58 The Grief of a Son
With the Senate Purged, and the Armies under his command Marcellus had declared himself Emperor, and Dictator, to act as the supreme authority in the Western Roman Empire until a point where the political situation could be stabilized, and the realm became prosperous once more.
Immediately there were concerns among the patricians, and plebeians alike, as to the extents Marcellus would take to ensure his vision of a glorious and untied Empire. However, after what happened to the Senate, few, if any, were willing to voice them.
A messenger had been dispatched to Alaric, seeking to come to negotiations. While this was occurring, conscription had been enacted and tens of thousands of young men were rounded up from their homes and placed into military service. Despite a lack of personal funds, Marcellus had seized the wealth of the senators he had killed and used it to fund the expansion of the Roman Army.
He had also used a portion of this newfound wealth to fund the expansion of the Empire’s agriculture. While winter was approaching, and the techniques he had dreamed of would not be useful until the next year, it was best to spread word of these agricultural reforms to the farmers, so that they can best prepare themself for next year’s crops.
Currently, the territory that Marcellus had under his control was Italia, and North Africa. Everything else was either occupied by Barbarians or Rebels. The limitanei who protected the frontiers were the only forces capable of rebelling against Marcellus’ rule.
However, they did not act in any threatening capacity, instead they stayed in control of their regions, and followed Marcellus’ order. As far as they were concerned, it was a good thing that a more capable man had deposed Honorius..
Thus, at the moment, Marcellus found himself spending whatever free time he had with his lover Sigefrida, who did her best to tend to the wounds in the man’s heart. With his mother’s death, he had little time to grieve, and could only bottle up the myriad of emotions he felt. Currently, the Suebi beauty was bathing with her Roman master. She was washing his back to the best of her ability while trying to comfort him about his recent loss.
“Marcellus, you know I don’t mean to pry, but I feel as if I can’t stay my tongue any longer. You need to speak about your mother… What happened to her was a tragedy, but you can’t keep bottling up your emotions like this. Please… speak to me!”
Perhaps it was because of the amount of wine he had consumed on this day, or perhaps it was because of the soothing sensation of his bath, but the moment Sigefrida spoke these words, Marcellus’ mind was consumed by the grief that he had sealed away deep within his heart.
He struggled to choke back the tears in his eyes. Sigefrida noticed this and wore a bitter smile as she hugged the man from behind. Her large bosom pressing against his bare back as she did so. Despite the euphoric sensation, Marcellus was not the least bit excited and instead broke into tears. He had broken the one rule he had set for himself since the moment he learned of his father’s death many years ago.
He swore to himself that he would never again cry in the presence of another living being. However, at this moment, the memories of that time when his mother comforted him flooded his mind. Yet, she was not here to comfort him in this moment of grief, for she was the cause of it.
As if he was a small child, Marcellus cried, and cried, turning from his position and shoving his head into the substantial bosom of his lover, seeking comfort in her warmth. Sigefrida had a comforting smile as she stroked the man’s soaked brown hair.
“There… There… let it all out…”
Marcellus whimpered like a wounded child as he called out the phrase over and over again.
“Mother… Why? Why did you have to die like this?”
Sigefrida knew Marcellus better than anybody. These past few days, he had been putting on an excellent facade. Revealing only strength to his followers, however, such a mask would inevitably crack sooner or later. It was better for the new emperor to let out his tears in private among a trustworthy companion than to break down in public.
Though the previous emperor was officially declared dead, the reality was he was being kept alive in the dungeons, where he was beaten and raped daily. Honorius was force fed only enough food and water to keep up his suffering. Eventually, he, like Aeliana, would die from his circumstances, but it would be many months before the fool finally croaked.
Despite condemning the man to such a fate, Marcellus did not have the strength of heart to visit his prisoner, because if he did, he would only associate the vile acts with what his mother had gone through. Even Placidia was unaware of her brother’s fate, believing the lies that Marcellus told the public. That Olympius had slain the former Emperor in an attempt to curry favor with the Rebel General so that he might save his own skin.
Most knew Olympius’ personality, and they did not question this lie, because of this many people did not blame Marcellus directly for Honorius’ death, but saw him as responsible since Olympius had only acted in such desperation because he was cornered. It was because of this that Marcellus had hopes of bribing the Eastern Empire into staying their hand. Should they learn of Honorius’s actual fate, there would be no repairing that relationship. Only blood would appease the Theodosian Dynasty.
Marcellus and Sigefrida stayed in the bath for some time. He had many tears to cry out, and should anyone intrude on his breakdown, it would ruin his reputation. It might even harm the authority he had carved for himself.
After the man was no longer capable of crying, he exited the bath with his lover. She latched onto his side like a lamprey, afraid that the slightest blow to his current mental state might drive him to do something foolish.
As a result, she stated to the guards that he wasn’t feeling well, before leading Marcellus into the bedchamber. She did not plan to take advantage of his weakened state to do anything sinful. Instead, she climbed into the bed with her master and merely cuddled with him. Hoping that she could provide some comfort and speak to him about important matters.
“Marcellus, I don’t know what you said to Placidia, but you broke her heart… You know that you and I can never be together, at least not as a married couple. You are an emperor now, and you will need to think about having an heir soon.
Placidia may be a bit young, but in a couple of years she will be of age to marry, and I can think of nobody better than her to be your wife. When you are feeling better, you should approach the girl, and apologize for whatever it was that you said to her…”
Marcellus was silent for several minutes as he reflected upon what the woman had said. He rested his head on her substantial breasts as if they were the fluffiest of pillows. Ultimately, he broke the silence and revealed his thoughts on the matter.
“Placidia is like a little sister to me. However, she is of the Theodosian Dynasty. If I marry her, I could claim some legitimacy to the Western Throne. Especially if we have an heir together… There are many who call me a usurper behind closed doors, and are looking for any excuse to depose me.
When news spreads of what I have done to Hispania, it will spark another revolt. Or perhaps they will side with Constantine to overthrow me. If I wish to secure their support, then marrying Placidia would be a good first step… I guess I have no choice but to apologize to the girl. After all, she did confess her feelings to me, and I said nothing…”
Sigefrida did not respond, and simply caressed Marcellus’ head. She was fine being his slave lover. That was all she ever really desired in life. However, she knew Marcellus would need a proper wife, and she was certain that Placidia would tolerate their relationship. It was one of the reasons she was insistent on the idea of the two marrying. She finally spoke one last phrase of encouragement to Marcellus before the man drifted asleep.
“My heart bleeds for you, Marcellus. You have so many burdens to carry, and I can only do so much to help… Today, you can cry as much as you need to. However, tomorrow you must move past this grief and look towards reforging an empire that is on the brink.
I know your mother was important to you, but you know she is in a better place now… She is in the fields of Elysium, enjoying the peace that the gods have given her. So rest now and recover your strength. You will need it for what lies ahead…”
After hearing this, Marcellus drifted into a deep sleep. He would dream about his childhood, where he and his mother were able to live happily under Stilicho’s protection. This solemn dream would allow him to say goodbye to the woman properly, even if it was only in his mind. The next day, his vigor would be renewed, and though the pain of his mother’s death would still linger in his heart, it would no longer cripple him emotionally. Sigefrida was right. He would need to move forward from this tragedy if he wished to save the Empire from its fate.