Harry Potter: A Certain Ancient Rune Professor of Hogwarts (TL)

Over the next two days, Felix found himself always bumping into Filch on various occasions.

From the staff common room and the Ancient Rune classroom to the entrance to the great hall and behind one of the armour in the corridor, his reserved and flattering face could be seen from time to time … Felix waited for news of the Weasley twins’ detention, but it was completely uneventful. He guessed Filch must have spent all his time figuring out how to have a ‘chance meeting’ with him.

On the third morning, Filch crouched at the door of the Ancient Rune office with a bucket, rags, and other cleaning tools, huffing and puffing as he went through his work.

“Hello …” Filch flashed his mouthful of big yellow teeth, “Professor Hap, I noticed the entrance is a bit dirty …”

“Come in and have a seat, Mr. Filch.”

Filch nimbly dashed in as he brushed past him, displaying agility that was completely out of proportion to his age. His eyes seemed to lit up at the sight of Valen, who was self-entertaining herself on the sofa, controlling a bunch of little coloured figures as they danced with her exclusive wand.

“Mr. Filch?” Felix called twice before he snapped back to attention.

Filch rubbed his hands together and said flatteringly, “Your Niffler is really smart, and it is rumoured she also can write.”

“Thanks.” Felix said briefly, “Bang.” As he closed the door.

…

“I’m a Squib, Mr. Hap.” Filch whispered, “A Squib is a-”

“I know the definition of a Squib.” Felix said, “We can move to the point a little faster, as I noticed you seem to be dwelling on it for a long time.”

“Oh, okay, yeah.” Filch said wretchedly, “Squib … er, we were never taken seriously, just a second class citizen, not even as good as those house-elves, at least they can use magic … you don’t know, how I have to carry the kerosene lamp and fight with the mischievous, dumb kids on a daily basis. …”

“I remember the school purchasing a stock of small magic lamps.” Felix reminded him.

“Yes, yes, but that light was too bright to catch without alerting them.” Filch said wryly.

Felix was silent, not wanting to comment whatsoever about the war between Filch and the students. All he knew is that Hogwarts needed someone to help keep order, lock the doors at night, and clean the castle at their leisure, so there is Filch.

Filch did a good job, but he likewise extended his power boundlessly, repeatedly suggesting for the school to reinstate corporal punishment, the underlying root cause of which was naturally due to his jealousy towards the students.

At the same time, Felix understood the reason why Felch came to the door.

“… We don’t even have a birth record! The only way to prove our existence is by looking up our parents’ names … When I was ten and hadn’t shown any magical abilities, my family was frustrated. When I turned eleven, naturally, I didn’t receive my letter from Hogwarts, and they started talking about sending me away to a Muggle school, but it didn’t happen because there was a war going on outside at the time!” Old Filch gasped, “People were dying everywhere, and they were so frightened that they decided to leave me behind … and pretend that they didn’t have me because I disgraced them and other relatives of the family stopped showing up at our door … ”

“Professor Hap – Mr. Hap – you can naturally see how much ridicule I have received, having spent my adult life wandering the wizarding world on my own, and if it hadn’t been for the encouragement of Lady Oakby… …”

“Idris Oakby?” Felix asked.

“It is her. She is a good person, better than anyone. Too bad she died ten years ago, it’s true that good people don’t live long …,” Filch said emotionally.

Felix blinked; he had heard similar remarks back in the headmaster’s office, where the chubby Slughorn was eating an icing pineapple while lamenting the misfortune of one of his favourite students, Lily. Felix thought these words were entirely heartfelt, as Slughorn had forked out a small vial of Felix Felicis.

As for the Oakby that Filch spoke of, her full name is Idris Oakby and her only widely known contribution was the establishment of the Society for the Support of Squibs, a society dedicated to helping the Squibs living in the magical world in any way they could …

Oakby died ten years ago at the age of 113. But in Filch’s words, it became “good people don’t live long” …

“More than twenty years ago, I was doing odd jobs all over the place, not even able to buy newspapers, and scavenging for leftovers every day, until one day,” Filch suddenly beamed, as his eyes widened, “do you know what I saw?”

“A job posting?”

Felix conjured up in his mind the image of a cynical, cranky, idle, headstrong, stubborn, middle-aged man: doing a menial job with a fire of jealousy inside him. Of course, he had better options, but he had spent his entire childhood in the wizarding world, and letting Filch leave would be tantamount to killing him. So he muddled along until one day the middle-aged man got his hands on a newspaper from the trash – or from some wizard on the street – that changed his fate forever.

After seeing the job posting on it, his life took a turn, and thus the Filch, the Caretaker of Hogwarts born.

“That’s right! Finally, I made it to Hogwarts! Thirty years late, but still made it, and I saw the young students, sir, and you don’t know how envious I was of them …” Filch looked frantic, part of his face strangely contorted and trembling as if spilling out his dark inner secrets unimpeded for the first time.

Valen, who was playing with the colourful little figures, was stunned and stared blankly at Filch, whose expression was out of control. She looked at the Great Demon King and then at Filch, wondering whether to slip out and call his cat over, as Filch’s nose was about to drip a bucket of snot.

Luckily Filch pulled a dirty handkerchief out of his pocket just in time. He blew his nose so hard in a fit of anger that made the edge of the handkerchief fly around. Filch looked up, showing his red nose, and smiled curtly, “Mr. Hap, I’m sorry to make you see this. You are one of the few people at school who have helped me, and I feel no reason to hide -”

He met a pair of silver eyes, the silver glow covering the pupils and whites of the eyes. He had never seen such a sight before and was unable to speak in terror.

“Filch, do you know the definition of a Squib?” Felix asked.

Filch felt puzzled, he had tried to explain it at the beginning of the conversation, only to be stopped by Felix, and now Felix had brought the subject up again, Filch thought he was being mocked, and his face turned ugly.

“Like many concepts in the magical world, Squib is rather a broad concept, and we can define it from all angles.” Felix said steadily, “The common definition in the magical world deems someone – who was born in a wizard family, but unable to demonstrate any magical ability – as a Squib.”

Filch looked at him blankly.

“Professor Haa-Hap?”

“I hope you’ll notice the subtle distinction here, it’s the key to keep this conversation going-” Filch’s face showed a clear confusion, but he meekly shut his mouth. Professor Hap’s expression at the moment was somewhat frightening. “- Many parents can’t actually be sure if their child is a Squib, there’s no way to be sure … what really kills their hope is the letter of notification from Hogwarts, and if it’s received, they are naturally not a Squib. Even if his spell casting at the beginning was crappy … have you actually had the experience of casting a spell?” Felix asked coldly.

Filch froze, and stammered, “I haven’t, never-”

“No, you don’t understand me …” Felix’s silver eyes gazed at him and stared at the meagre magic inside him that looked like stubborn stone, but it was an exaggerated metaphor; magic and stone were two different things from every sense of the word. They could not be the same.

Felix murmured, “Not some complete spell, one of those tiny, accidental experiences that you had dismissed only as an illusion: rattling a small piece of paper, breaking a cup with just a little force when you were angry … you had that experience, hadn’t you?”

“I …” Filch thought hard and put on a pondering face, “I think I have … yes!” He suddenly shouted, startling Valen again, and she held up her little wand in front of her. Filch tried his best to keep his eyes wide as they shone with reminiscence, “I remember a particularly stubborn stain a few years ago, I used up a whole bottle of detergent, and it didn’t go away, I just kept staring at it for a while in a frustration… watching it in a bit of a trance, and then it was gone… . Does that count?”

He looked at Felix with an expectant look on his face.

“We can try.” Felix said with great interest, jumping up from his armchair as though he would sooner witness an interesting piece of spectacle.

Half an hour later, Filch left excitedly.

“Mr. Filch,” Felix called to him from behind, “your magical response is too weak if you don’t mind me asking-”

“Oh no, this is good enough for me,” Filch grinned gleefully, holding a small, jewelled wooden wand in his hand, “even if it only works once in ten times, it’s still a godsend for me!”

But not for me, Felix thought to himself.

Upon closer examination, he realized that the magical fluctuations in Filch’s body were far weaker than Valen’s. Even comparing Valen and Filch together was somewhat bullying; Valen may be a Niffler, but she is a normal Niffler, not a Squib Niffler.

In terms of talent, she simply beats Filch by a landslide.

It took a lot of effort on Felix’s part to make it slightly more useful by adding a whole five ‘amplification circuits’ in the end. The final result, the small wooden wand in Filch’s hand, had seven gems inlaid on it: one to store magic, five inscribed with amplification circuits, and only the last one containing the actual magic, the Scouring Charm.

That is all he could achieve for now.

Felix pulled back his tangled thoughts and said calmly, “You misunderstand, Argus. I meant to say that your situation is typical, and I’m going to take some time to study a few more similar cases – not now, of course – and I assume you know some friends who share your plight?”

Filch blinked twice and asked tentatively, “You’d like to get to know them?”

Felix shrugged, “As you said, the Ministry of Magic doesn’t have their names. It’s pretty hard to find them …”

After closing the door, Felix sat down on the couch to play the Exploding Snap Cards with Valen.

But his thoughts had wandered elsewhere.

The Squibs had always played the role of the invisible people, and by contrast, the Ministry of Magic’s recent stream of incentives and enticements for werewolves to register voluntarily spoke volumes about everyone’s attitude.

One Filch certainly doesn’t matter, but the group of Squibs is a natural link between the wizarding world and the ordinary world. If the wizarding world would ever be forced to go public, the best person Felix could think of to travel between the two worlds would be the Squibs group.

Felix seemed to see a second trump card beckoning him … Well, he decided to ignore it, for now, Voldemort is still alive and kicking. He decided to leave the preliminary work to the employees of ‘Future World’ Company.

Gotta find something for them to do.

“Kee! (You lost!)”

Felix snapped back to find Valen darting around with a small notebook, ‘On a certain date, month and year, the Great Demon King lost for the first time against the Genius Niffler Valen …’ After peeking from the side, Felix confiscated the notebook in annoyance.

“This one doesn’t count, let’s play another hundred games!”

…

In the last Ancient Rune class before Christmas, Felix looked down from the podium at the students who were completely out of the mood for class.

“Professor, Professor Flitwick had allowed us to have free time in his class.” One student boldly hinted. His words drew a low murmur of agreement, “Yes, Professor, you only need to spend two minutes at the end to assign our assignment.” Another student chipped in boldly.

Felix looked at them with a wry smile, “That’s not impossible. I’ll assign the assignment first and after that, if you still feel you all need free time for the rest of the class, I’m all for it …”

A suppressed cheer had risen from below the podium as the two students who had spoken had enjoyed heroic attention.

“Given that some students will not be able to cast spells during the holidays, I will not assign any practical assignments. The whole thing is on the ‘answer space’ where you will find a new gift sign on it … the one that is hanging on the Christmas tree, and yes, that is your holiday assignment.”

The students opened their parchments.

Harry stared at the ‘Christmas tree’ in incredulity: there is a small, silly-looking lion at the bottom of the tree. It kept jumping up and down, pawing at the gift box hanging on the branch, which naturally turned out to be a waste of effort.

There is also a pattern of a glowing wand next to the gift box.

He turned his head to see Hermione excitedly poking her wand at it, and the gift box in the tree immediately fell down and was pounced on by the impatient lion cub. “Bang!” The lion cub was drowned in test papers.

“Quite a novelty, isn’t it?” She said gleefully.

“Yeah, it looks kinda festive.” Harry muttered, not a trace of joy visible on his face.

“You guys get it, O.W.Ls year.” Felix said cheerfully from the podium, after a moment, only to pretend he had just seen the sad atmosphere in the classroom, “Oh come on, I always wanted you all to be happy with your studies … Here’s the deal, I can give you an offer.”

All the students looked up.

“If you can prove to me that you have indeed mastered this part of the subject, I can consider my assignments to be nothing more than a repetition of meaningless labour … and will reduce them appropriately.” Felix said with extremely sinister intentions, “I have specially prepared a test that is not compulsory, as it is really not good to have a test before Christmas …”

The students who had just been clamouring for free time were dumbfounded, they stared blankly for a good while, then finally looked at Felix.

“Hurry up with the papers, Professor!” One student yelled.

This statement basically marked the end of the open battle between the professor and the students, with the students’ side losing out.

Of course, they thought it was a good deal.

Harry had spread out his thick test sheet and was just about to answer the questions when Hermione jostled the sheet. He couldn’t help but glance to the side to find Hermione quickly skimming the whole paper with a look of delight.

The paper had been divided into ten sections, with translations, deductions of meaning, and an examination of the twelve steps involved in making the amulet. Harry immediately started with the section he is best at, considering what the professor had just said. Ron on the other side of the room just sulked and answered the questions, and Harry had to reluctantly give up after Ron failed to catch the answer even though he had mouthed the answer twice.

Time passed, and the only sound in the classroom was the subtle rustle of quills on parchment, which was pleasing to the ear.

Finally, the bell rang.

Harry lifted his head and looked around the classroom. Noticed that only a few students had finished answering their papers, and only Hermione stared at the paper for inspection, mumbling something under her breath.

“Stop answering questions.” Felix announced, as all the test papers flew towards him, and stacked neatly in a row on the lectern. “I’ll finish marking them before the holidays … Okay, you can leave now.”

The students exchanged looks of excitement and thrill with each other as they gathered their things and left the classroom in a line.

“You guys leave first.” Draco Malfoy said to his two followers, Crabbe and Goyle scrunched their faces into a frown as if they didn’t quite understand until he said it again, to which they shrugged and walked off alone.

Draco stood in front of Felix, a fine bead of sweat seeping from the tip of his nose.

“It’s like this, Professor Hap-” he stammered.

Felix raised a hand to stop him and turned his head to glare at Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who are still dawdling in the doorway, refusing to leave, “Bang!” The door slammed shut in front of them. “Now you can talk.”

Draco froze for a moment and whispered, “Professor, I wanted to ask if you are free for Christmas, I’d like to invite you to the house …”

“Lucius asked you to ask?” Felix calmly questioned.

Draco looked up at him, unable to tell from that face whether he was happy or not. And he stammered, “No, no, it’s me … I think … well, you’ve always taken good care of me, teaching me not only the Disillusionment Charm and Apparition but even the advanced magic like Occlumency, which if my father found out, he would have let me express my gratitude.”

Felix looked down at him, his light yellow hair and pointed chin identical to his father’s. Felix didn’t speak for half a second.

“Don’t think too much about a lot of things, it is not your turn to get involved in this mess, for now, all you need to do is enjoy a pleasant holiday.”

“But Potter and the gang-” Draco said defiantly as a flush rose to his pale face.

“They’re not like you.” Felix said firmly, “Merry Christmas to you in advance, Mr. Malfoy.”

Draco turned away stiffly as he pushed the door open – “Draco?” He heard the professor’s voice say and Draco looked back with excitement. Professor Hap had stood in front of the huge window, the clean, clear sunlight from outside spilling into the classroom and casting itself on the professor’s back. It made it completely impossible for him to see the man’s face as he squinted his eyes.

” Is your wand made of hawthorn wood?” The professor asked.

“Yes, Professor.” Draco said.

“A wand of this material is particularly suitable for healing magic, you might consider it.”

————

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