Chapter 77 — Fear of Control

Yuuto

The clubroom felt wrong with Ise-kun and Akeno-senpai gone.

Not empty.

Not even especially quiet at first.

It only became quiet after everyone realized they were waiting for someone else to begin.

The two of them had went to the shrine Akeno-senpai lived at to see the Archangel Michael.

Apparently Issei had attracted the attention of a faction leader yet again.

Though with Buchou approving the meeting then there was likely nothing to really worry about.

We just had to worry about Issei-kun saying something he really shouldn’t to the leader of the Angles right before the summit.

Though I would be lying if I tried to say that I am not extremely curious as to why Michael-sama wanted to speak to Issei-kun

Rias-Buchou sat behind her desk without doing any work.

Kusari-san sat by the window with that same careful posture she wore whenever she was holding herself together too tightly.

Koneko-chan stayed nearer to her than usual, not touching, not speaking, just near enough to make the choice obvious.

Asia-san kept glancing from one to the other with open concern.

Xenovia-san looked like she understood that something serious was happening and was deeply annoyed that she could not solve it with a direct approach.

I set my cup down.

“If no one else will say it,” I said, “then I will.”

That got everyone’s attention.

It was about time.

Things had been odd between Kusari-san and Buchou for a bit after the fight with Kokabiel, and I thought they had moved past it.

But now Kusari-san was pretty much giving her the cold shoulder and Rias-Buchou looked both frustrated and concerned whenever she looked at Kusari-san.

Even the rest of the girls had been giving Kusari-san odd looks since Buchou had unsealed Gasper-kun’s room.

I understand that Kusari-san would react poorly to Gasper-kun’s situation in the peerage.

With everything else going on we had not been able to address it until it was too late.

But that tension should be between Kusari-san and Buchou, not the whole peerage. 

So something more must have happened after I left Gasper’s room. 

“This can’t continue,” I said. “The tension between you two is obvious.”

Rias-Buchou exhaled quietly.

Kusari-san didn’t react.

“And something is off with everyone else and Kusari-san. Koneko-chan, Asia-san, Xenovia-san, you all have been giving her looks since yesterday.”

Kusari-san turned to me then. 

When she spoke her voice was level and slightly tired.

“The second part is easier to answer. Azazel-sama recognized me and brought up my first [King] along with an old name I had been called before.”

That was not what I had expected to hear.

“The Governor of the Fallen Angels knows you personally?” I asked.

“Not personally, no. I had never met the man until then, but he had heard of me. He said he had read some reports that information about me was in and that he knew my first [King] personally.”

I could already tell that she was not going to explain more than she had to, and I was not going to push her.

“Who was your [King]?”

“Orutho Raim. A member of the house of the Crow.” Koneko-chan answered for her.

Kusari-san glanced at her and then nodded.

Buchou sat up straighter at her desk.

“The house Raim? I didn’t know they had any surviving members left. They were not always looked upon in the best light by the other Pillar houses. They were known to be either wonderful diplomats and advisers or scavengers and blights to others….”

She looked at Kusari-san with concern.

Kusari-san didn’t look back.

“It doesn’t matter now. Azazel-sama spoke as if he was a part of the past, he may be dead now after all this time.”

“That may be for the best, you seem uncomfortable at the mention of him and if he remains as part of your past then you won't have to worry about him anymore.” Xemovia-san said.

We looked at her in shock.

“What? I know I’m not good at subtlety or emotions, but even I can tell that Kusari was distressed by what she heard. I don’t really know anything about her past other than it wasn’t good, so I can assume that anyone involved in it was part of the issue.”

“That’s a surprisingly good take on it, Xenovia-san.” I said

“Thank you.”

Realizing that this topic was probably one to discuss when Kusari-san was ready, I shifted back to the first issue.

“Going back to my first point. What’s going on between you two?” I asked, looking at Buchou and Kusari-san.

Asia-san folded her hands together more tightly in her lap. “I think... we all know something happened.”

“Yes,” Xenovia-san said.

Koneko-chan glanced at Kusari-san. “...We are worried….”

I looked at Rias-Buchou first, then at Kusari.

“I don’t need every private detail,” I said. “But if this is serious enough that it’s affecting the whole peerage, then pretending nothing happened is only making it worse.”

Rias-Buchou’s gaze shifted toward Kusari-san.

That was enough in itself.

She was waiting.

Because she knew whatever was said now would matter more if Kusari-san chose to say it instead of being spoken around.

Kusari-san noticed too.

For a second I thought she might refuse and let the room rot in uncertainty.

Instead she said, very evenly, “The issue is Gasper-kun’s room.”

No one interrupted.

She continued.

“Not because his circumstances and mine are identical. They are not.” Her eyes lowered briefly, then lifted again. “But because they are similar enough for it to matter.”

Asia-san swallowed. “How similar?”

Kusari-san looked toward the old school building window for a second, as if she could still see the sealed classroom from here.

“Someone else deciding your freedom,” she said. “Someone above you deciding where you are allowed to exist, what you are allowed to do, and what level of risk is acceptable on your behalf.”

The way she put it, Gasper-kun’s room became harder to look at as anything less than a cell.

Xenovia-san crossed her arms. “But Gasper’s sealing was done because his Sacred Gear was dangerous.”

Kusari-san nodded once. “Yes.”

Then she added, colder:

“That is part of why it unsettles me. His confinement came from fear. Misplaced concern, perhaps. But the reason given was for control. Concern for him and those around him can be used logically, but the only reason he was released was because Buchou was deemed able to control him..”

Buchou flinched slightly.

I heard the shift immediately.

Because what came next was not about Gasper-kun anymore.

Kusari-san turned her head just enough to look directly at her.

“My situation never came from concern,” she said.

The room tightened.

Asia-san’s breath caught softly.

Xenovia-san sat up straighter.

Koneko-chan did not move at all.

Rias-Buchou did not interrupt.

Kusari-san kept her voice controlled, but there was something sharper under it now.

An old anger that had been hidden for too long.

“It was never about someone deciding I was too dangerous and needed to be protected from myself or to protect others,” she said. “It was about control. About ownership. About someone else deciding what I was worth, what I was allowed to do, where I was allowed to go, and what they wanted from me.”

The words were not loud.

They sounded rehearsed by memory.

Asia-san’s face had gone pale.

Rias-Buchou’s hands had gone very still on the desk.

Kusari-san looked at each of us and continued anyway.

“Gasper-kun’s room,” she said, “showed me something I had not wanted to see.”

I finally spoke. “What?”

She looked at me and answered without softening it.

“That even in this peerage, a member can be shut away because someone decides it is necessary.”

That made Koneko-chan’s fingers curl into her sleeves.

She looked to Buchou for an answer.

Buchou’s expression tightened. “Kusari-chan—”

“No,” Kusari-san said.

Her voice was cold.

“You have already explained why it happened. I understand the reasoning. That is not the same as believing it could never happen again. That was what we spoke about before. That is why I have been on edge since I saw his room.”

That was the heart of it.

Not what had happened to Gasper-kun, but what it had proved possible.

Rias-Buchou stood slowly from her chair.

She looked at her with a grim seriousness as she spoke.

“And I told you that I wouldn’t let that happen to you.”

Kusari-san held her gaze.

“I would like to believe you, but I have seen now that it was, and can still be possible.”

Buchou flinched slightly again.

She looked as though she had no way to deny what Kusari-san had said.

And it caused her to lose something between herself and Kusari-san.

The end of certainty that Rias-Buchou would not hurt her like she had been hurt before.

Asia-san leaned forward a little without seeming to realize it. “Kusari-san...”

Kusari-san’s eyes shifted to her, and some of the hardness eased by a degree.

“Gasper-kun’s room frightened me,” she said. “Not because I thought Buchou is identical to the people who controlled me before. If I believed that fully, I would not still be here.” She looked back at Buchou. “But because it showed me that despite her good intentions, care, and concern something like that can still happen. And I no longer know where the line would be if it was decided that I became too difficult.”

Rias-Buchou’s face changed at that.

She looked pained that whatever trust she had built with Kusari-san had been damaged to the point where she may not be able to fix it before it fully broke.

Kusari-san still wanted to believe she was different.

That was something she made obvious, but right now she wasn’t sure it was completely true.

Asia-san’s voice came small and careful. “Then... when you said you were upset, it wasn’t only about Gasper-kun’s fears. It was about the fact that someone was sealed away at all.”

“Yes,” Kusari-san said.

Buchou spoke then, and her voice was tight in a way I had heard only rarely from her.

“I told you already that I was younger and made a mistake. I know better now and will fight for you and everyone else in my peerage.”

Kusari-san’s expression did not change.

“I know you said it.”

Buchou’s jaw tightened.

“That is not the same as being believed,” I said quietly.

Rias-buchou looked at me.

She looked close to breaking down and turned away before I could see how close she realy was.

Kusari-san went on before Buchou could settle.

“I have been told that someone cared for me before,” she said. “What they intended. What they would never do. Those things are easy to believe when you still have value to the person saying them.”

Koneko-chan looked like she wanted to move closer to her but knew it wasn’t the time.

Asia-san let out a small gasp.

Xenovia-san’s frown deeper as she watched the room.

This was more than Kusari-san had told us before.

I didn’t know what to think.

If that was what her life was before we met her then I don’t know how she had allowed herself to trust any of us.

Rias-Buchou stepped out from behind the desk.

“Kusari-chan.”

Kusari-san’s eyes stayed on her.

“I am not saying that to keep you useful,” She said. “Or obedient.”

“And if I stop being either?”

Rias-Buchou stopped.

The question had been prepared.

It was something she had waiting to ask out of fear of Buchou’s answer.

It may have been more from the fear of her own past being repeated.

Kusari-san’s voice remained level.

“If my next seal released is more substantial, if the one after that is worse than that, if you are told I've become too powerful, too unstable, too concerning for your brother, for the peerage, then what?”

Xenovia-san finally spoke, and I almost stopped her.

“What you mean,” she said, “is not only ‘would Rias seal me’ but ‘will you only remove my seals if it will still be convenient for you.’”

The bluntness should have been harmful.

Instead, Kusari-san looked at her and nodded once.

“Yes.”

That answer hurt Rias-Buchou deeper than before.

I could see it.

Because this wasn’t a question of hypothetical orders from above us.

It was about whether Buchou’s care had conditions she herself had not yet discovered.

Asia-san looked between them, voice trembling slightly. “Kusari-san... did no one ever care for you without wanting something from you?”

The question was so nakedly sincere that for a second I could only wait for Kusari-san to respond. 

Kusari-san’s eyes flicked to her.

And for the first time since the conversation began, something in her face genuinely shifted.

Toward something more tired than hard.

“Very few people are strong enough to want nothing,” she said.

Her answer was worse than if she had simply said no.

The way she said it showed that she had trusted someone enough times before and had learned that doing so was always a mistake.

Asia-san lowered her gaze.

Koneko-chan’s posture had gone tight as she watched Kusari-san.

Rias-Buchou took another step forward.

“I am not those people.”

Kusari-san did not answer immediately.

Then she said, “I want that to be true.”

That was the core of the issue.

Kusari-san wanted Rias-Buchou to be telling the truth.

She wanted to believe that our peerage was different.

She hoped that the trust she placed in her would not have been foolish.

And now she didn’t know whether wanting it made her naïve.

Rias-Buchou seemed to understand that too.

Because when she spoke again, her voice was quieter.

“I made a mistake with Gasper.”

The words were plain.

She didn’t try to make it sound better for her. 

“I was weaker then. I accepted something when I should have fought harder,” she said. “I can say all of that. I can say I was younger, less capable, more willing to believe that someone above me knew best. None of it changes what the room looked like to you. Or what it did to him.”

Buchou looked like she believed everything she was saying.

Kusari-san looked like she thought it wasn’t enough.

Her mouth tightened slightly.

“You said before your peerage is your family.”

“Kusari, you’ve already asked me this before. My answer hasn’t changed.”

“Yes, but now it’s not only us in the room. I’m not the only one who has to wonder about this. Yuuto-san unlocked a balance breaker that goes against God’s system. What if the Fallen Angels ask for a research subject and the Maou agree? Xenovia-san is the only weirder of the legendary Durandal. What if the Angels change their minds and decide that they don’t like the fact that a Devil is using one of their holy blades anymore? Asia-san has an extremely rare and potent healing Sacred Gear. What if the Maou decide she is too valuable and lock her away for protection? And Issei-san is a Longinus possessor. That's self explanatory as to why it can become an issue.”

Kusari looked around the room.

“I’m not just frightened for myself, Buchou. Almost everyone in your peerage can be given a reason for them to be sealed away just like Gasper-kun was. So, if you think of them as family, would you lock away a family member again?”

That made each of us pause and Buchou to flinch again at hearing how Kusari-san described what she did to Gasper-kun.

And because I knew her, I also knew that what hurt most about the question was that it had no answer she could give without wounding herself too.

“He was family to me. All of you are. I made a mistake and I won’t let it happen again. So no, I promise on my name as Rias Gremory and as your [King] that I will not let anyone take or lock away any of my family.” she said.

The truth of it was visible in her face.

She took the blow of Kusari-san’s words standing.

I admired her for it.

I hated that she had earned it too.

Buchou looked at Kusari-san and said, with more force now, “If the question is whether I would let my brother decide the fate of one of my peerage members again, then no. I would not.”

Kusari-san flinched slightly at the mention of Sirzechs-sama.

Then her eyes sharpened again.

“And if he ordered it?”

“No.”

“You would go against the orders of a Maou?”

Rias-Buchou did not hesitate this time.

“Yes.”

“And if he was not the only one pressuring you that I needed to be sealed away?”

This time Kusari-san wasn’t hiding behind the idea that it could happen to all of us.

Buchou still didn’t hesitate.

“Yes, I would still refuse.”

I could see that it mattered even to Kusari-san, because her face went very slightly less hard after the third answer.

She searched Buchou’s face for any trace of a lie.

Still, she did not let her go.

“You are answering with certainty now,” she said. “You answered differently once before.”

Buchou’s eyes closed for one brief second.

Then she opened them again and said, “Yes. I did.”

She did not deny it.

She knew that she had made a mistake before.

“And because I did I know how badly I hurt not just Gasper, but you as well.”

Kusari-san finally looked away from Buchou.

I don’t think things were fixed between them, and this conversation was not over yet. 

But it wasn’t only Buchou and Kusari-san talking this out.

We were all here for them now.

We would fix this.