Heart of Darkness

Angelica was in the privy chamber in Rayven's home. He called it a bathroom and she had never seen anything like it before. It was much larger than a private chamber and much brighter and cleaner. The walls were covered with white tiles and the toilet was made of white porcelain. They had a different-looking basin that was attached to the wall and it had faucets with never-ending water. Just like the shower place he showed her. 

Angelica had never seen a shower before. Humans bathed. But now she could stand and have water rush over her whole body while she focused on washing herself. What a fascinating thing she thought. Getting clean here was much easier than back in the human world. 

What fascinated and shocked her the most though, was the fact that she could have both cold and hot water depending on which faucet handle she turned on. This had to be magic. Where did the hot water come from? And how could it go from cold to hot and then back to cold so fast? Was this some demon thing whatever that meant? 

Angelica's thoughts drifted away to everything she had learned about demons. They were evil creatures that manipulated humans to sin and turn from God. Strangely she hadn't thought about those things when Rayven told her he was a demon. Maybe that was why she had a hard time believing him. He wasn't how she had imagined demons to look like. But he could compel. He said he could manipulate minds and he could clearly manipulate hers. Was there a way she could know if she was being manipulated? 

She shook her head. Why would Rayven manipulate her? That was not how she saw him. He was not that kind of person in her head even when he used to be mean and despite the few times that he manipulated her. 

Angelica knew that he thought bad of himself and she had learned that demons were evil but she had learned to trust her strong instinct and now that she remembered her mother's words she was paying even more attention to her gut feeling. Her mother must have told her that for a reason. 

Could this have to do with her fear of fangs? Fear was her instinct when she saw fangs and maybe that was why her fear was so strong because her instinct was strong. Perhaps her mother knew that one day the shades would come looking for her, that the man who tortured the woman she was connected to in her mind would come back looking for her and her instinct would warn her. 

Her stomach turned thinking of all the problems she would have to face when she went back to the human world. Had she been alone she wouldn't have been so frightened but two people she cared about were involved that could get hurt because of her. Or three people perhaps? She was also concerned about the King. Knowing she was connected to him through Ramona didn't make her feel better about thinking about him. Rayven wouldn't like that. 

Angelica would have sacrificed herself if she wasn't the only person her brother had left and if she knew Rayven would be alright. She had pulled him from the brink of death and was afraid he would go back to the darkness if she left him. 

Where was he at now? She knew he was still struggling. She had wanted to help him but she had become weak and sick and unable to help anyone, even herself. 

Looking into the tall mirror, she examined her naked body. She had lost a little weight but it wasn't that bad. She had never been one to worry about her looks or think that she didn't look good. Well, it was hard to think that way when the only thing she was complimented for was her appearance. So why did she suddenly start to care about how she looked?

Angelica never thought she would want to look her best for someone else? She often tried to downplay her looks, just to avoid everyone's gazes but now every woman in this world looked good. Suddenly she wasn't the one everyone stared at and she felt like she finally blended in but it also made her wonder if that was the reason Rayven never looked at her with lust before. Because he was used to seeing beautiful women and she wasn't exceptional in that regard.

Now, he definitely looked at her with lust in his eyes. They became a smoldering black that made her heart race, but things were different. They were married and they knew more about each other. They had time for feelings to develop and maybe he had come to desire her more with time. Still, she knew desire and love were separate things. 

Angelica might not understand her feelings all the time but she didn't like to deny them or run away. She wanted to understand. She was too curious to hide or run away for too long.

Usually, the times she denied them was when her mind, her heart, and her instinct told her completely different things. What was she supposed to do then? She liked to follow her heart and with her mind understand those feelings but what if her mind didn't agree or couldn't understand? And what if her instinct disagreed with both her heart and mind? 

She faced this dilemma when Rayven told her about his past. Her mind knew he was telling the truth, her heart wished to not accept it because it had seen the good but her instinct had told her something else altogether. Something that was just a feeling that she couldn't quite understand until she saw him standing on the balcony rim. Maybe that was the thing with instinct. Only when faced with the real situation would it appear and give answers. This could be the solution to Constantine. She would have to face him because there was more to her instinct when it came to him and she wouldn't be able to understand the feeling if she kept running away and hiding. 

Putting those thoughts aside she picked up her nightgown and slid into it. It was a short, sleeveless silken dress in white. She didn't mind since she hadn't bled the whole day. But the underwear was strange. It was small, uncomfortable, and only covered a little. These demons really liked small clothing. After combing her damp hair she left the bathroom. 

When she walked into the chamber, the lights were different. It was dimly lit and Rayven sat at the edge of the bed and seemed lost in thought. Angelica slowly walked closer and he looked up at her. As his gaze traveled over her body, his eyes darkened in a way that made her heart race, but then as if regaining control over them, they returned to normal, and he smiled at her. 

"How did it feel to shower?" He asked. 

"It was refreshing," she replied. 

He reached his hand out and she placed her hand in his before he gently pulled her. He made her sit on his leg and her legs ended up between his. One of his arms came around her waist and he leaned in and kissed her shoulder. 

"Did you like your stay here so far?" 

Angelica nodded, "yes." 

He rested one hand on her thigh and that alone made her body come alive. Maybe because she was wearing less clothes. Either way, she was overreacting. He wasn't even touching her bare skin but she wanted him to. 

"You are probably tired. Do you want to sleep?" 

All those nights, he had held back because he knew she was bleeding. Was he still doing so? Did he think that she was still bleeding?

"Do you want to sleep?" she asked him. 

He smiled. "You know I don't need much sleep." 

Angelica's heart skipped a beat. "I can stay awake," she said. 

"What do you want to do then?" 

Now her heart was beating faster. "Anything you like." 

He chuckled amused. Then he grabbed her chin and turned her head to look into her eyes. His dark once seemed to stare right into her soul. "What do you like, Angelica? What do you want?" 

Angelica stopped breathing as her thoughts drifted to their moment earlier in this room. He had told her what he wanted and she didn't want to make him wait anymore. She didn't want to wait either. He had awakened something in her and now she was restless. 

His hand traveled down her back and up again in a soft caress and his other hand slowly traveled up her leg and thigh, moving her gown up to bare her thighs. His lips played across her arm and Angelica closed her eyes. 

"What do you want, Angelica?" He asked as his hand began to caress her thigh, his fingers slowly shifting to her inner thigh. 

Angelica curled her toes as waves of heat went straight to her core. Rayven buried his face in her neck, his wet mouth teasing the sensitive flesh. "Tell me," he murmured his fingers inching higher up her inner thigh. It was as if he knew exactly where she wanted to be touched. 

Angelica fought back the urge to clasp her legs together while also wanting to part them. She bit her bottom lip to stifle the sound that rose to her throat when his fingers continued their search up. The moment he touched her where she ached through the underwear she jerked in his hold and a small pleading sound left her throat. 

"I didn't hear you," he said, nipping at her throat. 

Angelica's breath came out in shallow pants and she couldn't help but clasp her legs together at the building pressure of his touch. 

Abruptly he stopped and then shifted them so she was lying on the bed beneath him. A short moment of panic settled in. 

What if it was horrible? Or only painful as she heard some say? What if he didn't like it or her? And what was she supposed to do or was expected to do? She knew there was no pleasure in this for her. She was only supposed to please him. Then why did it feel good? Why did she anticipate it? 

Rayven must have seen the panic in her eyes because he paused and then pulled away. "I am in no rush. I can wait," he said. 

He was about to remove himself from her completely when she pushed herself up and grabbed the sleeve of his robe. He looked at her with a frown and she opened her mouth to say something but didn't know what. 

Rayven watched her, waiting for her to speak. Angelica felt her face burn as the words formed in her mind and she moved her lips to speak.. "I want you to take pleasure from me," she said.