine Skill, here I come! Convert! Convert them all."