Heart of Darkness

Rayven was surprised that she let him stay and even hold her after telling him what she saw. This while his fangs were still out. He wouldn't have been hurt even if she asked him to leave. He knew she did not fear him and that it was the fangs that triggered her. His fear hadn't been of rejection this time, but of evoking bad memories in her and he did. 

She had been abused. 

His heart tightened. Being bitten without consent was not only painful but also degrading. It was as if she had been through the whole branding process once again and maybe even worse since this was done several times to her. And now she had to be with him and see the thing that had been used on her to abuse her. It was as if someone forced him to see his father every day. He wouldn't be able to stand it. 

Rayven knew abuse all too well. He had been abused and been the abuser. Both left a stain on his soul. Even after killing his father, his abuse had affected him until this day. He could remember all the times he tore him down and apart clearly in his head as if it was yesterday. He might not be afraid of his father anymore, but it had taken him a long time to get where he was. 

How was Angelica going to heal if she kept seeing new images, one worse than the one before each time? Hopefully, it wouldn't get worse than this. It would be too much. 

Rayven held her in his arms until she decided to pull away from him. She took a deep breath. "I am alright now," she said. She looked at him with guilt again. He shook his head in response. "I am sorry I am like this." 

No! No! Why was she apologizing when it wasn't her fault? And what could he even say to make this better? He was just pained, angry, and sad that she had to go through this. 

"You are here with me despite everything," he said. 

"It is just because I am more scared if you leave," she told him. 

"That is still very brave of you," she had already made a step forward. He never thought she would ask him to see his fangs this soon and even be this calm after they evoked bad memories. 

"I need to lie down," she said lying down carefully as if afraid to fall. 

"Yes. You need to rest." He told her and adjusted the pillow for her. Then he tucked her under the blanket and set fire in the hearth before lying down beside her. 

"I will have to see him sooner or later," she whispered. Her eyes were empty, probably trying to be brave. 

"It is alright to be afraid," he told her. 

"Why does he want my blood?" She wondered. 

Rayven wasn't sure and one way to find out would be to taste her blood but he wasn't going to ask her to do that. At least not now. 

"I don't know." 

"Does it hurt? The biting?" 

Rayven watched her for a moment. He knew the answer she hoped for was no but he couldn't lie to her. Biting without consent could be very painful. With consent, it could be both painful and pleasurable. With her past experience, it would probably only be painful for her. 

"Yes," he replied. "It is a painful pleasure when you want it." 

"Pleasure?" 

He could understand her confusion. Who would see biting as pleasurable? 

He smiled. "You don't have to worry about it."

"How could I not? We are married and this is part of who you are. And… it is what you want."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again. How could she worry about what he wanted right now? 

"I thought I told you what I want. I want you more than anything. I could tear my fangs out if they didn't just grow back. I don't care about them." 

She frowned. "Don't ever do that."

He chuckled and she smiled. 

God, he would do that for her. He would tear his fangs out if he could hold her soft body in his arms without the fear of frightening her. He didn't know what memories his fangs would bring back next time but something told him it would be worse. If the shade only wanted her blood he could have gotten it without hurting her which meant that she was tortured. He didn't want to know where else she could have been bitten or what else could have been done to her. A beautiful lady like her, there were many possible horrors and Rayven felt sick to his stomach. 

He felt her heartbeat accelerate. She was thinking of something that frightened her. 

"Maybe I should see your fangs again. Maybe… I will find out more."

Rayven nodded. "Not now." 

He knew she wanted to find answers but she hadn't even fully recovered from the previous incident and he feared what she would see this time. 

"Why not?" She looked confused. 

"Because it is my duty to protect you, even from yourself. You don't know when to stop and you have seen enough for today. I don't want you to get sick again."

She smiled. "Are you tired of taking care of me?" 

"No. I want you to recover fast so I can have you without holding back." 

Her lips parted and her face turned red. 

Rayven always realized too late that he was very blunt with this innocent woman. But now he had been blunt on purpose so she wouldn't insist but it was still true. 

Take it easy, he told himself.

But how could he now? She had been so soft, so sweet and so willing in his arms. He had felt her need as strong as his own. He had meant to seduce her but ended up being seduced. He thought she would stop first but became the one to stop. God, this woman was beyond his games. Even if she didn't know what she wanted she didn't deny herself once those feelings came. She was shy for a demon but bold for a human female. Not that he minded her shyness. Something happened inside him every time she blushed. He wanted to kiss her senseless. 

His body stiffened and he almost cursed. He shouldn't think about those things now but he only had himself to blame. He would have to spend a night in bed with her without doing anything sinister. How would he survive? 

Angelica remained quiet after his confession but he could hear her heartbeat faster for another reason this time. Was she also thinking back on the moment they had? 

He sat up, grabbed the blanket to cover himself for their safety. 

"Good night," she whispered at last when both remained quiet. 

"Good night, " he said keeping his distance. 

Their conversations were strange. They could just end like that. 

The night was long for both of them. He knew she was awake a long time after they both turned away from each other. And then they both kept turning back and forth. Rayven couldn't stand the heat at last and went outside to get some cold air. 

Angelica could probably use some cold air too. What was he thinking making the woman frustrated when he couldn't touch her? At least he caused his own frustration but she didn't ask for it. He was being mean but he couldn't help but feel a little happy that she felt the same way as him.

In the early morning, he went to the bathing house. He could use a very cold bath and when he was done, he was about to leave his clothes there when he remembered Angelica's scolding. 

He sighed. "Alright, alright," he muttered to himself grabbing his clothes from the floor before teleporting back. Where would he put them now? He just threw them somewhere in the corner of the room before looking for new ones. 

As he combed his hair he heard Angelica stir in her sleep. She was waking up. He turned around as she sat up. She yawned then ran her fingers through her hair to adjust it. 

"Are you leaving?" She said looking at him. 

"Yes. Make sure to…" 

"... eat breakfast and lunch and then rest," she finished the sentence for him. 

"Yes," he said as he put his jacket on. 

Angelica yawned again. 

"Sleep some more. It is still early." He told her. 

She lay down again and covered herself. He knew she was tired since they had been awake almost the whole night. 

"When will you come back?" she asked. 

"Just call my name when you want me to come back," he joked. 

She lifted her head to see if he was serious. He kept a straight face to see if she would try to call him. 

"Sleep well," he said and left her behind. 

When he went to the castle people kept staring at him as he walked through the halls. His scars had healed even more and he didn't scar himself. He itched for something else last night. 

When he arrived at the morning meeting the Lords, generals, and everyone else stared at him. Except for Acheron and Skender. They seemed to be dealing with something else. 

They were usually the ones to lead the meeting but Rayven realized something was wrong when Vitale was suddenly the one speaking the most. 

"What is happening?" He asked Lazarus telepathically. 

Lazarus shrugged. Lately, he had noticed that Ash and Zarus didn't spend a lot of time together as before. He wondered if they had a fight. Acheron didn't look like before either. He seemed to get worse every day. His eyes were getting emptier. 

Rayven looked at Skender.. He seemed to be listening but his eyes were absent.