Chapter 25: Goals

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I spent the last day of that week getting turned down by nobles. House Marchetti’s heir heard the words "commoner scholarship" and started walking before I finished the sentence. A Baron’s son from the Noble Course wanted to know what my family could offer his, and I said "goodwill," and he laughed. One second-year girl said yes, actually said yes, and then it turned out her house had been in Provisional Standing for six years over a tax thing.

By mid-afternoon I was crouched behind the arms pavilion with my hands on my knees, dry-heaving into a flowerbed.

Nothing came up. I hadn’t eaten. It was just my body volunteering an opinion about the situation.

[Three hours. Three hours and I have a slip with my own stupid name on it and nothing for Lily, and if she doesn’t enter she doesn’t win, and if she doesn’t win there’s no Benediction, and if there’s no Benediction then in four years the sky opens up and everybody I’ve been having a lovely time with gets turned into a smear.]

I spat into the flowers.

[Okay. Okay. Forgery. Can I forge a house sigil? No. They’re made with mana, I wrote that. Why did I write that? Because it was cool. Everything wrong with my life is because something was cool.]

"Mutt."

I stood up too fast and got a head rush.

Serena was standing at the corner of the pavilion with her arms crossed, uniform immaculate, watching me have my moment in the dirt.

"Walk with me," she said. "I want to speak with you."

[Oh good. Perfect timing. My skull is one inch from a hydrangea and here’s the woman I can’t form sentences around.]

She took us out past the training yards to the low wall that runs along the east side of the grounds, where nobody goes because there’s nothing there. She stopped, looked at the horizon for a bit, and then turned around.

It took me a second to identify it. She was smiling.

"Kohaku," she said.

[SHE USED MY NAME... Kinda hot.]

"I’ve been considering the events of the exam," Serena went on. "You ignored a recall order and ran toward a Warden for the sake of a girl you had known for one week. It was reckless, and it was strategically indefensible, and I’ve thought about it every day since, and I’ve concluded that it was also. Well." She got briefly stuck. "Brave. It was brave. You are, in your own idiotic way, an admirable person, and I don’t say that lightly, because I don’t say it at all, normally, to anyone."

"...Thank you?"

"Furthermore." She reached into her coat and produced a folded slip, and my heart stopped. "The Duel Festival is a valuable opportunity for a student of your standing, and it would be a waste for you to miss it over a formality. House Frostfall is prepared to sponsor your entry. I’ve already signed it."

She held it out.

I looked at the slip.

I looked at her face, which was still smiling.

I squinted.

[Something’s up.]

That much was obvious.

[Serena Frostfall is a lot of things. She’s brilliant, she’s hot, but one thing she absolutely is not is sweet. That’s the last word in the dictionary I would reach for. So, her being sweet right now means she wants me in that bracket, and she wants it badly enough to smile. An act that, to her, probably causes physical pain.]

But, whatever she had in mind, it didn’t matter. I had my own objective. And this was the perfect opportunity.

So, without telling her about the slip in my pocket, I said:

"That’s really generous of you," I said, and put my hands behind my back. "Sponsor Lily too and we’ve got a deal."

The smile went away in an instant.

"No."

"Then no thanks."

"... What?"

"I said thank you very much for the offer, and no." I shrugged. "Two of us, or neither of us. Package deal. I’m not doing a tournament without my roommate."

Serena stared at me. Then she started explaining, in the tone people use on animals and small children, that "the Everdawn girl" was a first-year commoner with no formal training who had gotten herself nearly killed at the exam, that entering her into an open bracket against upper-years was closer to negligence than to friendship, and that House Frostfall’s sponsorship was not a thing one haggled over like a fishmonger.

I let her finish. Then I looked at the sun.

"Yeah, that’s fair," I said. "Guess I’ll sit this one out. There’s a bakery in the lower town that does a festival box. I’ll watch from the stands with Lily. Buy her a little flag." I turned to go. "Thanks anyway, Serena. Sincerely, that was a nice speech about me."

I got four steps.

"Wait."

[Ohhhh, gotcha.]

I turned around with my very best neutral face. Serena had her jaw set and was breathing through her nose, glaring hard.

[Ah, there’s the face I know.]

"Fine. Both. I’ll sign for the Everdawn girl."

"You’re an angel."

"Explain something to me. Why are you so determined to put her in a ring where people will hit her?"

[Because in four years she has to survive a god, and she can’t do that without a Divine Gift, and the Gift is nailed to the bottom of this bracket.]

I took both slips out of her hand.

"My goals are beyond your understanding," I said.

"...What does that mean?"

"It means thank you, and I’ll see you at the draw." I turned away. "Don’t be late! There’s doves!"

"There’s what?"

And with that, I left her in her confusion.

I got about halfway across the yard before the good mood cooled off.

[Hang on. That’s two now. Some hooded weirdo pickpockets me in reverse to get me into this tournament, and then the coldest girl in the kingdom rehearses a compliment to get me into the same tournament, on the same day. That’s two separate people who want me in that bracket. Why does anybody want me in that bracket? I lost a fight to a root.]

Well... Whatever.

I kept walking.