Chapter 146: You Knew for Weeks?

Daemus came home after dark.

Blair heard the front door, then his footsteps. They stopped. There was a long pause, and then the footsteps carried on into the kitchen.

She found him standing in front of the open fridge, still in his practice clothes, his hair damp with sweat. He was eating cold stew straight out of the pot with a spoon.

He glanced at her when she came in. Then he looked back at the pot.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," Blair whispered.

That was all. He kept eating. She stood by the doorway with her arms wrapped around herself and watched him, and the silence stretched out between them.

"How was practice?" she tried.

"Fine."

"Did Coach..."

"He didn’t kick me off." Daemus scraped the bottom of the pot. "So. That’s something."

Blair swallowed. She made herself take a step closer.

"Daemus. About yesterday. I’m sorry." Her voice came out so small it barely made it across the kitchen. "I know it doesn’t make sense. I know I can’t explain it. But I’m sorry."

He was quiet for a moment, then he shrugged.

"Okay," he said.

It didn’t sound okay.

She had a worksheet folded in her pocket. She had written it that afternoon. Ten questions. Same time every night. She had promised.

She took it out and set it on the counter beside the pot.

Daemus looked at it for a long moment. Then he pulled out a stool, sat down, and picked up the pencil she held out to him without a word.

Blair stared at the floor. She should leave it there. She should let him work through the worksheet and try again tomorrow. But she had been carrying too much around in her head for two days, and she couldn’t carry it anymore. Not alone.

"Can I ask you something?" she whispered.

Daemus’s pencil stopped moving. "Yeah."

"Do you know anything..." She twisted her fingers together. "About Killian and Heather?"

Daemus went still.

It was only for a second. Then he turned the pencil over in his fingers, very casually, the way someone did when they were trying very hard to look casual.

"Why?" he asked.

"I saw something." Blair’s heart was pounding. "A transfer form. Heather’s name was on it, from the night of the party. And the ID that authorized it was..." She swallowed. "It was Killian’s."

Daemus didn’t say anything.

He didn’t look surprised.

That was what did it. Blair had expected him to be shocked. To swear, or growl, any other reaction but that. But he just sat there with the pencil in his hand, staring at the worksheet, and his face didn’t change at all.

"Daemus," she whispered. "Did you know?"

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Bunny..."

"Did you know?"

"Yeah." The word came out rough. "Yeah. I knew. I’ve known for weeks. The snake has her."

Blair put one hand on the edge of the counter to steady herself. "Weeks."

"I cashed in a favor. Back when you first asked me to find her." Daemus finally looked at her. "I told you she was alive. That part was true. I just... didn’t tell you the rest."

"Why?"

"Because I know you!" His voice cracked. "You’d have gone after him. You’d have been terrified out of your mind, and you’d have gone anyway, because that’s what you do. You jumped in front of Rain’s fangs for me. You think I don’t know what you’d do for Heather?"

"She’s my friend."

"And Killian would have eaten you alive!"

The words rang off the kitchen walls.

Blair was shaking. Not from fear this time. She had never felt anything like it before, this hot, tight feeling climbing up her throat. She didn’t yell. She didn’t know how. But when she spoke, her voice was quiet and steady, and she didn’t look away from him.

"Every night," she said. "Every night, I lay awake wondering if she was cold. If she was scared. If she was even still breathing. And you knew."

Daemus’s face crumpled. "Blair..."

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Daemus clenched his jaw. "Were you?"

Blair blinked. "What?"

"Were you ever going to tell me?" He set the pencil down on top of the worksheet. "I asked you yesterday, Blair. Is there anyone else. I held the door wide open. I told you I wouldn’t be mad."

The blood drained out of her face.

"I can smell him on you," Daemus said. "Every time. You think I don’t know what my own godfather smells like?"

Blair couldn’t breathe.

"And you looked me right in the eye," he went on, "and you said no."

"That’s..." Her voice cracked. "That’s not the same..."

"How is it not the same?" He was on his feet now. "You’re standing here mad at me for keeping a secret. I kept mine because I was scared you’d get yourself killed. What was yours for, huh?" He spread his hands. "Was it protecting me? Or was it protecting you?"

Blair opened her mouth. Nothing came out.

She didn’t have an answer. That was the worst part. She searched for one, and there was nothing there.

"I don’t even give a fuck that it’s Jack," Daemus said. "I told you. Beasts share. If you’d just told me, I would’ve... I don’t know. Punched him, probably. Then gotten over it." He dragged both hands down his face. "I care that you lied. I care that I had to stand in front of you and watch you do it."

Tears spilled over before she could stop them. She stared at the floor and let them fall.

"You’re being unfair, Blair," he said, quieter now. "You get that, right? You’re being so unfair."

"I know," she whispered.

It came out so small she wasn’t sure he’d heard it. But his shoulders dropped, just a little, the fight going out of them.

The kitchen went quiet.

"Why didn’t you just tell me?" Daemus asked. He sounded so tired. "I would’ve understood. I would’ve understood anything. Because I love you, okay? I love you, and you don’t..."

He stopped.

Blair’s head snapped up.

Daemus was staring at her with his mouth still half open, like he couldn’t believe it had come out of it. His ears had gone flat against his head. His face was bright red.

Neither of them moved.

Blair’s heart was pounding so hard. She had imagined this. Late at night, in secret, she had imagined him saying it.

But she couldn’t say it back. Not now. Not after everything she had been caught doing. It would sound like a bribe. Like one more lie.

So she said nothing at all.

Daemus let out a short, broken laugh. "Great timing," he muttered. "Real smooth, Krelin."

He sat back down on the stool. He picked up the pencil. He pulled the worksheet toward him and stared down at it, blinking hard.

"x plus nine equals fourteen," he read. His voice was thick. He was quiet for a long moment, his lips moving. "Take the nine to the other side. So it’s minus." He looked up at her, just barely. "Five?"

Blair wiped her face with the back of her hand.

"Five," she whispered.

He nodded and wrote it down. Then he moved on to the next one.

After a moment, Blair pulled out the stool across from him and sat. They worked through the rest of the worksheet together, one question at a time, in the quiet kitchen.

Twice, a tear dropped onto the paper, and neither of them mentioned it.

He got seven out of ten.

It was the best he had ever done.

Neither of them smiled.