How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 520
"What is this place... Are you kidding me?"
Renka's agitated voice pitched up as she looked out from the passenger seat, taking in the familiar parking lot.
I ignored her and finished parking, which made her flare up instantly.
"Am I just some toy for you to take your lust out on!?"
"No."
"Then why the hell are we coming here in the middle of the day! You definitely see me as an object!"
"I don't. We do it because we like each other, because the feeling is mutual."
"That's just your delusion!"
"Then do you not like me, President?"
"Ugh...! Th-That's not it, but... it just feels like it...! Whenever we meet up, we always come here...""Not always."
"Ah, anyway, it just looks... bad, you know...!"
"Don't entertain such negative thoughts. It's not like we just go in and have sex... we can do plenty of other things."
"Then I'm just going to watch TV."
"You can watch TV, President. You can just stay still."
"Ah, damn it...! That is your goal...!!"
I needed to fix Renka's habit of constantly complaining.
With that thought, I swung my palm down onto her thigh.
Smack!
"Hyaang!?"
Renka let out a startled moan so loud it echoed through the car.
She reflexively grabbed the spot I hit, gritted her teeth, and glared at me murderously as she shouted.
"Hey!! Are you crazy!!?"
"I'm sorry."
"Is hitting me and apologizing all it takes!? Have you completely lost your mind, you Trash!?"
"Consider it the price for acting up until now."
"Wow, w-wow...! This guy is completely insane...?"
It was funny to see her stutter, absolutely dumbfounded by my shameless words.
Come to think of it, Renka was terrible at cursing.
The insults I heard from her every time were limited to Trash, son of a bitch, and crazy bastard.
Even though she could easily say far worse things, she seemed to have absolutely no intention of doing so.
It was just like Renka and her inherently kind nature.
Clack.
Leaving the practically fuming Renka alone, I stepped out of the driver's seat and gestured with my chin through the window, signaling her to get out.
"No!!"
She squeezed her eyes shut and shouted her reply.
I shrugged, strode over to the passenger side, and opened the door. I thrust my upper body over a flinching Renka and unbuckled her seatbelt.
"I-I'm not going...! I said I'm not going!"
I patted her hip as she screamed, then walked to the back and opened the trunk.
"Wh-What are you doing...? Hey...! What are you grabbing...?"
"This and that."
"What do you mean, this and that...! I hear rattling sounds. You're not... grabbing dirty things, are you...? Ah...? I saw it...! I saw something like a rope...!! Take it out!"
Laughter kept threatening to burst out at the sight of Renka whining and pointing her finger.
I forcefully swallowed the urge and muttered quietly.
"You talk too much."
"What did you say, you bastard...!?"
"Done. Let's go up now."
"Go up where...! I'm not going...!!"
Click.
With those words, Renka snapped her seatbelt buckle back in.
If she really didn't want to go, she would have gotten out and walked right out of the Hotel on her own two feet. Seeing her sit there and complain meant she had at least some desire to go up.
I snorted, slung the backpack filled with various items over one shoulder, went back to Renka, and unfastened her seatbelt again.
Then I grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the car.
"Ah, I said... no...!!"
I looked down with stern eyes at Renka, who was throwing a tantrum like a young child refusing to eat broccoli, and spoke.
"You want to do it here?"
"What...? Are you... crazy...?"
"Then get out."
"Stop speaking so casually...!"
"I said get out. I'll stop if you get out."
Renka pouted, muttered something under her breath, and stepped out of the car.
She must have realized that holding out any longer was useless, so she was content to compromise on formal speech.
"Hah..."
I flashed a bright smile at the heavily sighing Renka, walked into the lobby, picked up the keycard for the room I had reserved, and got on the elevator.
The room I had booked today had a prison concept.
It was because I wanted to return to our roots.
Of course, my relationship with Renka was nowhere near its initial stages anymore, but I still wanted to feel that kind of vibe.
"Hah... You booked something just like yourself..."
That was Renka's impression the moment she took in the room.
It seemed she felt a similar vibe to what I was feeling.
An iron-bar partition separated the living room and the hallway.
Satisfied with the sight of the wide queen-sized bed visible between the bars, I lightly tapped the small of Renka's back.
"D-Don't push...! I'll walk on my own...!"
"Then do it."
Did my consistently nonchalant attitude displease her?
Renka haughtily lifted her chin.
And what she said next was absurd.
"Let me off."
"What?"
"Give me a break. I want to rest today."
"Is that the attitude of someone asking for a break?"
"I did nothing wrong, but I came here because of your stubbornness. Even so, I took a step back and asked you to give me a break, so you should be considerate of me too."
Hmm, hmm. It seemed she had become a lot like me.
Seeing her act so shamelessly, I wondered if she would become exactly like me sooner or later.
I stared in disbelief at her crossing her arms, then firmly shook my head.
"You shouldn't force consideration. I refuse."
"Then I'm not doing it."
"I'm getting tired of bickering with you too, President."
"That's great. Let's leave."
"I didn't say we were leaving."
"I don't mind standing here forever."
"Earlier you said you'd walk on your own."
"Shut up. Ah...! Don't touch me! Damn it...! I said don't touch me...!"
When I tried to place my hand on her waist, Renka wildly swung her arms in resistance.
Her acting up was particularly severe today. However, it made her look even cuter, so I actually liked it more.
I secretly snickered at Renka's pathetic struggle and opened my backpack while she twisted her body this way and that in resistance.
Then, before she could even react, I fastened something around her wrist.
Clack, click.
The sound of plastic teeth engaging, followed by the sound of something locking into place.
"Huh...?"
Renka stopped dead in her tracks. She shook the arm she was using to guard her lower back from my hands. "What is...?"
Feeling a slight weight on her wrist, she let out a puzzled exclamation and looked down.
Then her eyes widened into a glare.
"Hey...!! What the hell is this...!!!"
Her voice grew shrill as she saw the handcuff fastened around one of her wrists.
"What do you mean? It's a handcuff."
"A-Are you insane...? Take this off right now!!"
Because they were BDSM handcuffs, there was a separate release button next to the keyhole that didn't require a key.
But Renka was completely unaware of that fact.
"Take it off! Take it off, you Trash bastard!! What are you trying to do!!"
She merely shrieked and tried to find out if there was a key in my hands or backpack.
"You want me to take it off?"
"Yeah! And you said you wouldn't speak casually!!"
"You believed that? How naive."
"Hah... Right, it's my fault for trusting a guy like you. I'll let that slide, so take this off."
"If you want it off, change your clothes."
"What are you talking about...! I told you I'm not doing it, didn't I?"
"If you don't change, I'll cuff your other hand too."
"Ah... I'm getting so stressed... Do you really have to be like this?"
"Yeah."
"So you're going to do it anyway?"
"Exactly."
"...Fine. Then I just have to take off my clothes, right?"
I found Renka's despairing resignation to reality quite endearing.
However, she seemed to be under a misconception.
I told her to change clothes; when did I ever tell her to take them off?
For Renka, who had completely misunderstood my words, I personally pulled out the clothes I had prepared from my backpack and showed them to her.
With a rustle, a light blue top made of somewhat stiff material emerged... along with a shiny black latex skirt as tough as leather, and stockings dark enough to completely hide bare skin...
And lastly, black shoes with extremely high heels.
"...What is...?"
Renka's eyes grew incomparably large as she inspected the items.
"I-Isn't this that...?"
I lifted one corner of my mouth at the stuttering Renka and answered.
"That's right. A police uniform."
"Have you... Have you finally lost your mind...? Do you honestly think I'll wear this...?"
"Put it on."
"No...!"
"This isn't a request. If you don't wear it, I don't know what's going to happen."
"Don't threaten me!"
"But if you wear it, I'll treat you really well."
After saying that, I peppered Renka's cheeks, forehead, and lips with several light, affectionate kisses. Utterly swayed by the physical contact, she stamped her feet.
"Hah... You're driving me crazy...!"
"You'll wear it, right?"
"...You'll get mad at me if I don't...! And stop speaking casually...!"
"Understood."
"You only use formal speech when you're at a disadvantage... This is seriously pissing me off..."
"Put it on and come out. I'll be waiting."
Tap, tap.
With a gentle smile, I patted Renka's rear. She let out a heavy sigh, grabbed the clothes and shoes, and I watched her back as she slumped her shoulders and walked into the room.
Slam!
Thinking how cute it was that she slammed the door so loudly just to make a point, I sat down on the edge of the bed. Not long after, a loud voice rang out from the room she had entered.
"Ah, seriously!!! This is so annoying, you crazy bastard...!!"
She must have seen the design.
Even so, I really loved how Renka would just curse while still granting my wishes.
"What kind of perverted bastard does this...!"
Listening to the sporadic cursing leaking out through the door, I happily waited for Renka.
Creeeak...
The room door opened slightly, and as I felt her bashful gaze through the crack, I stood up from my seat.
"D-Don't come closer...!"
It was amusing how she had even turned off the lights and was desperately trying to stop me.
With that thought, I pulled the door wide open. Startled, Renka took a couple of steps back, her heels clicking against the floor.
In the meantime, I turned on the lights and broke into a huge smile at the sight of Renka under the warm orange illumination.
"This is nice."
The top was so short it barely covered her upper body, completely exposing the bare skin of her slender waistline.
Even then, it only had three closely spaced buttons meant to cover her chest, so even when fully buttoned, half of her upper breasts and her cleavage remained exposed.
Add to that a very short, tight skirt that covered from below her navel down to her pelvis, plus shoes and stockings that made Renka's already long legs stand out even more...
It suited her incredibly well. As expected, cosplay was perfect for Renka.
"D-Don't laugh... turn off the lights...!"
At her angry voice as she squeezed her legs together and crossed her knees in sheer embarrassment, I obediently nodded and dimmed all the lights in the room as much as possible.
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