How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 533
Knock, knock.
"Kanna."
I knocked on Kanna's door after my second shower.
It didn't take long for her to call out, telling me to come in.
I carefully opened the door. Kanna's unassumingly tidy room came into view.
Unlike Miyuki's room, this one had a modern scent.
How should I put it? I couldn't define it exactly, but phytoncide seemed like the best fit.
Mixed with the sweet fragrance drifting off Kanna herself, it created a surprisingly pleasant harmony.
"What's up?"
Kanna asked from where she lay on her bed, reading a book.Several books sat next to her pillow; she must have brought them all from Miyuki's room.
"I was just bored."
"Where's Miyuki?"
"She fell asleep right after washing up."
"Already?"
"Yeah."
"That's because you tormented her so much."
"How did I torment her?"
"Well... in various ways."
Should I torment her too?
I barely swallowed the words. Instead, I gave Kanna a sly grin as she pulled out her desk chair and gestured for me to sit.
"What are you reading?"
"A novel."
"Is it good?"
"No."
"Then why are you reading it?"
"Just because?"
"I see. I'm going to step out to the Convenience Store. Do you have a key? I don't want to be a nuisance by ringing the doorbell this late."
"You worry too much. A key? Oh, right."
Kanna rummaged across her desk as if suddenly remembering something and handed me a small key.
"Take this."
"Do you want it back after I use it?"
"No. It's a spare, but Mom said you should keep it."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Really."
To trust me enough to give me a house key...
Didn't this mean they'd essentially singled me out as a prospective son-in-law, as family?
No, not just singled out—it was practically set in stone.
I felt happy. At the same time, a strange, twisted desire surged within me.
The urge to become a complete member of this family through some warped method... the feeling kept bubbling up.
"You forgot about this?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Who knows? Why did I forget? Probably because Miyuki was making strange noises earlier."
Our Kanna was certainly brimming with sexual curiosity.
It seemed my cock would be necessary to satisfy her.
"What strange noises?"
"Weren't you the one listening closest to her?"
"I don't really know what you're talking about."
"Very funny. Keep it down."
"Understood."
"What do you understand?"
"I said I'll keep it down."
"I mean, what exactly are you keeping down?"
"What you just told me to."
"What did I tell you?"
Miyuki would sometimes pull bizarre pranks on me.
She must have picked up that mischievous streak growing up with Kanna.
I shrugged at Kanna, who was trying to fluster me with her teasing, and decided to just give her a blunt answer.
"Se—"
Kanna flinched, cutting me off with a weird, flustered yelp.
"Quiet...! Quiet...! Stop talking...!"
Why pry if she was going to react like this?
Seeing her display a flimsy reaction worthy of Renka, mixed with Miyuki's way of speaking, made Kanna look incredibly cute.
As she pulled the blanket up to her chest, did she know her face was on the verge of blushing furiously?
She'd be more aware of her rising body temperature than anyone else, so she probably felt it.
After chatting with Kanna a little longer, I tucked the chair back under the desk and left the room.
Then, I carefully made my way down to the first floor.
Midori and Wataru were nowhere to be seen in the living room.
Were they having some private couple time in their bedroom?
I wished they'd let me join in.
On my way back after buying various snacks at the Convenience Store, I ran into Tetsuya. He was radiating an unpleasant aura, and I was almost back to the house.
"Huh?"
The bastard had also spotted me and was staring my way in a daze.
You could call this encounter unexpected, but truthfully, it wasn't that surprising.
Tetsuya lived in this neighborhood, after all.
He didn't live right next door to Miyuki, but they were close enough that running into each other while out walking was bound to happen.
"Out for a walk?"
I approached and asked. Snapping out of it, he nodded.
"Ah, yeah. That's right. I was taking a walk."
"Is that so?"
"What about you?"
"I picked up some things at the Convenience Store."
"And you're on your way back?"
"Yeah."
Tetsuya's gaze drifted toward Miyuki's house, about thirty meters away.
"To Miyuki's house?"
"Yep."
For a fleeting moment, a look of sheer jealousy washed over Tetsuya's face.
"Going out this late is a bit... you know?"
Was that pathetic little jab really all he could muster?
I wasn't sure whether to be glad he hadn't changed or to just pity him.
"It's fine. I have a key."
"A-A key...? You have a key? A key to Miyuki's house?"
"Yeah."
"That makes no sense..."
"What part of it doesn't make sense?"
"Ah, sorry... That was a slip of the tongue."
A slip of the tongue after loudly muttering it for me to hear? What a joke.
He was getting way too cocky just because I was staying quiet.
This was beyond something I could just laugh off.
"Cut it out."
"Huh?"
"I said cut it out."
"Cut what out?"
"Stop trying to pick a fight with me."
I had plenty of ways to provoke Tetsuya's rage.
For example, if I was a bit more blunt about my relationship with Miyuki, he would blindly lunge at me without a second thought.
But as I'd decided before, I had absolutely no intention of doing that.
Using her like that felt disrespectful, like I was cheapening her. It didn't sit well with me.
Honestly, using Miyuki to taunt a loser like Tetsuya was utterly pointless.
It hurt my pride, too.
"No... I didn't mean to do that. If I offended you, I'm sorry."
There he went again, poking at someone and then acting like the victim to make the other person look crazy.
That kind of habit wasn't just a Tetsuya problem; it was a toxic trait no decent human being should possess.
It was the rhetoric of someone entirely devoid of social skills.
"I'm not offended, just annoyed. It's funny, really. Aren't you embarrassed to project your inferiority complex so openly? Just drop it."
"H-How am I projecting an inferiority complex? Watch your mouth."
"If you say you aren't, then whatever, but you seriously need to take some time and reflect on yourself."
Was it because he was hearing advice strikingly similar to what Miyuki had told him at the playground recently?
Tetsuya clamped his mouth shut, the sound of his grinding teeth filling the air.
Was he still doing well at his boxing gym?
I sure wished he'd throw one solid punch at me.
Then Miyuki would hit the roof the moment she saw my badly bruised face.
"I don't want to hear that kind of advice from you."
Me as justice, Tetsuya as evil. It was hard to string together a scenario like that.
Because I was treating him politely, he seemed reluctant to cross the line... But at this rate, Miyuki wouldn't have a reason to draw her sword against him.
Of course, I could personally attack Tetsuya right now, provoke him into throwing a punch, and then play innocent to Miyuki later.
She would believe my word over his anyway.
But that would mean lying to Miyuki.
Which was why it bothered me.
I wanted to completely sever this relationship while I had the chance today, but how?
The answer came to me instantly.
"Then suit yourself. Just stop being a nuisance."
Simply using a dismissive tone like this would do the trick.
Besides, I had already prodded him about being embarrassing; Tetsuya, consumed by his inferiority complex, would inevitably screw himself over.
"You thug piece of shit."
Look at that. He was stepping right into it.
Acting all tough just because he learned a little boxing... What a pathetic sight.
Still, I hadn't expected him to lash out with such heavy profanity right out of the gate.
His inferiority complex must have completely boiled over, but maybe he genuinely had some talent for boxing, bolstering his confidence.
"What?"
I took a large stride toward him, hardening my expression. He didn't back down, glaring right back at me.
It was a little funny watching him crane his neck up at me because he was shorter.
His hair had grown shaggy again... It looked like it would smell.
"Thug piece of shit? Did I just hear that right?"
"...Am I wrong? It's the truth."
I watched his fists clench tight.
Had he resolved to fight? Excellent.
Honestly, if you reversed our roles, this could be the story of Tetsuya conquering his trauma.
Mustering the courage to stand up against the evil oppressing him... It was the classic development of a coming-of-age story.
The only issue was how incredibly gloomy the process was, but stripping everything else away and looking only at the result, it fit perfectly.
"Haa... Right, you're not wrong, but it still pisses me off. I'd appreciate it if you stayed out of my way from now on. I'm begging you."
Letting out a deep sigh, I put on a show of backing down, which Tetsuya took as a sign that he had the upper hand.
"That's exactly what I wanted to say. I've been uncomfortable too."
"No, I think you're misunderstanding... I'm telling you to stay away from Miyuki."
"Who are you to decide that? I've known her longer than you—"
"Yeah, you've known Miyuki for a long time. But the mere thought of your toxic personality rubbing off on her makes me sick."
"Urgh...!"
Tetsuya's clenched fists started to tremble furiously.
He could have just snorted and brushed my words aside, but reacting like this meant he also knew his personality was flawed.
Simply put, it was an inferiority complex.
And since it was me—the guy who had snatched Miyuki right out from under him—poking at that complex, it drove him mad.
"You know it yourself, don't you? How pathetic you are. So, for Miyuki's sake, do us all a favor and fuck off."
At those words, Tetsuya's arm swung.
In that split second, I gathered the greatest focus of my life.
It was finally here. Judging by the angle of the swing, he was aiming squarely at my face.
It was going to hurt like hell, but I needed to take the hit clean.
Hard enough that the injury would be clearly visible.
The cheekbone? No, that was too dangerous.
Blood was a much more visually stimulating prop, so somewhere between the jaw and the cheek would be perfect.
My gums would definitely bust open.
Finishing my calculations in the blink of an eye, I pulled my head back slightly and twisted to the side, adjusting the angle just as Tetsuya's surprisingly sturdy fist flew toward my face.
Smack—!
A heavy thud rang out, followed instantly by a stinging numbness spreading across my cheek and a sharp ache flooding my mouth.
Having completely fulfilled my objective, I stumbled back a few steps and shot Tetsuya a sidelong glance.
He looked horrified. Had he really not expected me to take that hit so cleanly?
His punch was damn heavy. It really hurt. But I felt like breaking into a dance.
"Gasp! What the!? What is going on!?"
Right on cue, a faint, horrified scream echoed from above.
I shifted my eyes upward and spotted Kanna's bedroom window wide open.
Discovering this, I cheered internally.
With this, I didn't even need to cook up a story myself.
An incident right outside Miyuki's house, witnessed perfectly by Kanna.
It was a shame Miyuki hadn't been here to watch Tetsuya dig his own grave, but either way, this was the absolute best-case scenario for me.
Kanna, who knew both me and Tetsuya well, wouldn't just sit back and let us hash it out on our own.
She would immediately rush to Miyuki and tell her everything.
And when she did? My future would sail as smoothly as a ship with the wind at its back.
I really was a chosen protagonist handpicked by God.
"You want to keep going?"
I spat out the blood pooling in my mouth and asked in the calmest tone possible. Tetsuya, standing with his mouth agape, slowly lowered his head.
He didn't even glance toward Miyuki's house; consumed by rage until just a moment ago, he had completely missed Kanna spotting us.
This made it so much easier for me to play along.
"This streetlamp sure is hard."
I tapped the streetlamp next to me with an exaggerated gesture, though subtle enough that an ordinary observer wouldn't notice.
Taking it a step further, I pulled out my Cell Phone and smacked it lightly against the post, cracking the case.
The reason I went out of my way to do this was to make it look like I was trying to sweep the incident under the rug.
I didn't actually want to cover it up, of course. I just intended to put on a bit of a facade.
To permanently engrave the sheer contrast between Tetsuya and me in Miyuki's mind.
Normally, I wouldn't go this far.
But right now, I had Kanna as a witness.
Flustered as she was, it was highly likely she hadn't caught the true intention behind my little stunt, but that didn't matter.
I was merely laying the groundwork for a route.
If it worked, great. If not, whatever.
If it worked, it meant distorting my true intentions to Miyuki, but to completely get rid of Tetsuya, a little hypocrisy was a necessary evil.
It was a lie, sure, but a lie born of good intentions... The ends justified the means, right?
"I'm leaving."
Having wrapped up my work, I walked right past Tetsuya, who was rooted to the spot, trembling uncontrollably.
My destination wasn't Miyuki's house, but a small walking trail nearby.
It would be far more dramatic if I stalled a bit before walking through their front door.
I would wait five minutes. I'd give Kanna enough time to explain everything to Miyuki, and I'd head back just as the split on my lip and my ruined gums started to scab over. It would be perfect.
I should buy some ice cream, too.
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