I Am This Murim’s Crazy Bitch
Chapter 317: After the Fire (2)
“Old man, you’re leaving already? Let’s eat lunch together.”
“You’re leaving too, aren’t you? We’ll see each other again in Zaguixian anyway, so quit acting sentimental. It doesn’t suit you.”
Cheong was planning to eat lunch, swing by the Zhongnan Sect, and then head straight for Hubei.
She figured she’d stop by Mount Wudang on the way, then head home.
Choe Riong, because of her background, felt awkward visiting the Zhongnan Sect.
So instead, she’d deliver the young lady from Jangheung Guild to Naknyeong.
And the people of Naknyeong—what kind of people were they?
The kind who’d throw stones with a child hoisted on their shoulders—creative and vicious beyond belief.
And now, tossing their city’s enemy straight into their midst?
No one could even begin to imagine what kind of torment she’d face.
The only thing certain was—killing her now would be far more merciful.
But why bother?
There was no reason to show mercy.
Let her die on her own—painfully.
As for that bastard Seol, current name Seol Iri, he’d said he had business in Xi’an and wouldn’t be returning until it was done.
“Hm. Seol—tell me, have you taken a liking to crossdressing lately? Of course, I believe in respecting people’s hobbies. Sure. You’re finally looking pretty, so I get it—you’d want to dress up and all.”
Seol Iri’s face twisted at that.
“I’ve got no such hobby.”
“Come on. You say that, but...”
Cheong pointed {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} to his chest.
He had something stuffed in there, giving it a noticeable bulge.
Dressed as a woman with fake breasts in place—anyone who saw him would think this was a sharp-featured, striking beauty.
“I told you—I’m working.”
“No, seriously. What kind of job requires crossdressing?”
“A seduction job. When you’re in business, you sometimes have to get your hands dirty.”
“...That’s not exactly something to say out loud with pride, you know.”
Cheong muttered bitterly.
So he was fluttering his lashes at some guy like this?
This was Seol, for heaven’s sake—also known as the greatest mind in Shaanxi Province.
It wasn’t that it didn’t suit him—he actually pulled it off disturbingly well.
But... what a waste of a brain?
“So? Do you flutter your lashes and act all cutesy too? Can I see?”
“A proper seduction job should make the target beg—grovel and cling.
If the woman comes on first, acting all flirtatious, the man gets bored fast and loses interest.”
“Oh. So you’re playing the cold, aloof beauty?”
“I’m doing my best to imitate one.”
That explains it.
No wonder he kept disappearing, always with some “job” or another.
He’d been stringing some poor bastard along all this time.
And Cheong—only finding out about it now—was reeling.
They were about to part ways after lunch, and only now he said this?
She felt deeply betrayed.
“Why are you only telling me this now? If I’d known, I would’ve gone to watch!”
“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you.”
“Oh, so you are embarrassed, after all?”
“That’s not it. But if you showed up while I was working my strategy, it’d all fall apart, wouldn’t it?
Especially with Gunyung tagging along.”
If two of the Six Freaks of the Martial World showed up as spectators,
Seol Iri would go from “handsome beauty” to just “handsome person” real fast.
Cheong accepted that explanation.
And then something came to mind—something worth asking a sharp brain like his.
“Oh, right. About Iri. They say she never learned the Ice and White Divine Art.”
“That’s right. That was her name—Iri.”
Seol grinned sourly.
“The Ice Palace bastards haven’t changed. After Gunyung, now it’s ‘Iri,’ huh?”
“‘Iri’?”
“Well, they couldn’t just call a direct-line successor a bitch or a mongrel, so they settled on something ‘inoffensive.’
You can just picture them snickering to themselves while naming her.”
“What the hell’s wrong with those people?”
“I wouldn’t say they’re especially rotten compared to the Central Plains.
Here or there, bastards born out of wedlock are treated like trash—worse than servant dogs.
They just happen to say it out loud.”
“That’s already horrific enough...”
“Yeah, but don’t pretend it’s different here.
If you ever run into an illegitimate child from the Central Plains, ask them.
Here, they storm off in fury.
In the North Sea? Suicide.”
“...Suicide?”
“It takes so much food and resources just to leave that place.
Do you know how much it costs to hitch a dog sled once?
So they can’t run. They just get beaten and worked like slaves—nowhere to escape.
And that’s just the start.”
“That’s genuinely monstrous.”
“Well. That’s why you should be nice to Gunyung.”
“I’m already the nicest I can possibly be.”
“So I’ve noticed.”
Seol gave her a strangely warm look.
“Right, you asked about the Divine Art, didn’t you? Well, it’s because she’s a bastard, isn’t it?”
“But she still learned the Ice and White Divine Palm, didn’t she?
How can they treat her like trash after that? What if she gets pissed and unleashes the technique on the Central Plains?”
“Say you’re raising a dog. It’s a mutt, no pedigree.
You feed it, clothe it, give it shelter.
And no matter how much you beat it or abuse it, all it does is whimper and wag its tail.
Would you ever expect that dog to bite you?”
“But—”
“In the North Sea, even giving food and shelter is considered mercy.
So bastards are seen as creatures you can use and abuse for fun.
Over time, they convince themselves those mutts can’t possibly hurt them.”
Seol grinned.
Dark and vicious, but satisfied.
“How bad is it?
Even when their disciples start dying one by one, they don’t even think to suspect a bastard like her.”
“So they think she’s a complete fucking joke?”
“Exactly.
And even if she did unleash the technique, it wouldn’t matter.
You can’t learn that martial art just by wanting to.
If you don’t have the North Sea bloodline—what they call ‘ice affinity’—you can’t even begin.”
And that wasn’t all.
Even mastery had a hard cap—determined by one’s blood.
Some maxed out at three stars, some five, some twelve.
But if you went past your natural limit, you’d lose control of the ice essence in your dantian and freeze into a statue.
So if someone had that blood, even if they were a bastard, they were taught the technique—eventually.
After all, that “affinity” was the bloodline.
It all came down to how strongly they’d inherited the blood of the original Ice God, Danohuawu, the first lord of the Ice Palace.
And if the affinity showed, it was proof enough to count them as direct lineage.
“But then what gives? She’s in the direct line, right?
So why aren’t they teaching her?”
“Well, think about it. Who wants to serve under a bastard-born palace lord?
I think it’s one of two things—or maybe both.
Either Gunyung’s potential is terrifying, so they’re trying to keep her in check—
Or they already figured she’d hit her cap at three stars, and decided not to bother.”
“That’s kinda... wait, Iri? You think she’s talented?”
“Of course. That’s what I believe.”
“Then?”
“Well, I’d say one of the current palace lord’s children finally showed some talent.
They’d rather pass the throne to their own kid.”
Cheong paused, thinking it over—
“So, say I hypothetically mastered the Ice and White Divine Art.
Would it be okay to teach Iri and let her learn the full Ice and White Divine Palm?”
“I don’t usually play pointless hypotheticals—
—but if that were the case, I might actually ask you for a favor.”
“Hmph. That’s what I thought.”
Cheong smirked playfully and switched topics.
“So, how’s the seduction job going?”
“Surprisingly well.”
“You’re really okay with toying with a man’s pure feelings like that?”
“He’s the son of the Provincial Commander of Shaanxi.
If you’re curious, go walk the market and ask around.”
In other words—he was worth toying with.
Well, if Seol said so—so be it.
****
That Ice and White Divine Palm—when the dragon burst out of it, it was an absolute explosion of coolness.
Hmm. I want it.
No—I have to have it.
And while we’re at it, that useless waste Seol Iri might become slightly less useless and slightly less of a waste, too.
A classic win-win. Kill two birds with one stone. Mutual benefit.
Of course, it wasn’t because she felt bad for Iri or anything.
But think about it—if she learned one technique, and added another, that would make two purple-framed martial arts instead of one.
Trading that away for a lesser one would mean swapping two for one.
That’s not just a bad deal—that’s daylight robbery.
So, based on cold, objective logic—not emotion—the best use of four thousand virtue points would be to exchange them for the Ice and White Divine Art.
Truly a clear-headed Cheong. Cold Cheong. Cold as ice. Ice Cheong.
And so, Cheong casually brought it up.
“Iri-ya. That Ice and White Divine Palm... if I happened to pick up the Ice and White Divine Art somewhere, would you teach me? We’d trade, one for one.”
“No.”
“...Huh?”
Wait.
She hadn’t expected a “no.”
If the person themselves didn’t want to, there wasn’t much she could do...
Goodbye, my ice dragon.
I wasn’t hoping for a Black Flame Dragon in my left arm or anything, but at least a blue-eyed Ice Dragon would’ve been nice...
But to her surprise, Seol Iri continued speaking.
Yes—the same Seol Iri known for one-word answers, now breaking character with a full sentence.
“You want to learn the Ice and White Divine Palm?”
“Yeah. It looked so cool.”
“If Lady Ximen wants it, I’ll teach you.”
“Wait. You’ll just teach me? Even if I don’t give you the Ice and White Divine Art?”
“Yes. Yes.”
Wait, that was the “no” she meant!?
It wasn’t “no” as in rejection—it was “no need to trade, I’ll just teach you anyway.”
What!? How precious is that!?
Well, of course. After everything she’d done for her.
If you love them, they’ll love you back.
Yes. This is why people raise pets.
“But... you don’t have an ice essence. Even if you did, you wouldn’t be able to withstand it.”
“Well, what about you then? Even if I gave you the incantation for the Ice and White Divine Art, if you don’t have that essence, you can’t learn it either, right?”
“No. I already have an ice essence in my dantian.”
“Oh yeah? Well, then...”
Sit there with your mouth open.
Here comes the Ice and White Divine Art, right down the hatch.
She’d swing by the Zhongnan Sect first, then hand it over on the road.
“Oh, right—by the way. There aren’t any side effects or anything with the Ice and White Divine Art or Palm, right?
I heard Ice-type techniques dull your senses or something—like that Ice... shaved ice... whatever it was.”
“No. Yes.”
No side effects with the Divine Art or Palm.
Yes—Ice techniques in general dull sensation.
Seol Iri answered flatly.
But in truth, this was a historic moment.
Cheong—yes, Cheong—actually asked about side effects before learning a technique.
At long last, she had begun to experience what one might call thinking.
It was a moment of evolution—from a bug reacting purely to stimuli, straight into the ranks of primates.
Even monkeys think.
But until now, she hadn’t.
Still, it was a fleeting thought.
A purple-bordered Divine Art having side effects? As if.
If it did have any, it would’ve been downgraded to gold.
Of course, there were some rare demonic techniques that grew more twisted the more you used them—what they called “Sosu Demon Arts.”
But you could tell by the names of their techniques—they were deliberately made with resentment and malice.
The first technique of the Sosu Demon Art: “Joyfully Laugh as the Bloodline Ends.”
Martial arts, until fully reinterpreted at the peak of mastery, always follow the original mental image they were forged with.
So if the root intent behind a technique was steeped in hatred and viciousness toward the world, its user could never truly escape that influence.
In any case, she was done with her business now.
It was finally time to go see the Sword Wall again.
Thankfully, Mount Zhongnan was just outside Xi’an.
The name said it all: “Zhongnan.”
Back in the Han Dynasty, mountains south of the capital were called “Namsan”—literally, “South Mountain.”
And Xi’an had once been the heart of the Central Plains—the cradle of dynasties.
Which meant this South Mountain was the most proper, the most central—Mount Zhongnan.
So even if you dropped the “Zhong” and just said “Namsan,” anyone from the Central Plains would know you meant Zhongnan.
In fact, it had even been called “Jungnamsan” (Central South Mountain) in the past—because it stood at the center of the world.
Mount Zhongnan was the border.
It split the Central Plains in two—north and south.
So if you finished lunch in Xi’an and took a carriage at a relaxed pace,
you’d arrive at Nugwondae, the main hall of the Zhongnan Sect, just after two shichen.
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