Novel Full Chapter 1238: Mercy And Rest
Chapter 1238: Mercy And Rest
Each blow was a memory.
Each strike carried the weight of what he’d become.
The satisfaction of his first death—Death Angel—had mattered at the time. It felt necessary, like he was saving himself from the monster. Noble, even. But looking back now, Northern couldn’t shake the suspicion that he’d manipulated himself into feeling that way.
’Made it easier to sleep at night, probably.’
Actually, not a suspicion. He had done exactly that.
The dark pleasure that came afterward, though? That was harder to justify. The way he watched monsters—and yes, humans too—burning in black flame. The satisfaction was real. Addictive, even. With Black Lance, the pleasure turned macabre, twisted into something he couldn’t quite name but recognized all the same.
’You enjoyed it. Just admit it.’
Each death resurfaced now in agonizing clarity, the mist showing him what he’d refused to see. They had been the victims, not him. They had suffered, not him. He wielded all the power yet acted victimized, as if anyone could actually threaten him. As if he’d ever truly been close to death.
Had he? Really?
The memories forced him to confront something he’d never said aloud: there had been a moment—a specific, crystalline moment—when he realized his power meant he never had to compromise again.
Not with anyone. Not about anything.
The times he’d thought “I could kill everyone in this room if I wanted to” and felt not horror at the idea, but curiosity. Clinical interest in whether he’d actually do it. How easy it would be.
Every time he’d chosen overwhelming force when lesser force would have worked—not because it was necessary, but because it was easier. More definitive.
Because he could.
Northern fell to his knees.
The other Northern—his reflection, his truth, his accusation—crouched beside him.
“You came here to save Alystren because you don’t want anyone else to judge him,” the reflection whispered. “But the real reason? You don’t trust anyone else to be as ruthless as you are when it matters. You want to keep him for yourself because you know that when the time comes, you’ll do what needs to be done without hesitation, without mercy, without the weakness of compassion getting in the way.”
[Analysis: 3 seconds remaining]
“You’re not fighting for justice.” The other Northern’s voice was soft, almost pitying. “You’re fighting for control. Because being weak once was so traumatic that you’ve built an entire personality around never, ever being vulnerable again—even if that means becoming something that should terrify you.”
Northern looked up at his own face.
Then laughed.
He laughed for a while, the sound echoing strangely in the mist. Not hysterical. Just… tired. And maybe a little bitter.
When he finally spoke, his voice was raw:
“You’re wrong.”
The other Northern blinked.
“You have no idea…” Northern continued, still on his knees but his eyes hardening. ’Though you almost had me there for a second.’ “Perhaps I’ve deluded myself at some point—made things easier to live with. But I never lied to myself. Not about the important things, at least.”
He paused, choosing his words carefully.
“Victimized myself? That sounds pathetic. Weak.” A short laugh. “But here’s the thing—I am pathetic. Pathetic as hell. So pathetic that even with all this power committed into my hands, I still flunk it uselessly. So pathetic that I still stoop to crude methods despite having better options available. I fight with surface comfort, never truly exploring what I’m capable of…”
’Laziness. Pure laziness.’
“…laziness has consumed every fragment of me. But look here, fake—I never stopped trying to survive. And look at where that’s gotten me.”
He stood slowly, joints protesting.
“I know that I’m not a good person—at least, not in the way stories define good.” His voice grew steadier with each word. “I know that my conscience is convenient. That my morality is selective. That my restraint is a choice I could stop making at any moment.”
The other Northern’s smile began to fade.
“I know,” Northern said, stronger now, “that I’m one bad day away from becoming exactly what you’re accusing me of being. That the line between ’protective’ and ’monstrous’ is thinner than I want to admit. That it would be so easy…”
’So terrifyingly easy.’
[Analysis Complete]
[Mist Structure Mapped]
[Ready for Unnaming]
Northern looked at his reflection—his supposed truth, his darkest possibility—and smiled.
But it wasn’t the cold smile. Wasn’t the cruel one.
It was something more honest. More real.
“But you know what the difference is?” he asked quietly. “Between accepting what I am and becoming a monster?”
The other Northern said nothing.
“I choose,” Northern said simply. “Every day. Every fight. Every moment someone irritates me or threatens me or gets in my way. I choose not to kill them just because I can. I choose to let people live who don’t deserve death—or who maybe do deserve it, but killing them would be convenient rather than necessary.”
’Choice. That’s all it ever comes down to.’
“I choose to protect people I don’t have to protect.”
He stepped forward. The other Northern—his darkest self, his potential future—took a step back.
“You’re right about one thing, though.” Northern’s voice dropped. “I’m a weapon that learned to think. A creature of violence that learned to talk. But you’re wrong about the important part.”
Northern reached out and grabbed his own reflection by the throat.
“I haven’t just barely convinced myself I have a conscience. I’ve decided to have one. Despite everything. Despite the power. Despite how easy it would be to just… stop pretending. Stop choosing.”
His grip tightened.
“And that decision? It matters. Because I went from that boy who had to survive on chances—on luck and desperation and whatever scraps the world threw his way—to this. To someone who *creates* the chances. I gained the power of choice.”
The other Northern began to dissolve, not in pain but in something that looked almost like understanding.
“And do you know the thing about choices?” Northern’s voice softened. “They’re stronger than nature. Stronger than instinct. Stronger than what you are.”
He paused, making sure the reflection heard this part:
“I know what I’m capable of. I’ve seen it. I’ve been it. And every single day, I wake up and decide not to become that completely. Not because I’m forced to. Not because I’m weak. But because I choose something harder than violence.”
The reflection smiled—genuinely this time.
“Good answer.”
It vanished.
The mist around him began to clarify, its structure suddenly visible. Northern could see it now—the constellation threads woven through everything, the essence bindings, the accumulated weight of eight centuries of violence reflected and stored and amplified.
’So that’s how you work.’
[Name Mastery: Unnaming – Level 1]
“You are the Crimson Veil,” Northern said, his voice carrying through the dissolving nightmare. “The Eternal Prison. The Mirror of Sin. You have names—names given by those who fear you. Names that give you power, definition, purpose.”
His hand began to glow with dark light.
“But you’re not nature. You’re not divine will.” He reached toward the essence of the mist itself. “You’re just pain, accumulated and reflected until it became self-sustaining. Just violence that forgot how to stop.”
Northern’s fingers touched something that shouldn’t exist—the conceptual foundation of the phenomenon itself.
“I remove your names. I remove your purpose. I remove your right to exist.”
The mist shuddered.
For eight hundred years, it had been something. A phenomenon. A defense mechanism. A punishment system. An inevitability.
Northern erased that identity.
Not with force. With understanding.
“You were trauma made manifest,” he said calmly as the red began to fade from existence. “But trauma doesn’t get to be eternal. Pain doesn’t get to be immortal. And violence—even reflected, even justified, even systematic—doesn’t get to last forever.”
The trapped souls began to fade—not destroyed, but released. Finally, mercifully allowed to end.
’Rest. You’ve earned it.’
Then he found them: Alystren and the elf, both frozen mid-scream, locked in whatever private hells the mist had crafted for them.
[Oblivion’s Mark: Absolute Lock – Release]
Their prisons shattered like glass.
They collapsed immediately, gasping, shaking, alive.
Free.
“Everything ends,” Northern said softly, more to himself than to them. “Even eternal punishment. Even divine design. Even the consequences of eight hundred years of collected violence.”
He looked at his hands—the hands that could destroy, that had destroyed, that would inevitably destroy again when the situation demanded it.
’These hands. These cursed, useful hands.’
“But it ends because I choose to end it.” His voice was barely a whisper now. “Not because I’m strong enough to ignore the rules. Because I’m willing to face what I am and choose to be better anyway.”
The mist was almost gone now, dissolving into nothing like morning fog under sunlight.
Northern turned back toward the hall, carrying Alystren over one shoulder, the elf tucked under his other arm. Neither was in any condition to walk.
’You’re welcome, by the way.’
Behind him, the Crimson Veil dissolved into absolute nothing—not with thunder or fire or the dramatic fanfare such phenomena usually demanded.
Just the quiet dignity of something that had finally, after eight centuries, been allowed to rest.