Heart of Darkness

There was no place or no position they had not tried and if not for his blood, she would not be able to walk normally. Everytime she told herself she would help him crave less, he would do something new that would make her wonder and say ‘just this once’ or ‘this is the last time’.

But today was NOT going to happen. She had even dressed for it. Layers of clothes so she would have time to pull herself together if she lost her mind. Not that it would help with his newfound abilities where he could undress her before she could utter a word, but often liked to take his time. He found pleasure in teasing her or just the chase.

She found herself on his sofa, in his new home in the demon world. The place where their beasts came out. He reached for the straps on her dress as his mouth cast spell on hers. She could no longer speak and when she tried to protest with her hands they betrayed her instead. She fell back on the sofa, holding onto him, bringing him down with her. His mouth ventured down and then he chuckled.

He pulled back. “What are all the clothes for?” He asked.

“To stop you,” she could finally speak.

“Me?”

“Myself.” She corrected.

“You just say no,” he told her confused. “Or did I not hear you?” He asked worriedly.

“No, I did not say no.”

He nodded slowly as if understanding. “I am too much. I know.” He said removing himself apologetically.

“No. You are not.” She said sitting up.  “I don’t mind. I mean I am wearing this just to convince myself. It is just that I want you to enjoy other things too and not be haunted by this hunger. I want you to feel fulfilled longer and not be tortured.”

He leaned with his shoulder against the backrest, looking defeated. She could now tell when he was extremely hungry, but she told herself not to go back on her plan because she felt bad for him. This would not be good for him in the long run. She had to help him the right way.

“I might never get better. It is not getting better, Roxana and I hate it.” He whispered the last part. The defeated look in his eyes became worse. She could tell sometimes that he thought of himself as a burden to her.

“It will BUT it will get worse for a while,” she told him, deciding to be tough on him now. Just then the doorbell rang and Alexander turned his head.

“What is happening?” He asked.

Right on time. “I ordered food.” She told him with an amused smirk. Some torture for him but she would not be sad about it so she could get through it. She would see this as something positive and the first step to something better.

She went to answer the door and brought the packages of food inside. She served them on the table and she could see Alexander’s eyes scanning and judging.

“There is not much meat in here.” He pointed.

That was exactly the point.

She sat him on the couch. “No. Not everything can be meat, Alex. Sometimes you need greens as well.”

“I don’t like them.” He said with a frown.

He enjoyed no vegetables and the only fruit he ate was apples. Not because he enjoyed it. It seemed as if he ate them to chew his frustration away. But meat… poor meat or animals… he ate them. Lots and lots.

“This looks delicious,” she tried to cheer him on as she handed him the fork.

He looked at the potatoes, carrots, and broccoli. She picked a carrot to feed him. He opened his mouth but then chewed it with distaste.

“Alex, be a little more optimistic. Try.”

“Optimistic?” he said stabbing the poor broccoli with his fork. “This looks like a bush. I am eating a tree.”

He was like a child right now. She found it funny.

“This is horrible,” he said looking at the vegetable as if he was terrified of it when he could speak of killing and torturing so casually.

“Do it for me,” she smiled feeling like the evil stepmother.

p He put it in his mouth and chewed grimly. Now she felt bad. “Does it really taste that bad?”

He stopped having that pained expression and chewed normally. “No. It is fine,” he said, but she knew he was only saying it for her.

She knew vegetables could be difficult to eat so she also ordered sweets, fruit mixes, and many other delicious foods in the demon world, just so he could find something else to enjoy besides meat. To be able to control his hunger for it, he would have to minimize eating it gradually but having something else he enjoyed could help.

Roxana studied him carefully as he tried out the different foods but his eyes always went back to the meat. She would have to ask his grandmother for help on this one and perhaps uncle Ben as well. Ask him to make his delicious casserole of vegetables.

Alexander continued to eat but she could almost feel his frustration and torture as he chewed and chewed even if he did his best to hide it.

“Alright, stop.” She said, unable to endure it.

He looked at her surprised. “Why?”

“Just… eat your meat.”

He smiled but didn’t stop eating. He was more willing to try now and when he picked up the meat, he fed her instead.

She chewed shaking her head. “Why are you torturing yourself?”

“I crave many things but nothing comes close to how much I crave you. All of you,” he told her, gazing into her eyes.

She smiled. “Don’t make me cry,” she said.

“You should. I mean… I even ate broccoli for you. What man goes that far for the woman he loves?” He stabbed another broccoli and she chuckled.

“Indeed. You are so brave, my love.” She said stroking his hair.