His Rui

Standing in front of Yi Huiqing, Zhao Zhang Wei's eyes were filled with and guilt.

The guilt of lying, the guilt of giving her so much pain unintentionally, and the guilt of so many other things he had done in his arrogance.

Perhaps at this point, he has even lost the right to feel guilty.

The woman in front of him smiled cruelly …as if relishing the pain and guilt in his eyes…on his face.

Was she cruel?

No, she wasn't. It always has been him who had been cruel.

Cruel enough to think that she would accept any kind of intimacy between them after losing two children …that too after being told that she was responsible for their death.

"Qingqing"

He whispered as he raised his hands to cup her cheek. His thumb caressed the soft skin under them and he felt relieved seeing no resistance from his side.

After confirming that she was looking in his eyes, he said firmly 

"You are not at fault…those two children…"

It took Zhao Zhang Wei's whole strength to say these last three words. In his mind, he imagined if those children were alive then …how would his and Qingqing's life had been.

"…they didn't die because of you."

He finished finally hoping that she would believe him …because he didn't have any strength to tell her the truth now.

He dared not imagine what would happen if Yi Huiqing got to know about the lies he had told her. However, lost in his thoughts Zhao Zhang Wei didn't know that Yi Huiqing already knew about the truth he was trying to hide from her… but he didn't have to wait for long to know about this.

The next moment, he saw Yi Huiqing's smile becoming colder as she looked at him and said

"I know. I know now that my children didn't die because of me. I know that they were poisoned. I also knew that you knew this all along but ordered the Imperial Physician to lie to me."

All the blood drained from Zhao Zhang Wei's face and his face became paler if it could become.

"H…how …"

He staggered backward and his eyes were filled with horror.

This horror on seeing Yi Huiqing's cold and distant smile…in all his life he had not felt it even when he had lost the most precious woman in his life before.

"Why Wangye…"

Yi Huiqing whispered suddenly with all the confusion present all over her face.

"Why did you hide it from me?"

And at her question, Zhao Zhang Wei's face hardened when he remembered why he had lied to Yi Huiqing about her child but he didn't say anything to her.

Yi Huiqing felt very frustrated by his silence so she held his arm and shook it lightly while she said

"Tell me, why did you lie to me? Was it because you never wanted this child in the first place with me?"

That was the only reason Yi Huiqing could come up with.

"It must be right…but you could have told me if you wanted it that way…I would have never forced you to have a child with me."

whispered Yi Huiqing when Zhao Zhang Wei didn't say anything.

She assumed her own words to be true.

Her heart was filled with bitterness as she remembered how yesternight, in mother-daughter alone time, her mother was still urging her to have another child with her so-called husband. 

Yi Huiqing, however, this time blatantly refused her mother's advice.

'Mother, please I wish to manage my martial life in my own way now.' She had said to her mother.

She could see the hurt on her mother's face but this time, Yi Huiqing had had enough.

'Can you not see my pain?' he had wished to ask but had controlled herself in the end. Remembering those things gave her more pain.

After a very long time, her whole family had got together and she didn't want anyone to be sad over anything…including herself. 

Every time, she had receded and obeyed her mother's words silently.

This time she wished for some peace for herself and hence she wished to be selfish.   

Yi Huiqing looked at the silent man in front of herself and finally asked a question that had been buried inside her heart for a very long         

"W…was it you who k..killed them?" 

A large part of her heart was already saying 'no' but she wanted to hear it from Zhao Zhang Wei's mouth.

Zhao Zhang Wei, on the other hand, looked at his Wangfei with an incredulous expression.

'How could she even think that he would poison her and try to kill his own child?'

His mouth opened to refuse her words immediately, however, a voice inside his heart instantly stopped him.

'In the end, wasn't he the reason for their death?'

And the worst thing was that Zhao Zhang Wei really didn't have any words to deny this question.

Yes, he killed his own children.

He looked at Yi Huiqing silently with a hard face …one that was ready to accept every accusation she would throw at him.

And hence this was how he broke Yi Huiqing again and this time with his silence.

"Y..you did?…"

She questioned again hoping for him to say 'no' but he continued to stand there with guilt-filled eyes that made Yi Huiqing believe what she had never dared to believe since she had found out about her unborn children's death.     

'Her own husband poisoned her and killed their children…'

It took Yi Huiqing a long time to register everything. She stood there with a parted mouth as she breathed sharply with a shocked face.

When she finally came out of her trance, she looked at the man in front of her eyes and whispered with blank eyes.

"Zhao Zhang Wei"

Calling a prince by his name was a crime especially for his Wangfei and concubines, but Yi Huiqing's mind was far away from thinking of the consequences of what she was doing.

"I have never asked anything from you. I just have one wish. Can you grant me this only thing?"

Zhao Zhang Wei's eager nod came as soon as she finished her words.

But his heart was filled with fear when she said her next words.

"Please don't show me your face ever again. Please don't come to my courtyard and do not seek for me. If we see each other in the future then, please try to avoid me as much as you can. I will do the same. I just want this from you."   

With these words, Yi Huiqing left Zhao Zhang Wei's chambers without even waiting for his answer. 

She didn't care for the reactions of Eunuch Zhang and other maids and servants as she strode to her Lantai Courtyard with a blank face followed by Lin Daiyu.