I Am This Murim’s Crazy Bitch
Chapter 354: Journey to Naknyeong (7)
“Yeon Pa?”
Qing racked her brain for memories about Yeon Pa.
What came to mind was a grandma with the most vicious, venomous face imaginable. The type who looked like she'd throw water at her daughter-in-law, fling tea at people, flip the dining table, dump soup everywhere, scatter laundry, splash lye — that sort of impression.
And she’d given her the Neungpami-bo, hadn’t she?
The Neungpami-bo was one of those ultimate secret techniques that had already saved Qing’s life several times over.
Even Master Ximen Surin — who normally responded to whatever new skill Qing brought home with “Is that so? Then keep it to yourself, disciple” — had given rare permission for the other disciples to learn this particular life-saving technique.
Well. You know.
It’s not like Yeon Pa had handed over the Neungpami-bo manual saying, “Your sect doesn’t have this, right? Keep it to yourself.”
“Right. My body feels like it’s on fire right now. Let me ask this favor of you.”
“Fine, I’ll take a look first. I’m a doctor, after all. Nobody’s ever called me a quack, no matter where I went.”
“You? You learned medicine?”
Zayu’s expression turned a little suspicious, though to Qing, his pale face made him look barely alive anyway.
“This isn’t the time to stand around. Let’s go.”
“Ah, yes. But, I’d just gone to fetch drinking water, and if I recall, didn’t I spot a stream downhill from the warm rocks?”
“Oh. You’ll get yourself killed drinking random water in the mountains when you're thirsty. You don’t even know which water’s safe, do you?”
That made Zayu pause.
“Are you saying there’s poison in the water?”
“Something like that. Just remember, most water’s safe if you boil it good and hard. I’ve got water with me anyway.”
“It looked as clear as spring water, though.”
“Obviously, if it looks dirty, don’t drink it. Anyway, where’s Yeon Pa?”
“I set up a shelter in the rocks higher up.”
“Your tone. A few more lines like that and you’ll start talking like Her Highness. You can’t exactly roll uphill like you rolled down earlier, can you? Guess I’ll have to carry you.”
“Hmph. You always talk like that. But... Yeon Pa’s condition isn’t good, so I’ll trouble you this once.”
Zayu was no stranger to being carried or held.
Maybe not quite the expert Qing was, but he had his experience.
So he opened his arms, expecting her to hoist him onto her back.
Instead, Qing grabbed him and casually threw him over her shoulder.
“Hmm. My friend, is this how you carry people normally?”
“I’d love to give you a piggyback ride, but I injured my left side. If I tried, I’d faint within two steps.”
See, when you piggyback someone, their legs have to wrap around your sides,
And to ease the burden, they’ve got to grip tightly with those legs.
“You got hurt?”
“It’s been about two weeks? Just grab onto my satchel and hold tight. Don’t go biting your tongue mid-conversation.”
Qing carried Zayu up the mountain.
She scaled a gully steep enough for a person to tumble to their death, and soon enough, a deep crevice in the rocks came into view.
Qing’s presence was so quiet that only once she was inside the crevice did Yeon Pa finally notice the stranger carrying a limp royal on her shoulder.
Yeon Pa’s eyes lit with ghost flames.
Three flame-like spirits with tails spun after each other, the Wheel Eyes — one of the Ten Great Demonic Arts, the Reincarnation Wheel Delusion.
But only for a moment — as soon as that stranger’s delicate voice rang out, the flames flickered out of existence.
“Yeon Pa, how have you been?”
“Hm? Who’s this girl?”
“It’s me, Ximen Qing. Remember? You gave me the Neungpami-bo last time — I’ve been putting it to good use. Thank you.”
Yeon Pa let out a deep sigh of relief.
Relief came first — but as soon as she looked at that disrespectful scene again, the Wheel Eyes lit up faintly once more.
“How dare you sling His Highness over your shoulder like luggage? Have you no sense of propriety, girl? Put him down this instant!”
“Ah, yes.”
And the nagging began.
“You brainless girl! You see His Highness trembling from the cold, and you don’t immediately strip off your coat and give it to him? I heard you’ve reached the pinnacle, yet you’re the one bundled up like a furball while our royal’s freezing?”
Ah. That didn’t occur to me.
Just ‘cause I’m not cold doesn’t mean others aren’t.
“Wait a sec.”
Qing untied her bulging satchel and pulled out a tightly compressed winter coat.
“Here. Flip it inside out so the fur’s on the inside and wear it.”
“Yeon Pa’s in worse shape. Give it to her first—”
“Your Highness, what are you saying? Your body comes first. Hey, Ximen girl, hurry up and put it on him. His Highness can’t even dress himself.”
Zayu had begged Qing to take Yeon Pa to a doctor even while being pursued, saying her condition was dire.
But Yeon Pa, the moment she saw Qing, had insisted on getting Zayu bundled up first.
Qing sighed.
I miss Grandpa... and Master...
“It’s fine. I’ve got more here. Zayu, layer this on, fur side out. There’s plenty of coats for Yeon Pa too.”
Qing started pulling out coat after coat from her satchel, all vacuum-packed.
She’d looted these from the Sect of Divine Maidens’ storage — thinking they’d make good winter supplies for disciples going on errands or shopping trips.
Yeon Pa and Zayu watched, dumbfounded.
What the hell?
Why do you have an endless supply of coats?
Did she pack only coats?
“Girl... Is the Sect of Divine Maidens struggling that badly? You hawking winter coats now?”
“Hah? The Sect’s richer than ever.”
Didn’t the Empress Dowager sell off half the nearby lands to fund our rituals?
Sure, it was a shady, self-serving sale — but she’s royalty, so the nation’s wealth is hers to squander.
Or maybe, since she handed it to me, it’s kind of still royal property?
Either way, the Sect of Divine Maidens wasn’t just rich — they were royalty-level loaded.
Didn’t mean their frugal, ascetic lifestyle changed though.
“Tch tch. I knew you weren’t cut out to be a Daoist girl. Got kicked out, didn’t you? Wasting that martial prowess selling fur coats? You should’ve just stayed with the royal household. Actually, good — better this way.”
“Ma’am, I’m not running a coat business, okay? Anyway, let me look at the wounds. Zayu, step out.”
“Me? My vision’s terrible at night, but I could assist—”
“Out. You just wanna sneak a peek at Yeon Pa’s body?”
“Ah... Right.”
“Foolish girl! Since when does His Highness leave the scene? The laws of the realm—”
“Take care of Yeon Pa.”
Zayu cut off Yeon Pa’s tirade and slipped outside the crevice.
Yeon Pa scowled, visibly displeased.
Qing took her pulse —
Damn, burning up like a furnace.
She’d seemed lively, but—
An arrow in the thigh, one in the shoulder, another in the forearm.
Countless cuts, some already festering with pus — signs of infection setting in.
At least her torso was intact — if not, she’d be dead or dying already.
“Seriously, you’re not in pain? How are you even conscious?”
“Hmph. Should I be lying here groaning like some lowborn, leaving His Highness unattended? But... since when did you learn medicine? I never heard that before.”
“After that. I studied under the Great Langjung — an incredible doctor.”
“That nosy, wandering physician?”
“Not nosy — admirable. Got any Ma-bi-san? Guess you’d have taken it by now if you had. Here, bite this — it’ll hurt.”
Qing shoved a fur scarf between Yeon Pa’s teeth.
But ptooey—
“No need. I’ve endured worse.”
Qing carried basic medical tools now, and had an eye for rare herbs.
She gathered ingredients whenever she could — expensive, sure, but preparation pays off.
The most unprepared bitch under Heaven, Qing thought, snorting at herself.
She cut, squeezed, pulled, stitched.
Face practically pressed to the wounds, Qing worked.
Yeon Pa eyed her suspiciously.
“Your eyes...”
“The shock messed them up. Can’t see much, but if I get real close, I manage. Don’t worry—”
“Who said I was worried? Foolish boar of a girl, risking your body. How’d your eyes get ruined? You staying blind?”
“Hehe, it’s nothing. I’ll be fine in two weeks?”
Harsh words, sure — but she was worrying.
Qing chuckled, grinning wide.
“Don’t laugh. Laughing’s not free.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
How am I supposed to not laugh?
Qing straightened her face and focused on treatment.
Basic wound care, even an experienced wanderer knows that.
But there’s a world of difference between knowing and mastery.
Wanderers slap wounds shut, only to reopen them later —
But proper care, good medicine, that heals for good.
Except... no medicine. Damn.
A martial artist’s Qi can purge poison and heal injuries — but with three steel arrows embedded for so long?
Her body’s burning with toxic fever — her internal energy’s in tatters.
They needed a miracle remedy.
She’d used the Great Rejuvenation Pill already, left one back at the Sect of Divine Maidens.
What was left...
Wait, does this count?
Qing pulled out a medicine pouch —
A keepsake from Wang Cheolgun, bandit chief of the Green Forest Alliance.
She could test it by tasting a speck —
But being from a bandit boss, she always suspected it was people-ground-into-pills kind of medicine.
Still, what choice did she have?
The old lady was dying.
Saving her came first.
Qing scraped off a pinch and licked it.
A cool, refreshing wave of Qi —
Oh, damn, this was good stuff.
Guess even bandits prefer quality medicine — not everything’s made from minced people.
Even they’d choose the Great Rejuvenation Pill over cannibal pills if given the choice.
“Alright, say ah.”
“A miracle tonic? If you have that, you should—mmpf.”
Qing popped the pill into Yeon Pa’s mouth mid-sentence and clamped her jaw shut.
Her tongue lashed, tickling Qing’s palm —
Ugh, just swallow it already.
“Zayu’s a noble, stuffed full of good things every day. What more does he need?”
“Mmph.”
“Lick the rest off my palm. Even billionaires lick the lid clean, they say.”
“Mmph.”
“And having a top-level expert by my side does more good than one miracle pill. Swallow and circulate your Qi.”
Yeon Pa stopped resisting —
She even managed to tuck her arrow-shot leg into lotus position.
Blood spurted from her wounds — unavoidable.
Watching her calm expression, Qing thought,
Yeah... Internal energy’s invincible. Qi treatment’s divine.
Yeon Pa’s eyes closed, settling into energy circulation.
Qing slipped outside.
Zayu was blowing warm air into his hands, eyes wide with concern.
“How is she? Will she be alright?”
“Six months? No... given her level, three? But she’s older, so let’s say six. But only if she rests properly.”
“Hmph.”
“What happened, anyway?”
“We were headed to the Grand Prince Dexian’s southern manor. Suddenly, arrows pierced the carriage — chaos. I barely recall much. Next thing I knew, Yeon Pa was beside me, dying.”
“What about the others? That... old man?”
“You mean Master Gyeon?”
Well, yeah. You can’t call a respected elder Old Dog.
“It was covert — small group only.”
“Even with skilled guards?”
“They’re all refugees, hiding in the Grand Prince’s household. They can’t roam freely. The most stubborn ones, I couldn’t stop them... But now, only Yeon Pa’s by my side.”
Zayu’s voice grew heavy —
Even without seeing his face, Qing knew the look he wore.
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