Heart of Darkness

Angelica went back to the kitchen a little shaken. She was confused, shocked, pained, and saddened. She couldn't understand why someone would do that to themselves. How someone could do that to themselves? 

He had just looked fine, being nicely dressed and with fine hair. He spoke calmly and politely and then he did this. So many questions were going through her head and she had no one to confide in. She missed William. 

Going to the backyard she took a deep breath of fresh air and tried to gather herself. Then she went back to the kitchen and decided to serve lunch in case he changed his mind. 

Angelica waited for him at the lunch table but he never came down and the food became cold. At last, she decided to eat alone but she didn't feel hungry anymore. 

After cleaning up, she had nothing else to do so she decided to find the library and read for a while. There were so many books, she didn't know where to start. Most of them gathered dust so her gaze fell on the shelf with no dust. It must be the latest books Lord Rayven bought. Curious to see what kinds of books he read, she grabbed one of them and went to sit somewhere. 

It was a history book and she realized that most of them were. By now he must have read every history book that existed. The fact that he spent so much time reading told her how lonely he was. She knew she started reading after her mother passed away. It was a way to make time pass faster without feeling pain or loneliness. Books became her companions. 

After reading for a while Angelica felt tired and fell asleep on the couch. When she woke up the world was dark. Again she had to find her way through the darkness until she came to the only place with a source of light. The place where Lord Rayven liked to spend his nights, sitting near the fire. She wondered why he always sat there and watched the flames as if they spoke to him. 

Angelica approached him slowly but as usual, his gaze stayed fixed on the fire. She took notice of his hands that were wrapped in white cloth.

"Good evening." She greeted. 

He turned to her slowly and just looked at her before going back to watch the fire. 

"Would you like me to serve you some food? You didn't eat lunch." 

"Sit down." He told her with a calm yet firm tone.

Angelica did as she was told. She realized he had changed clothes again and his hair was combed back revealing his whole face. His obsidian eyes watched her through the light and shadows created by the fire. 

He never looked at her for too long. Most of the time, he avoided looking at her at all even before she came to him. 

"If you are going to stay here, we need to have some rules." He began. 

Angelica nodded. One of them was probably to never speak to him, or look at him. Well, at least she got to stay. 

"Don't ever come to my room or even that side of the castle." He said. 

She knew it. 

"I don't like light so don't bother lighting those candles." 

She nodded. Her brother was right. This man disliked everything. 

"And don't open the curtains. Don't clean my home. Don't call me for food. Don't call me at all and don't leave this place without my permission." 

Angelica nodded slowly. "How can I ask for permission if I can't come to you or call you?" 

He narrowed his eyes. "Are you trying to be smart Lady Davis?" 

Lady Davis? She realized that he never said her name. It was either Lady Davis or… Angel. 

"No My Lord. I just don't want to break your rules. It is your home after all." She smiled. 

"And don't smile." He told her with a frown. 

Angelica stopped smiling and gazed into his troubled eyes. Why did her smile disturb him so much?

He looked away from her face with lips pressed into a thin line. Angelica remained silent not knowing what to say. She watched the fire and listened to the crackling sound of burning wood. 

She didn't know how much time passed before he spoke again. "Do you still want to marry me?" He asked surprising her. 

He kept avoiding looking at her and she stared at him. What did this mean? Why was he suddenly asking? 

Her heart began to beat fast. When she didn't reply he turned to her, "forget it." He said. 

"No!" She hurried to say. "I… I was just surprised since you didn't like the idea before. I haven't changed my mind." She said. Even though she felt bad. That would mean she was still using him. Somehow she felt better when he rejected her. She deserved it. 

Rayven watched her again as if looking for something. 

"I can arrange for you to leave Kraghorn. You can start anew in another kingdom." He told her. 

"You would do that?" She asked. 

He nodded. "What would be your choice then?" 

Angelica's thoughts went in so many different directions. Another Kingdom? It sounded enticing. To start anew where no one knew her as a traitor's daughter or as a prostitute but even in another kingdom she would need a man to survive. And to start anew as a woman alone in a new world would be very difficult and she might end up in an even worse situation. 

"I won't have money." She said. 

"I'll give you as much as you need." 

"What about protection?" 

"I am sure you can buy it with money." He said. 

"Thank you for offering me all of that. I still haven't changed my mind." She said. 

He narrowed his eyes. "Why is that?" 

"There are certain things that can't be bought, My Lord." She told him. 

And her mother had always told her that a bird in the hand was better than two in the bush. 

Money couldn't buy her honesty, trust and genuine care. 

"What if I told you I wanted to marry you… for my own benefits?"

What could he benefit from marrying her? 

"I will be happy to benefit you, My Lord." She told him. 

She was doing the same after all. If she could do anything for him she would, but what was the benefit? 

"Think about it more carefully." He said. 

"Does this mean you accept my proposal?" She asked surprised. 

"Yes," He replied.