Chapter 191: The Ties That Bind

The rest of Kasia’s birthday was as perfect as could be. Kasia shone brightly the entire time, and she looked to be having the time of her life. She seemed a bit awkward, being in the spotlight for the first time, but she adjusted quickly. The love everyone showered her with definitely helped. It was nice to see Kasia celebrated. She deserved it.

I was proud of myself for rounding up that many chochliki and actually persuading them to help. None of them misbehaved, despite their natural tendencies for mischief. That might have been because I told them I would cut off their heads and hang them from my belt if they did. Or maybe it was because they just enjoyed the festivities. It didn’t matter.

They had beautifully decorated the hall and the floating lanterns were a nice touch, if I did say so myself. Well, not really floating, because chochliki were holding them, but kind of floating. I had considered forcing other—convincing other swamp monsters and spirits to join the party, but most of them were too smelly or ugly and probably too dangerous, being evil and all.

Now that I thought about it, I probably should have… invited some of the evil monsters over, just so she could kill them and get experience. I’d just pop off their arms and legs or something and let her get the killing blow. Now that would have been a good birthday present! Oh well, no sense crying over spilled experience. We could always do that some other time.

And that other time could be right away, as long as I could get one of those doors in the basement open. Sure, I vaguely remembered that Bies book implying that whatever was behind those doors was dangerous, but how dangerous could it really be? Too dangerous to bring a freshly minted [Raptomaga]? Probably not. It would probably be worth the experience.

On the other hand, I should probably take some precautions just in case. I still had Sambor’s head, and if I attached that to my gear a percentage of damage would be redirected from Kasia to me. Now that Kasia was eighteen it would work, which made the head a million times more useful. I just had to decide which head to swap out. Probably Mateusz.

What if when Kasia leveled up she also got access to [Headhunter]? We could swap and borrow each other’s heads like clothes! I decided I was definitely going to take Kasia. She deserved her own collection of cute heads.

With my awesome plan that surely wouldn’t go wrong all perfectly thought out, I gathered up everyone I wanted to bring with me to the doors. Vasil, because he was Vasil; Kasia, because she was Kasia; Bogumir, because he was small and needed the experience in hopes that he would be able to become regular-sized again; and Vitek. Unfortunately Vitek said he didn’t want to go on a suicide mission through a likely demon-infested portal. Which was fair. Even if we didn’t know if it would be demon-infested, it could be. He did want to see the doors, so I took him down the stairs and through the dark halls.

When we got there, everything was the same as it had been the last time I was there. The floor still had those spirals and stars in the middle. The nine iron doors still lined the walls, and they still had glowing runes on them.

“Interesting place,” Vitek remarked, bending down and touching the floor.

I stared at the first door, which had a rune that glowed blue. “Will be even more interesting once we get one of these doors open.” Turning to Kasia, I cleared my throat. “First things first, though. Dear Kasia, would you like to join my party, so we may share experience?”

Bogumir laughed. “You make it sound like you’re asking her to marry you.”

I shot him a glare. “In what dimension did that sound anything like will you marry me?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“What?”

“I wouldn’t. Marry you.”

I blinked a couple of times before my brain was able to process what he’d just said. Sometimes I forgot Bogumir liked to joke around, but he never let me forget he wasn’t funny. Just like everyone else in this Goddess forsaken country.

I rubbed my eyes. “Bogumir?”

“Yes?” He grinned.

“Can I invite Kasia to our party now, or what? Or did I interrupt your comedy routine? I can wait if you have some other jokes you’d like to share with us. I can’t promise I’ll laugh, but I think it’s best you get them all out now instead of later.”

“That kind of sounds like you’re saying if there is anyone who objects speak now or forever hold your peace. Like at a wedding. Before they pronounce you man and wife.”

I slowly nodded. “You done?”

“Maybe.”

“Out with it.”

“I have to wait for the right moment, or it won’t be funny. Timing is everything. Just like love and marriage, actually. Both parties need to be ready to be in a relationship. Sometimes people will lie to themselves about being ready, and that never works. You can’t force love, just like you can’t force a relationship. Sometimes one needs to learn a specific lesson or achieve internal clarity before they are ready to open up or become a supportive partner.”

Kasia frowned.

“Man,” I said with a sigh. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

“I’m just sharing my wisdom.”

“I see. That chochlik got you too, huh. You drank the spiked tea. That tiny little body of yours probably can’t handle all that. You’ll be feeling the effects for a while, I’m afraid. Sorry about that. They promised to behave during Kasia’s birthday, but I should have told them to behave always. Or at least inside the cathedral.”

“The tea was spiked?”

“A little bit. They put some sort of mushrooms in it, or so they said.”

“I didn’t even have any tea.”

“Then why are you like this?”

“Like what?”

I pointed at him with both hands. “This—wait. What did you drink?”

“Regular water.”

“Oh. That was also spiked.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah… So do you want to join our party, Kasia?”

“Yes.” She gave Bogumir a worried look. “Will he be alright? Is he okay?”

I shrugged. “He may be small, but he’s notoriously hard to kill. I’m sure he’ll survive.”

“But will he be okay?”

“That I do not know. For that to happen he’d have to have been okay in the first place, and, well… he’s Bogumir. And he’s always been Bogumir. He’ll probably always be Bogumir as well. What I’m trying to say is: that ship sailed a long time ago.”

“But is there anything we can do for him?”

“Afraid not. I think he may have been born like this. All we can do is accept him how he is—never alright, never okay, always Bogumir.” I leaned into Kasia and whispered, “Congenital.”

“Oh my,” Vasil said.

When I looked down I saw Bogumir was hugging him.

“Could be worse,” I said. “At least he didn’t get mean.”

“Uh, Hecate?” Vasil asked. “How long did you say this would last?”

“Couldn’t tell you. I’m no chochlik, and I didn’t think of asking them. I didn’t realize anyone would be drinking water.”

“You didn’t think anyone would be drinking water… We all had breakfast together.”

“Well yeah, but it’s not like I’m going to watch what everyone’s eating or drinking. I’m not some kind of weirdo. And I only found out after I took a sip of the tea and it tasted funny. When I saw a couple of chochliki giggling, I figured they peed in it or something, so I tossed it.”

“And you didn’t think of warning us?”

“Hey! It’s not like they actually peed in it! And Bogumir was the only one who drank from it, though I did not notice that at the time.”

Vitek raised his hand. “I also drank from it.”

“But why?” Vasil asked.

“Because I saw them put the mushrooms in it.”

“You saw them put the mushrooms in it and you still drank from it?”

“That’s exactly why I drank it,” Vitek said, laughing.

“And you are not affected?”

Vitek laughed again and rubbed his legs. “I am definitely affected.”

Vasil shifted on his feet. “Hecate, maybe we should postpone our expedition.”

“Why?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Because one of our party members is affected by a mind-altering substance, and our backup is as well.”

“It’s not like Vitek was planning on coming, and Bogumir, well, he’s small. I doubt he’d be very useful anyway. I’ll just pop him in my satchel and take him like that. Now that you mention it, maybe we should tie him up so he doesn’t hurt himself?”

“Hmm.” Bogumir smiled serenely. “You can tie a man up, but you can’t tie him down. The ties that bind us aren’t rope. They’re the people we choose. Like you chose Kasia. Like Kasia chose you.”

“Right… This is going to be a long trip.”

“This is going to be a long trip,” Vasil agreed.