Chapter 187: Almost Normal

I stared at the painting of Bies, and wondered what she would think about what we were doing here, in what used to be her cathedral.

We spent the past few days secretly organizing a birthday party for Kasia. You only turned eighteen once, and you only got to select a Class once, so this was a big deal. Kuba also told me they never had any money to properly celebrate her birthday, and since I had money, I figured there was no better way to spend it than to make Kasia happy.

Even Phisto helped out by distracting her when needed. She was the only one he didn’t try to trip into falling down the stairs, so he must have really liked her. Then again, everyone really liked her. It was impossible not to like her. She carried her positivity and kindness with her everywhere she went. She radiated it, and once you were touched by her light, you couldn’t help but smile and feel better. She really had a gift. She was a gift.

My bedding was no longer made of moss, but of proper bed stuff. And while I had no super warm cozy blanket, I did have a very soft and nice one. It was still good. I also learned that Kuba and Moryana did not have a super blanket either, so I had no idea what all that giggling was about.

The more time I spent at the cathedral, the more I felt the stress drain from my body. The tension that had always seemed to be in my shoulders lessened significantly. My neck no longer hurt—I hadn’t even realized it hurt until it stopped. I even felt lighter here, and my mind felt clearer, calmer. The constant noise in my head felt just a bit quieter.

What was it about this place? Was it the cathedral itself? Was it magical? Was it the people? Were they magical? Was it knowing that no one would find me here and that I was safe? It couldn’t be the swamp, because I hated it. But did I really? This place really felt like home, and I wasn’t sure if it was the safety of it, the familiarity of it, or if it was because I saw Kasia smiling more than I’d ever seen her smile. She must have also felt at peace here, safe. It certainly beat fighting for your life every five seconds.

Unfortunately, I knew that even this feeling of peace would not last. Soon, I would get restless again. I’d already made up my mind about what to do next. I’d figure out a way to get at least one of those magical doors in the basement open. Then we’d recover a piece of Bies’ soul and hopefully figure out the next steps.

We probably wouldn’t have time for another door, though. I also had to prepare for the tournament in Opole and try to find Melchior in Prudnik. We’d go to Prudnik first. I hoped that we’d find some sort of resistance there and that they would be able to give me an edge for the tournament. Maybe they knew who my opponents would be and what their skills were. Maybe they would also be willing to share some runewords or runestones after I shared my own plans for the tournament and Opole. It was a good plan. They’d like it. I liked it.

“You alright?” Bogumir said out of nowhere, startling me.

“Uh. What?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You seem almost normal. It’s been days since your last incoherent ramble. You haven’t even shared any far-fetched conspiracy theories in a while. I’m starting to get worried.”

“First of all, my conspiracy theories are not far-fetched. They are based on undeniable facts. I’d even hesitate to call them theories, since they are more like conspiracy facts. And I don’t ramble. Just because you can’t keep up doesn’t mean I’m rambling. My manner of speech is a smooth, carefully constructed, well thought out flow, and it is exactly the way it should be.”

“It’s almost like you like this place.”

“I, uh—”

Kasia and Phisto walked past on the other side of the hall. Kasia smiled and waved. Phisto ignored me.

“I guess,” I said. “She feels like home—it, it feels like home.”

Bogumir chuckled. “I have to admit, the place is nice and comfortable. You surprised me. I thought you were full of shit. I think I like it better than Viswa. There is just something about this place.”

“Oh yeah? Is it the swamp? The monsters?”

“Ah, those monsters aren’t so bad. And not everything here is out to eat you. There are a lot of animals around as well. I love animals. Most of them at least. I definitely like them better than people. The swamp is fine, too. Most dungeons are a lot worse.”

“Wait till it thaws. See how you like it then when you’re covered in mud and the smell is ten times worse.”

“You know what?” He grinned. “You complain too much.”

I was about to argue, especially since he was the biggest complainer I knew, but he was probably right. Maybe I did complain too much. And it wasn’t like I hated this place as much as I thought I did, though I didn’t know that was because of Kasia or something else.

Bogumir inclined his head and his grin grew.

“I’m not going to say it.” I shook my head.

“Say it.”

I sighed. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I complain too much. Damn. Kasia got you too, huh?”

He burst out laughing. “Yeah. There’s no escape from her positivity. It’s infectious.”

I smiled. “I think it’s a good thing. I think we all need a little positivity every now and then, with everything that’s going on.”

“I think we need a lot of it, to be honest. You will need a lot of it. You seem pretty casual for someone who will soon fight for your life in front of thousands of people. Thousands of inquisitors. You know even the king sometimes attends the final. I’d be pretty stressed out about that.”

“Good thing Kasia brings a lot of it.” I thought for a moment. “I don’t know. This place calms me. I don’t know if it’s the not being hunted part or if it’s you guys. Maybe it’s both. I feel pretty good.”

Though that would probably change once I left the cathedral and had to fight for my life again.

“It’s probably everything,” Bogumir said. “I saw an otter slide around the other day. It ran to the top of an icy hill and just slid down on its belly. Then it ran back up and did it all over again. Can you believe that?”

“I must say I’m surprised to hear you say you love animals. Haven’t you spent most of your life killing them? Your squad cleared out dungeons, right?”

“That’s not the same,” he scoffed.

“Because they were ugly?”

“What? No! Because they were evil. Dungeons are mostly filled with evil demons and spirits and things like that. The animals that did wander around in those dungeons were assholes, so I never felt bad about killing them. My love tends to vanish pretty quickly once something tries to kill me.”

“What if that cute sliding otter slid down on its cute belly and tried to kill you right after?”

“Dead.” He nodded.

“Just like that?”

“Just like that. I’m not about to let myself get killed by anything. Not even the cutest otter. Not even if it slides down on its belly right in front of my very eyes. If it attacks me, it has to die.”

“I suppose that’s fair. So… you ready for tomorrow? Do you already know what you’re going to give her?”

He cocked his head and smiled. “I’m very ready. I have the perfect gift. I think the real question is: are you ready? I’m surprised you’re so calm. You spent a lot of time making this happen.”

“Why would I be stressed?” I said as casually as possible.

Now that he mentioned it, I felt super stressed again. It had to be perfect. It was Kasia’s first birthday with us. She was getting a Class. I just had to make it perfect for her, for all she’d done not just for me, but for all of us. She’d come so far. She’d come from nothing. The fact that after all she’d been through, she was by far the best of us made me admire her even more.

I thought I was strong until I got to know her. To stay so true to yourself, to inspire others, to remain so soft, so impossibly kind despite everything the world had thrown at her… I wondered if she knew how much I looked up to her. How much I appreciated her. How much I wished I could be more like her even though I knew I never could.

Someone had to be the hard one. Someone had to be willing to stand in the dark to preserve her light. Someone had to be willing to bloody their hands so Kasia’s could stay clean. I was already stained—there was no saving me, and I had to accept that. But Kasia was good, pure. If the world was going to be cruel, someone needed to stand in front of her and be crueler. When the monsters came for her—and they definitely would—I would show them what a true monster was. I would tear them all apart before they could touch her. Never again would I allow what happened in Viswa. I would rather lose my mind completely than let her be harmed again.

Her birthday would be perfect. And if anyone or anything tried to ruin it… If anyone tried to ruin her… I would have a bigger collection of heads.

“Hecate?” Bogumir asked.

“I’m fine,” I said. “I’m fine.”

He looked worried, but he gave me a nod. “I understand,” he said, and I wondered if he read my mind.