Heart of Darkness

  Natasha showed Angelica to a nicely decorated room where she could stay until she met her suitor, which she had arranged. Only now did she realize how terrified she was of meeting the man that could be her future husband if things went as planned. 

"Don't worry about your brother. Both our fathers have been to military camps. It has its benefits," Natasha told her. 

Angelica knew that already. She knew the other boys would give her brother a hard time but at least there he would have food and shelter and he would be alive. Her heart broke thinking she had to choose between those things for her brother. 

"I know. Thank you." Angelica smiled. 

"Alright. I will let you rest so you can impress Lord Scott tomorrow." She gave her a smile before closing the door to the room behind her. 

Once Natasha was out of sight, Angelica could finally breathe. She went to sit on the well-made bed and tried to calm down. Suddenly, her stomach was filled with dozens of butterflies that stabbed her like bees. 

"Everything will be alright." She told herself. 

If the man only looked past that she was a traitor's daughter she wouldn't have any other problems. 

Angelica spent the rest of her evening choosing the prettiest dress, jewelry, and styling her hair. She didn't want to risk anything and even if the man wanted to say no, she wanted to make it harder for him. 

When she was done preparing herself, she went to bed. Now she needed to prepare herself mentally. She tried to imagine what being married would look like, what it would feel like and what benefits would come with it. She would have food and shelter. 

As a married woman, people would eventually have to treat her like the new family she belonged to and let go of the title she got as a traitor's daughter. 

She wouldn't have to be afraid of going outside and being harassed anymore. Or even being harassed in her own home. 

Then she tried to think of the negative things. There was a possibility that her husband wouldn't be a good man or that he would be much older than her. He could mistreat her and not allow her to do much. She wouldn't be happy with him. 

In the end, it seemed like the good things of getting married overweight the bad things. She was being mistreated now anyway, and she wasn't much happier without getting married. 

Feeling a bit calmer now that she had sorted out her thoughts she closed her eyes and eventually fell asleep. 

When the morning came the sunlight peeking through the window woke her Angelica got out of bed and prepared herself for the day that could change her life forever. When she was satisfied with the way she looked, she walked out of the room. 

A maid stood waiting outside. "Lady Alden is waiting for you in the garden to have breakfast, My Lady." She informed and then motioned to follow her.

Angelica followed the maid to the garden where Natasha sat comfortably with a cup of tea in her hand. A smile lit up her face upon her arrival. 

"Good morning," Angelica greeted. 

"Good morning Angelica. Please come and sit." She motioned for her to sit at the table. 

Angelica went and sat down. 

"I see you have taken care of yourself. You look beautiful," Natasha complimented. 

"Thank you," Angelica replied. 

"I am glad you are here. It seems like the killing of young women is continuing." She said sipping her tea. 

"And you think it is Lord Rayven?" Angelica smiled. 

Hilde was the only one speaking positively about Lord Rayven. 

"No. I can't think of anyone doing this since I don't know the reason they are doing it. It is so strange." She said with a frown. 

Angelica agreed. 

"But these Lord and the King are indeed strange men. I wonder why any of them are not married. I don't know of anyone they are courting either. They have everything a woman would want. Even Lord Rayven might find someone with a greedy father who is ready to give away his daughter." Natasha said thoughtfully. 

Her father had been greedy but Angelica doubted he would give her to Lord Rayven. They needed to dare to speak to him first. 

Angelica didn't think the scars were the problem. It was the scars and the rumors and the strange place he chose to live in. Not to speak of his attitude. He was rude and ill-mannered. He hated everything and everyone it seemed. Yet she didn't dislike. How odd, she thought. 

She also wondered if Lord Rayven even wanted to get married. Would there be a woman he could like amongst all the things he hated? Would there be a woman who wouldn't be repulsed by him? 

He didn't seem like the kind who would accept to marry a woman who was only marrying him out of desperation. He was too proud for that. And she definitely was in a desperate situation but she wasn't any woman. She was a traitor's daughter. The last on earth he would accept to marry, being the king's man. A move like that would raise suspicions among the people as well as the king.

Angelica wanted to ask Natasha about her suitor. Lord Scott. What were the disadvantages he had that made him accept to see a traitor's daughter? But Natasha would probably not tell her the whole truth so Angelica decided to ask Lord Scott himself and see what he says. 

Lord Scott arrived in the afternoon to see her and Angelica felt her stomach turn in fear and anxiety. She watched the door waiting for him to enter the parlor anytime. 

A man dressed in a red jacket walked inside. His black leather boots made a clicking sound as he walked, mixing with the sound of her rapidly beating heart. He had golden hair that was combed nicely and tied at the back with a ribbon. The light wrinkles on his forehead deepened as he watched the room with his big, round brown eyes before his gaze settled on her. 

Angelica could see a faint smile curving his lips and she tried her best to stand still. 

Natasha went to welcome him and he walked further in. "This is Angelica." Natasha introduced. 

Before he could take her hand and kiss it Angelica curtsied forcing a smile on her face. "Lord Scott, it is nice to finally meet you." 

"The pleasure is mine." He smiled. 

Angelica guessed that he was in his mid-forties. He looked like the kind of man who spent hours drinking and gambling for some odd reason and never rinsed his mouth. His teeth were yellow and crooked as he smiled at her and when he sat down his large round belly stuck out. 

The way he looked at her unsettled her. Of course, Natasha would find her such a man. Angelica shivered inside. It felt like she could almost guess what he was thinking as he eyed her. No, she couldn't do this. 

She saw his mouth move but all she could hear was her heartbeat. She felt lightheaded. It must be the lack of sleep. But she couldn't keep her eyes open and soon she fainted. 

When she opened her eyes again, Natasha was looming over her. "Angelica, you scared me." She said. 

Angelica sat up carefully feeling her head throb. 

"What happened?" Natasha sat beside her. 

"I can't do this," Angelica groaned feeling pain in her head. "I'll pack my things and not disturb you anymore." 

"Are you sure? He agreed to marry you." 

Angelica couldn't deny that she hesitated for a while. This could change her life forever and she was afraid of making the wrong decision. What if she denied this man and never found one? What if she left the house and got attacked by angry people or maybe even came across the killer in town? 

She was an easy target now. And Natasha couldn't keep sending her food forever. Going back would mean starving to death. 

"Can you find me a job, even as a maid?" Angelica asked. 

She couldn't go around looking for work herself since she would be harassed as soon as she stepped outside. 

Natasha sighed. "I'll see what I can do." She said then left her to rest. 

Being a young lady and looking the way she looked, she wouldn't be safe even as a maid. Angelica had seen all those lustful glances but because she was under her father's protection no one had dared to do anything. Now they certainly would. And if something happened to her then, no one would ever marry her after losing her innocence. 

The next morning, Angelica decided to tell Natasha that she was ready to get married to Lord Scott. The finding work idea wasn't good. On her way to the garden, she heard whispers coming from outside. 

"Is she here?" 

"Yes, she is sleeping now." 

Angelica recognized the voices. The rest of her friends or former friends were here. 

"You should have seen her yesterday when she met Lord Scott. She fainted." Natasha said amused. 

The rest chuckled. "Poor Angelica. And I thought she would take the King from me." Hilde said. 

"Oh no. Don't worry. She is the last one on the Kings list now." Natasha said. 

Angelica turned around and went back to her room. She knew her friends didn't like her but it still hurt to hear them laugh at her situation. What more bad luck could they wish for her? She was at her lowest.