Chapter 1017: Tangerine Caramel — Shanghai Love (8)

“Long live for a thousa—mmph.”

At the booming cry of “Long live for a thousand years” bursting out on the spot, Qing panicked and pressed her foot down on the back of the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician’s head.

“Ah, sorry. You suddenly did that.”

If anyone else saw it, they’d point and call it the behavior of a tyrant.

Naturally, the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician’s heart must have dropped straight into his stomach.

At the same time—no matter what, stepping on the head of an old man who’d lived out his years like this...

“My deepest apologies. This old one lacked sense. Even though Your Highness is traveling incognito, I was so astonished by your august presence that I lost myself for a moment.”

But what could be done?

If he didn’t like it, he should have been born a princess.

And really, getting stepped on at the back of the head was a very cheap price to pay compared to the offense of behaving irreverently before one descended from heaven.

Once the evil qi in the young man’s body had been purified—meaning, once Qing had sucked it all out—he at least looked like a human being again.

The black veins that had bulged and writhed beneath his skin had settled down, and when his eyelids were lifted, the whites of his eyes, which had been completely blackened, had returned to their original pale color.

According to the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician’s pulse reading, aside from having suffered tremendous depletion of vitality, he was otherwise fine, so for now they left him in his disciples’ care.

Then the two of them entered a side room.

“I had already heard through the news of the peace marriage that Your Highness was safe and sound, but now that this old one has seen you so healthy with his own eyes, it feels as though the greatest regret of my life has finally fallen away. Still, please forgive the irreverence of this insignificant one for daring to guess at Your Highness’s august health from a mere brief pulse...”

“No, I mean. How did you know?”

“Your Highness was bedridden with illness—was it not only natural that every famous healer under heaven would step forward to assist the heavens? This old one, who possesses the greatest medical art under heaven, merely followed that natural course.”

Well, of course that had to be true.

Yeonsul had been ill, so naturally they must have summoned every famous physician under heaven. There was no way they wouldn’t have called in the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician, who was known in the age as a Divine Physician.

But—

“My face is different now from back then. You figured it out just from looking?”

“How could some strange sickness possibly conceal Your Highness’s beauty? One cannot hide the sun with one’s hand. A mere heat-rash and bedsores could never have damaged the elegant dignity Your Highness possesses—”

“No, enough flattery.”

Up until just a moment ago the old man had been stiff and obstinate, but now he’d suddenly turned into a supreme court sycophant, rolling his tongue so smoothly it was almost obscene.

God, at this rate it’ll wear out, it’ll wear right out.

Sure, it felt good, but it definitely wasn’t comfortable.

“I’m not a princess anymore, so please just treat me normally. Officially, the Princess Yeonsul who was sent off in the peace marriage is the real Princess Yeonsul, and now I’m just a martial artist. I have nothing to do with the imperial palace anymore.”

“Please withdraw such words. No matter the circumstances, how could a subject of the Central Plains commit such discourtesy toward you? This old one’s heart itself could not withstand even imagining it, so I beg you earnestly.”

Of course, even though the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician said it like that, there was a much more worldly calculation beneath it.

He knew very well how much favor Princess Yeonsul—well, the former Princess Yeonsul now, since she kept insisting she wasn’t one anymore—had once received.

Even if she said she was no longer a princess, that favor wouldn’t simply vanish.

Look at it now—how much must they have cherished her if they’d released her into the wider world by disguising another person as the princess in her place?

“Mm. But I’m not Yeonsul anymore. I’m Seomun Cheong of the Priestess Order Temple now—the one from the martial world, okay? If you keep doing this, it’s honestly kind of burdensome.”

A shocking revelation!

The Heavenly Flower Sword’s true identity was the former Princess Yeonsul!

The Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician’s head spun furiously.

Back in the Forbidden City, they had summoned the Heavenly Flower Sword, praised her, and bestowed the title of young hero—at the time he’d wondered what the imperial family, who used to grind their teeth at the martial world, was plotting.

Meanwhile, Qing could have simply denied it.

She could have said, No, you’re mistaken, you saw wrong. I’m the Heavenly Flower Sword. How could it possibly make sense for a princess to be a Transformation-realm martial artist?

But the reason she didn’t was—

“Anyway, how did you know? Strip out all the grease about beauty and whatever else, and explain it plainly.”

“Well, back then Your Highness truly was in a dreadful state. But could a physician who stayed at your side and took your pulse for so long fail to recognize you? You had already grown to full height at the time, so your build and skeleton are the same. And the shape of your face remains exactly as it was.”

That was the part Qing didn’t understand.

“But even so, don’t I look really different from back then? I’ve learned all sorts of fairy arts too.”

“The effects of fairy arts generally lie in whitening the complexion, refining the lines by managing excess flesh, and correcting slight irregularities in the bone structure. And even if one learns several of them, their effects do not multiply accordingly. There may be some additional effect, of course, but only a very minor one. If it worked otherwise, then every woman in the Central Plains would have learned every kind of fairy art available, and the world would be packed with peerless beauties.”

“But female martial artists really do tend to be unusually pretty.”

“That is because, while the effects of fairy arts are slight, they are passed down from generation to generation. Female martial artists are often daughters of prestigious houses, so the accumulated effects of generations combine and create that result.”

“Huh. Ah, but I even went through rebirth of flesh and bone.”

At that, the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician instead stared at Qing with a puzzled look, then suddenly flinched and lowered his eyes.

“Ahem. Perhaps Your Highness’s beauty had already reached the utmost limit of what a human being could possess, so that even rebirth of flesh and bone had nothing left to improve, and thus you remained as you were.”

The flattery came out so naturally.

“That’s not true. This changed a lot too...”

“When I saw you before, you were merely more rough—ah, ahem, more dignified. But to a physician’s eye, there has hardly been any change at all.”

What?

Hadn’t her face changed a lot?

Back when she was the beggar wretch, sure, she’d been a plague ghost, so that was one thing—but later, even when she was walking around looking human again, even before meeting her master, hadn’t her face been completely different from how it was now?

Back then there hadn’t been a single person wandering left and right just to stare at her face on a regular basis.

Now, if she didn’t wear the face veil, she got so many glances from every direction it was burdensome.

Had she really not changed that much?

People said even a tiny change altered an impression. Small differences make masterpieces. Before makeup, after makeup. That kind of principle?

If so, then it did rather make sense that the Empress had recognized her at once too.

But no...

Back then, every time she looked in a mirror, she had never once felt that sharp, thrilling sense of newness.

Unless, when I got dropped into this quasi-occult fake-Central-Plains world, my appearance score was too low, so my face got kind of warped back then—or no, does that even make sense? Even if a cosmic mystery like a status window is floating around, this is still a world where people live, and if not that, then—

No. No. Good thoughts. Good thoughts...

The stirrings of anxiety were rising up after a very long time, so Qing hurriedly diverted the flow of her thoughts.

Still, true to a great orthodox Taoist demonic master specialized in cultivating the mind, she changed tracks quickly this time instead of having to stuff down a mess of nonsense in silence the way she used to.

Then again, it also makes no sense that I’m this absurdly strong. And it makes no sense that I automatically understand every language in the world.

So what’s the big deal if my face got a little scrambled?

If there are methods to become prettier, like fairy arts or rebirth of flesh and bone, then naturally there could also be methods to become uglier. She didn’t even have to look far for proof—there had been that little Kim brat too, that walking collection of salamander, turtle, and toad features.

“Anyway, please make sure you keep it secret.”

“Of course. This matter will go to my grave—no, beyond my grave. Even before the Heavenly Venerable of Kunlun, I would never speak of it.”

“Kunlun? Did you make some sort of arrangement to skip the underworld and head straight to the immortal realm?”

“Well, Hua Tuo and Bianque are already said to have ascended to the immortal realm and become physician immortals, are they not? In that case, is it not only natural that this old one should become a physician immortal as well?”

Even after greasing his tongue, his pride in being the greatest physician under heaven clearly hadn’t gone anywhere.

That was when—

Knock, knock.

Outside the door stood the silhouette of someone wearing a medical apprentice’s cap.

—Master, the patient has awakened. Will you conduct the questioning yourself?

Normally, diagnostic questioning meant diagnosing the illness in advance by asking the patient questions before treatment.

But in the case of the young man—Jo Ryung, the County Magistrate’s son—he had been conscious, yet because of his severe pain and hallucinations, they had gone straight into percussion-and-unblocking.

The evil qi had been removed, his pulse was normal, and all he had now was depleted energy, so Qing did wonder what the point of questioning him now was.

But then again, Jo Ryung’s symptoms had been something that did not ordinarily exist—a mysterious illness, what they called a bizarre disease.

It might be a new kind of illness, or at least they needed to record what cause had produced symptoms like this.

When they entered the patient’s room, Jo Seong, the County Magistrate, and a woman said to be the patient’s wife were sitting on either side of the bed, clasping his hands tightly.

The moment they saw the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician and Qing enter, they burst out with, “Ah—thank you!” and immediately threw themselves flat in a deep bow.

For a Central Plains official who ought to have been thoroughly worn smooth by the world, it was an awfully simple-hearted sight.

And so the questioning began.

But—

“What? So it wasn’t that you ate something strange? Some rotten elixir, or an unfamiliar spirit herb?”

“No, nothing like that...”

There wasn’t really anything unusual.

No—or should she say there was?

“Um, well. Was it about two months ago? When we built those Dutch people a trading post?”

For the record, when he said “those Dutch people,” it wasn’t really meant as an insult.

Sticking “people” or “tribesmen” onto the end of a country name simply meant barbarians. Central Plains people referred to all foreigners who weren’t from the Central Plains that way, and it was just part of natural grammar even when there was no intention of hatred or insult.

“At the time, this giant serpent showed up—more than one zhang long. So I roasted it and ate it with the laborers. I think that serpent may have been some spirit creature trying to become a dragon. After that, every night when I lay down, I felt like I could hear hissing whispers, like snake sounds...”

“What? You disturbed the feng shui?”

The Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician shot back in disbelief.

For reference, “disturbing the feng shui” was what people in Qing’s hometown would call provoking a taboo and suffering misfortune for it.

It meant causing trouble by offending some sacred prohibition, spirit, or similar being.

Of course, naturally, it was a ridiculous superstition.

“Yes. That’s the only thing that comes to mind...”

“Good grief, you fool. Why would you go around eating whatever you happen to pick up? If a giant serpent appears on the grounds of a residence, you’re supposed to soothe it and send it away carefully.”

Shanghai County Magistrate Jo Seong scolded his son.

And honestly, it was enough to make anyone’s insides burst.

He’d raised his son feeding him every delicious thing without want, and now of all things the boy had gone and eaten a giant serpent he found lying around and disturbed the feng shui?

“But it was so big and well-fleshed, and they said that kind of thing is extremely good for virility. Our family line is thin, so I wanted to borrow at least that much strength if I could...”

At that, Qing quietly nodded.

Mm. Well, virility is a hard thing to resist...

But the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician looked deeply dissatisfied.

“Tch, tch. If catching one giant serpent were enough to get a man killed, half the world would’ve been on the road to the Yellow Springs long ago. Stop spouting nonsense. So you heard hissing in your ears, and then?”

“Then... I started feeling like something was winding itself all around my body, tightening me up. Like a giant serpent was coiling around me. So I even secretly held a shaman ritual, but then I figured it wasn’t enough and was about to tell my father—after that, well... ugh.”

Jo Ryung shuddered.

After that, he had simply hurt and hurt and hurt. Every part of his body ached, there wasn’t a single place that didn’t hurt, to the point that he couldn’t even scream.

Then at some point, he regained his senses and found himself here.

“Hm. Sounds like the serpent really was some sort of spirit creature. Maybe you swallowed some inner core by mistake while roasting it. Even a raw inner core is harmful enough, and yet you swallowed the inner core of a fishy snake? Looks like this whole mess happened because you took in a poison core by mistake.”

“Huh? But giant serpents aren’t venomous, are they?”

“Ah, what a brilliant observation! Quite right! Giant serpents are not venomous! However, spirit creatures are by nature very, very strange, are they not? Snakes are creatures that naturally feed on venomous things and love to burrow through damp, rotten ground. So if one swallowed such a creature’s inner core by mistake, it would not be strange at all for that much vicious evil qi to accumulate.”

The Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician had become markedly more respectful toward Qing.

Jo Seong looked at that oddly, then suddenly realized—

“Ah! In all the confusion, I failed even to ask my benefactor’s name. I, Jo Seong, must greet my benefactor properly once more.”

“We also offer our greetings to our benefactor.”

The County Magistrate and his son’s wife both bowed low again.

“Um, Benefactor, may I ask—”

“Ah, that’s fine. I gained something from the treatment myself anyway. It wasn’t such a difficult task, so you really don’t need to be this formal.”

“Mm. The price really doesn’t balance, then...”

At the side, the Gold-Worshiping Divine Physician started in on his price talk again.

Well, if someone were to take one descended from heaven as their benefactor, then in practice they weren’t really honoring a benefactor at all—they were just grabbing onto a powerful connection. If anything, they’d be receiving more favor in return.

To receive help and then, as repayment, try to receive even more help?

Of course the price didn’t balance.

“But—”

“It’s fine. Just think of it as a passing swordsman lending a hand. If anything, it only means things turned out well because the County Magistrate has virtue in his daily life, doesn’t it?”

“Ahh... thank you! Thank you...!”

And so the whole uproar over the County Magistrate’s son falling ill—the whole “Is there a master in the county?” commotion—seemed to be ending on such a warm and pleasant note.

If there was a lesson to it, it was probably: don’t go shoving random things into your mouth just because someone says they’re good for virility...

...Or rather, it was right then.

Knock, knock.

A servant spoke from outside.

—Um, sir. Those Dutch people have come with one of their goodwill physicians. They say they can treat the young master’s condition. What should we do?