Chapter 55: Did You Dope Them Up?

On a gray mound of dirt, a kobold peeked around carefully, nose sniffing in every direction. The labyrinthine Nest was thick with goblin stench everywhere, and this kobold's heart was full of dread.

Roughly ten days ago, a pack of goblins had shown up in this usually peaceful Spider Nest. At first, the goblins were subterranean spider food — and they came delivering themselves in teams like they'd gone insane.

The kobold tribe living in the Nest had profited handsomely off this. But the good times were short: within days, prey and predator swapped roles. The subterranean spiders suffered annihilation, their numbers in free fall, and the goblins pushed deeper into the Nest, steadily encroaching on the kobold tribe's way of life.

Worst of all: the kobold tribe didn't have enough food!

What happened after that, this young kobold didn't know. All he knew was that the chief left, the elders left, all the strong warriors left — and never came back.

Now the young kobold had to shoulder the duty of the hunt himself. His prey: those very goblins!

Not once did the young kobold ponder the crucial question of why the chief, elders, and warriors had never come back — kobolds simply don't have the IQ for questions that complex.

The young kobold soon spotted a goblin. Look — a lone goblin! Pop the head off and it's mealtime!

The young kobold crept toward the lone goblin. The goblin had a couple of strange green glyphs hovering over his head, wore armor, even had greaves — but no matter. One solid whack of the club on that unguarded back of his skull, and he'd be out cold for sure!

The young kobold was brimming with confidence, his sprint accelerating — until something snagged his leg and, "THUD," he slammed face-first into the ground.

The young kobold's head swam; he couldn't get up for a good while. Goblin voices drifted into his ears:

"Damn, the traps actually WORK!"

"The NPC freedom in this game is off the charts — I gotta go hype this up on the forums."

The kobold howled, trying to scramble up, but felt himself flipped over — then a cold flash at his neck, and his throat quit making sound. His fading eyes caught three goblins staring down at him, the picture slowly blurring out...

One precise stroke of 【Arthur】's sword finished off the kobold that had been setting up a sneak kill on him. Beside him, 【xX_ShadowBlade_Xx】 and 【Sylvana】, once they'd confirmed the kobold had stopped breathing, crouched down and patted around for loot.

"Nothing dropped. Brutal. Would it kill the game to cough up a few coppers?..."

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx sighed, deeply disappointed.

"We'd be better off farming spiders — at least the mats trade for cash and rep, and you can enhance gear with them."

Sylvana was just as let down, and said:

"We've been camping this spot a whole hour and ONE kobold showed. If we don't keep pushing deeper into the Nest, there probably won't be any more spiders to find."

"Hell no — just the three of us going deeper is a guaranteed way to get lost. You know how hard I grinded to get all my gear to +4? We all die, I lose my gear. Nope, nope. Next time we put a big group together and push in, way safer. Find the Spider Queen early, down the boss, and I bet we unlock the new story and quests."

An unapproved copy appears here, taken from NovelPhoenix, where the author's chapter is posted and reading supports their work.

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx waved it off and went on:

"Headed back, headed back. I've got a thread to post — logging off after this."

Sylvana and Arthur had no objections, and the three of them set off back toward the dungeon.

The players had long since filled the Spider Nest with signposts and markers, and had even cleared out a fairly big open space to use as a stronghold.

"Stronghold," of course, was just the players' own in-group term — a place to bolt to when things got dicey or when they needed an emergency log-off, where, with a bit of luck, they might run into other players resting there and watch each other's backs.

Couldn't be helped — Dungeon: The Eternal Kingdom was a VR MMO with extreme freedom. Step outside the Eternal Kingdom's sphere of influence, and there was, strictly speaking, no safe zone anywhere in the game.

Even this stronghold concept had been tossed out offhandedly by one beta tester, promoted with a post on the forums, and picked up by the other players in-game almost immediately — with only a hundred people in the beta, any consensus came fast.

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx, Arthur, and Sylvana couldn't even be bothered with the kobold corpse — after all, Locke didn't buy those back — and the three were about to head home to the dungeon.

But just as they turned to leave, a stir came from behind them: the kobold they'd downed was shakily, impossibly, standing back up!

And its eyes flickered with green light.

"What the hell?"

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx was completely lost.

"I don't know, I'm kinda scared..."

Sylvana shrank in on herself and scooted closer to Arthur.

"Damn, you basement-dwelling nerd — quit playing fake e-girl. You're a whole whale, for crying out loud. Take notes from Arthur and act cold and aloof for once."

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx looked at Sylvana like this was top-shelf comedy. Sylvana instantly went off:

"When have I EVER played fake? I'm literally a Gen Z girl — you calling me a liar?!"

"Like I'd believe a word of that!"

"One more word out of you and I swear I'll end you — you're wrecking my ladylike image in front of big brother Arthur."

"Damn, I'm about to puke up last night's dinner. Arthur, if I were you, I couldn't take it — one clean swing, off with the goblin's head."

While xX_ShadowBlade_Xx and Sylvana flanked Arthur left and right, trading insults over his head, the kobold was already charging.

"It's THAT fast?!"

Watching the kobold bear down on them — faster than before, even — xX_ShadowBlade_Xx hurriedly raised shield and short sword. Years of gamer instinct screamed at him: something's off. This kobold mob was NOT like the regular ones!

He was still setting his stance when Arthur was already off, flashing Kramo's short sword up all cool and thrusting it clean through the kobold's body. The kobold shrugged it off like nothing, hefted the club in its hand, and smashed it straight down on Arthur's forehead.

"Arthur—!"

Watching Arthur crumple, Sylvana let out a scream straight out of a teen romance drama — except through goblin vocal cords it came out like a pig being slaughtered.

Sylvana snatched up her short bow, nocked an arrow, and drew — one fluid motion.

"Thwip!" An arrow streaked at the revived, standing kobold — and thunked into Arthur's face.

The short sword, armor, and greaves on Arthur's body flickered once and vanished, leaving Arthur in nothing but his shorts — arrow sticking out of his face, sprawled flat on his back at the kobold's feet, not moving.

He was, quite obviously, dead.

"Damn it, you're trying to kill me — hahahaha!"

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx collapsed to the ground, rolling side to side, howling with laughter.

Then Sylvana gave xX_ShadowBlade_Xx a kick, stowed the short bow, swapped to her short sword, and charged the revived kobold.

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx laughed a while longer, then charged in after her.

The two of them flanked the kobold, hacking in shifts — you a slash, me a slash. Fast as it now was, players who were braced for it had no trouble reacting, and soon the wound-covered kobold hit the dirt once again.

But the moment it dropped, the old bones and skeletons the subterranean spiders had left lying around began standing up one by one — the same green light flaring in their eyes.

"What the hell? Mobs spawning?"

"Damn, that's WAY too many — run first, figure it out later!"

xX_ShadowBlade_Xx and Sylvana grabbed Arthur and bolted — then xX_ShadowBlade_Xx, two steps out, doubled back to haul the kobold corpse along too.

"I'm dead — Arthur just got arrowed to death by you, you dumb nerd."

"Damn it! It's not like I did it on purpose!"

"He is gonna cuss you into next week when he's back, bet on it! Hahahaha!"

"Big brother Arthur would NEVER yell at me!"

The two players bickered on, laughter woven through the noise, as they faded into the distance.

Once the players were gone, Professor Bacon — who'd been steering the undead soldiers from a corner while observing in secret — turned, dead serious, to Sharlock, who'd been watching right beside him, and asked:

"Lord Sharlock, did you... dope these goblins up?"

"No, no, no. Why would I ever use combat drugs on them? I simply put them through some basic combat training. Truth is, goblins have decent fight in them if you train them right."

Sharlock shook his head as he said it.

"That's not what I meant. I mean..." Professor Bacon marshaled his words: "They watched my undead warriors rise up with their own eyes and weren't scared for a second. Then they shot their own buddy dead, and strolled off dragging his corpse AND my undead warrior's corpse, chatting and giggling the whole way? Are they high out of their minds?"