Harry Potter: A Certain Ancient Rune Professor of Hogwarts (TL)

The owl flew into the blue sky with the letter, soon turning into a small black dot and finally disappearing, and Felix had a feeling that it is going to be a long journey.

During the last academic year, he had several exchanges with Jura, in which he mentioned some of his real ideas in a broad sense, such as using newspapers to gain public support, using the institutional approach to improve regulations, accumulating experience with trial projects, being strong enough to protect himself, and having enough patience.

The experience of his newly befriended pen pal warrants his caution; a moment of haste would inevitably make him an enemy of the world, and although he is confident that he will not end up in Grindelwald’s position, but the very fact of not being able to realize the vision he has in mind is a failure, not to mention plunging the world into chaos.

If Felix had to describe his state of mind, the only thing he can come up with now is a philosophical paradox – the Theseus Paradox.

The ship of Theseus, which had been at sea for centuries, would have its planks replaced as soon as a piece rot, and so on until every single plank and rope on that ship was not the same as the original one. So is that ship still the original Theseus, or is it a completely different ship?

There are many more questions that arise from this, but Felix is not interested in answering them, and especially will not debate them with anyone. Because such problems have a unified feature, that is, there are no universally accepted criteria for judging them; everyone has a different interpretation of what is new and what is old, what is part, and what is whole.

His approach is a little more pragmatic. Felix is clear about one thing: if the ship had never replaced its rotten planks and had not been regularly maintained, it would never have lasted the centuries of turmoil and corrosion of the sea, and then no one would have thought about this torturous question later on because the ship would’ve been no more.

The same would apply even if that ship is a Ship of Wizards.

Felix is going to be the one who keeps replacing the planks, and as for who will be the philosopher who will shatter the sandbox, Felix smiles wryly, who cares! He just hoped that this person would appear as late as possible. Better to wait until he had hammered the wizard’s ship from top to bottom for the people on board to find out in surprise: how is it different from the original?

“All I wanted to do was to roll a snowball to form an avalanche and save my time and effort … but now I’ve become a ship repairman. And what is Voldemort? A plank-chewing rodent? A mould that rots the hull? What about Dumbledore? Grindelwald wouldn’t be the last grumpy ship repairman who was forced to lay off, would he?”

“I’m a ship repairman with a knack for repairing~” Felix hummed softly under his breath as he walked towards the Ancient Rune classroom and cheerfully entered it, and stood on the podium to teach the seventh-year students.

“The professor looks like he’s in a good mood.” Cedric whispered.

“Any good news to share, Professor?” Lee Jordan grinned broadly and raised his hand to ask a question.

“Ah,” Felix said lazily, “there’s one. Professor McGonagall has invited me to be part of a student club assessment, it’s an experience I haven’t had before, and I think it’ll be fun.”

“Is there such a thing in school?” Lee Jordan asked blankly, “I remember when all I had to do to set up the ‘Loud’ club was fill out a form, and that was just four years ago …”

“How many people do you have in your club?” Cedric asked in a confused tone.

“Just me.” Lee Jordan said.

“So you’ve never applied for an activity space either?” Cedric softly sighed.

“No-”

” Got school-issued activity funds?” Cedric’s deep grey eyes stared at him.

Lee Jordan’s mouth dropped open, as did Fred’s and George’s.

“That’s the key.” Cedric lowered his voice to conclude.

“We seem to have missed something, George.” Fred slowly came back to his senses.

“Yeah, we didn’t get any word of it.” George said with resignation.

“Ahem,” Felix cleared his throat, “it’s normal for you guys not to know, I found out after asking Professor McGonagall that the relevant information will only be sent to those student clubs who have submitted their names in the Student Body … Well, let’s get to class, today we’re going to learn a set of runic circuits that can be used on various items that need to be fireproof, such as amulets, or house building materials …”

As soon as the bell rang, the twins instantly rushed out of the classroom, turned down the stairs, and ran to the bulletin board in the entrance hall, scanning it with wide eyes.

“Sure enough, there’s nothing on it.” Fred said with a disappointed look on his face.

“Hi.” Harry greeted, holding a form as Ron and Hermione followed him, going to eat their lunch.

Fred and George looked over maliciously, startling all three of them.

“What’s that in your hand?” Fred asked.

“Er – a form that Professor McGonagall gave me, saying it has something to do with the Frontline Lookout club reviews, assessments, and stuff, though I haven’t looked at it thoroughly yet.” Harry said vaguely.

Fred suddenly jumped over and took Harry by the shoulders with one hand, while spreading out the parchment Harry was clutching with the other, George’s movement was also perfectly in sync, and the two men pinned Harry between them left and right, causing Harry to protest constantly.

The parchment contained only a short line: “The Frontline Lookout, a student club affiliated with the Student Body is requested to participate in the Professorial Assessment, in which the successful clubs will be provided with a venue, equipment, and funding for their activities. Please prepare the relevant materials in advance.”

At the bottom, there is a list of relevant records needed is mentioned, which includes the purpose of the club, the scope of its activities, the list of current members, and so on.

After reading through it, Fred let out a long sigh.

“George, we definitely can’t miss this, it’s our only chance to keep the ‘Prank League’ name in the Trophy Room.”

“The Prank League?” Harry asked in surprise, “How come I’ve never heard of it?”

” It was just established.” Fred immediately replied.

“Since when did you guys become Model Percy?” Ron deliberately put on an expression of surprise and circled around them.

Fred wagged his finger, “Oh, little Ronnie, we’re not like Percy, this is just a single step in our grand plan,” he lowered his voice, “George and I are doing everything we can to leave our mark more in the school- -”

“Yeah,” George squinted at them, “we’ve mapped Black Lake, buried 72 secret treasures, and sneaked into Filch’s office to make a copy of our years of rule-breaking list… ”

Ron swallowed hard and looked at him in awe.

“… to give it to Mafalda.” George said under his breath.

“To who?!” Harry exclaimed, almost shoving Fred and George aside.

“Mafalda.” Fred said as he rubbed his shoulders, “I have to admit, this relative of ours is a genius, she’s recently opened up a new business that focuses on helping people write their biographies.”

Harry, Ron, and Hermione’s expressions froze as if they were petrified.

“Think about it,” George slapped Ron on the shoulder in the end, ” slipping a biography with our glorious history into the library and waiting quietly for someone to discover it …”

Hermione grunted lightly, “I see you’re trying to train a few more students to follow your pranking career.”

“You got me.” Fred beamed.

“That’s exactly what we hoped for.” George nodded profusely.

Then they left with a bounce in their step.

“You know what I thought of?” Harry said through clenched teeth.

Ron and Hermione looked at him, “Riddle’s diary,” Harry said grimly, “they know about the Marauder’s Map, so they must have done something similar to guide the mischievous students to their buried treasure … ”

After lunch, Felix appeared in the staff common room where Professor McGonagall was not that surprisingly present, she looked very busy with a stack of documents piled on top of her work desk.

There is another person in the staff common room, Cuthbert Binns, Professor of the History of Magic. He appeared to be asleep, his ghostly body lying on a transparent couch, as he snored with a huffing and puffing sound.

Professor McGonagall looked up and pushed her glasses up, ” The word is out?”

” All that needs to be known is known,” Felix pulled a chair from the side and sat down, “with those loudmouthed students around, this will soon be an open secret, and it will probably be overcrowded with applicants when the time comes … ”

Professor McGonagall smiled faintly, then pursed her lips tightly, “Will it work?”

Felix shrugged.

“Some things are better done than not done. None of us want to see the students of Slytherin House isolated as a result of the Wizarding War, and this kind of foreseeable trouble should be solved when we have time. After the trial run in the Magic Rune Club, it’s now time to extend it to the school.”

“So you’re suggesting that each club should consist of members from at least two houses?”

Felix nodded, “I do approve of Hogwarts splitting up the young wizards into different houses, it brings more than one immediate benefit: the new students will develop a sense of belonging as soon as they enrol and there will be a natural sense of competition. But there should also be cooperation after the division, in order to increase the bonding of the four houses.”

Professor McGonagall broke into an unconcealed smile.

After a short while, her sharp gaze examined Professor Binns and the sleeping couch he is slumped in from behind her round glasses, and if she was not attentive she might have perceived them as one, like an oddly shaped ghost couch with legs poking out of the seat that seems to be sticking into the fireplace.

“Can we get the things out of Classroom Seven?” Professor McGonagall asked softly.

Felix thought for a moment, “The students certainly can’t bring it out. But the ghosts are special, didn’t they manage to bring food into the great hall last Easter? I reckon it should last for a while …” He was not exactly concerned about the community of ghosts in the castle, there were only two ghosts that he really cared about, and they had already departed this world.

Since Classroom Seven had been opened to the students, everything inside had been handed over to a couple of memory bodies to manage.

Over the next two days, as Felix had predicted, the various clubs had become the new centre of the conversation. Students began to inquire about the details in every possible way, and after learning about the first part of the event – that you only need to find three people to register your application with the student body – they were dumbfounded; when someone got a letter of approval from the student body and an assessment sheet to show off under the students’ noses, they finally took the plunge and started to act.

Especially when Ron mindlessly blurted out, “If I create a music appreciation club, will I be able to apply to buy a magic gramophone?”

The remark was a perfect fuse.

It was soon put into practice by students and, what was outrageous is, that club was approved. Thus, all sorts of clubs sprang up.

Of course, Felix knew that when this enthusiasm died down, most of the clubs would become deserted and automatically abolished in the following year. But he is also quite sure that there will be some clubs that will remain, and each one will be equivalent to a small Magic Rune Club, acting as a bridge between the four Houses.

Using the school’s original system and changing it slightly to achieve his aims, Felix was quite happy with this. He, the ship repairman, replaced another plank.

What would Hogwarts end up being like if a longer period of time elapsed? Felix was sure that ‘time’ would brew everything.

The only ones who had a hard time were the Head boy and the Head girl, who had to review all sorts of odd clubs, although they took Professor McGonagall’s hint and relaxed their review criteria slightly, but they were still startled by the strange outrageous clubs.

“A prank league? What is this?” The Head Boy looked shocked.

The Head Girl came over to take a look and said indignantly, “I am sure it was the Weasley twins! I caught them digging holes all over the school the other day!”

“What should we do then?”

” Rejected! Ugh, forget it, let’s have them change the name.” The Head Girl thought for a moment, “We shouldn’t be the only ones to suffer, I’ll get some helpers over here …”

…

Ron and Hermione were somewhat baffled when they were called over and even more so when they saw Malfoy, then the two Heads carried over a thick stack of documents and said to the four Prefects, “Each of you will be responsible for a part, try to get it reviewed today.”

Malfoy frowned at the two empty-handed Heads, “What about you guys?”

“We’re responsible for the final vetting.” The Head Boy said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“Make sure there are no House names, no discriminatory terms, no inducement to break the rules, and don’t even think about names like the Prank League or anything like that!” The Head Girl said with gnashing teeth.

Once the work had been divided up, the time taken quickly became a teeny bit less than it had been, and after almost an evening of work, all the vetting process was finally over.

By the end of the week, a huge piece of parchment was posted on a bulletin board in the entrance hall, with four sets of little magic lamps illuminating the parchment.

A crowd of students gathered at the foot of the board.

” Announcement:

The list of all clubs that have been approved by the Student Body is as follows.

Music Appreciation Club, Muggle Film Appreciation Club, Exploding Snap Club, Magic Golem Dueling Club, Chocolate Frog Card Dueling Club, Classroom Seven Exploration Squad, Crumple-Horned Snorkacks Certainly Exist Club, Frontline Lookout Club, Grilled Fish League, Read a Book a Week Society, Popping Dancers League, S.P.E.W… …

The above clubs can recruit members on the last weekend of the month in the school great hall and will be evaluated by professors on the first weekend of December. The successful applicants will receive support in terms of activity room, professorial guidance, activity equipment, and start-up funds.

Membership requirements.

1. A minimum of three regular members.

2. A minimum of two different House students in the Club.

…”

Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood at the foot of the bulletin, reading the various names that looked both reliable and unreliable, trying to analyse who had founded those clubs.

“Look, the Harry Potter fan club! Dennis, our application is approved!”

Harry closed his eyes painfully, his face burning red as he tried his best to pretend he didn’t care, and darted a quick glance to the side to see the Creevey brothers clutching their faces and cheering as Ron read curiously, “That’s a weird name, the `Swear to Defend School Rules’ club, who came up with that name? If Percy hadn’t graduated, I would have thought it was him …”

Said Ron, with his mouth wide open, as Fred and George high-fived with glee.

In addition, they saw –

“S.P.E.W.?” Harry stared at Hermione blankly.

Hermione looked away sheepishly and blushed, “Well, I was thinking that if we could make S.P.E.W. a regular club in the school like the Gobstones Club, there would always be someone to keep an eye on the treatment of house-elves … I promise it won’t slow down the Frontline Lookout Club! ”

Harry and Ron looked at each other.

“You know what I thought of?” Ron asked with a pale face.

Harry nodded understandingly. At the moment S.P.E.W. only consisted of Ron and Harry, apart from the founder Hermione, and the thought of their names being printed under “Spew” and displayed in public in the great hall two weeks later, with the possibility of their names being read out by the Professor in a month time, made their hearts ache.

Harry only had one thought at that moment, whether it’s the Harry Potter fan club or the so-called S.P.E.W., please, don’t recruit anyone!

————

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