Chapter 163: Tadaa!

Vasil hacked up four slimy runestones. He smacked his lips and proudly nodded at the drool-covered pebbles. “Clover, Wave, Sol, and Poison. As you requested.”

I stared at them. “Why do you always get your frog spit all over them? Isn’t there a way to get them out dry?”

“You did not seem to have a problem with it before,” Vasil said.

“Yeah, because I was in a life and death situation then. Life for me and death for those thugs. I had to quickly create the runeword to get some extra firepower. Now we have plenty of time so there’s no need to give them to me all wet.”

“I have to grab them with my tongue. I am afraid there is no other way to retrieve items that are stored inside of me.”

“Hmmm.” I narrowed my eyes. “I think you’re messing with me. I think this is some kind of revenge.”

“I never mess. I am always serious.”

He was always serious. Actually, no he wasn’t. That one time when he tried to convince me to turn into a horse. His favorite joke. Maybe this was another one of his jokes.

I put my face closer to his. “Hmmmmmmm.”

He leaned back slightly. “What?”

I leaned in a bit more. “Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.”

“You think saying ‘hmmm’ will make me confess I was jesting?”

“Yeah.”

“I told you I have to grab them with my tongue. My tongue is wet and sticky.”

“Can’t you get a skill that makes items come out clean and dry?”

“Why would I waste a skill point on something like that?”

Obviously this discussion wasn’t going anywhere. Vasil probably wasn’t lying to me. He didn’t have a sense of humor, after all. Not that this was funny. It was very unfunny. And gross.

I sighed, grabbing the first slimy runestone between my thumb and index finger. “Fine. Whatever.”

I was just about to craft the Bies’ Teaching runeword when I realized I didn’t even have any headgear, and thus nothing to put the runes in. Kind of forgot about that in my excitement. I glanced around. Everyone was looking at me with anticipation.

I giggled nervously. “Yeah. Uh. Ola?”

“Yes, my Lady?”

“You don’t happen to have some kind of thing that goes on my head that matches with those dresses do you?”

A slight smile tugged at her lips. “I will be right back!” she said as she ran into the mayor’s house. Uh. My house.

“You were planning to make a runeword in a helmet, weren’t you?” Bogumir asked.

“A helmet?” I said, pretending to be offended. “Do you see me wearing a helmet?”

“You were wearing some kind of ugly mask when we first met. So yes. I could see you wearing a lot of things.”

“That was then, Bogumir. This is now. I wouldn’t do that again. It was itchy and helmets mess up my hair. No, a helmet won’t do.”

I prayed to all the gods that Ola wouldn’t return with a helmet. That would make me look extremely stupid. Surely Ola wouldn’t return with a helmet. Ola knew what she was doing. She found those dresses, after all. She was a professional. She knew what a woman like me needed. She’d probably return with something beautiful.

But what if she did return with a helmet. Or even worse, what if she returned with an ugly mask like Karn’s Face? It was a blessing that it got destroyed during the fight with Bogumir’s squad, else I’d probably have kept wearing it and kept being ugly. What if the mask Ola would bring was even worse than that? What if she brought Karn’s Brother’s Face? If that existed and was uglier. Bogumir would laugh at me. Maybe Vasil would even laugh at me. And they’d be right.

No, they wouldn’t be. I simply wouldn’t make the runeword then. I’d wait until I found something that wasn’t an ugly mask. I’d settle for a pretty mask as long as it didn’t cover my hair. What was taking Ola so long? I started to get nervous.

Bogumir must have noticed because he had a wicked grin on his face. He knew it. He knew what Ola was going to bring me. That son of a bitch! He knew it! He knew she had Karn’s Ugly Brother’s Face mask! That’s why he was so smug about it! He knew I was screwed and couldn’t wait to gloat about my ugly mask.

Ola reappeared in the door and slowly walked up to us, hands behind her back. I looked around. I could still run. If I wasn’t there, then she couldn’t give me Karn’s Disgusting Smelly Brother’s mask. I didn’t want a smelly ugly mask!

Too late now. She was too close to run. Bogumir’s grin grew even larger. I resolved to chop his head off and hang it from my belt again. See if he’d still be laughing then.

Ola was in front of me now. A bead of sweat rolled into my eye. I tried to blink it out. The salt stung. This was it. This was the end of my life.

She pulled out something shiny and held it in front of me. “Tadaa!”

I flinched and instinctively covered my face with my hands. I didn’t hiss like some kind of vampire or angry cat. I didn’t do that. But inside I might have done it. Outside also, maybe.

I slowly moved my hands so I could see my doom…

Ola proudly held the most beautiful tiara I’d ever seen in my life. It looked to be made of pure gold, with a big, shiny red ruby in the middle and smaller ones next to it. Relief washed over me. Not today, Karn’s Malformed Pungent Sibling, not today.

I gently took it from Ola’s hands and might have danced in place a little bit. “Ola, you are the best of the best. There is being grateful and then there’s what I am right now. There may be no word for it, but I am it.”

“Super grateful?” Kasia asked.

“Yeah! Super grateful!”

Ola bowed. “You are too kind, my Lady. I’m just doing my job.”

“You’re doing a super good job!” I said, then turned to Kasia and nodded enthusiastically. “Super good!”

Now I could finally craft my runeword and I’d be even more beautiful than before. This was perfect. This was so me.

“Hecate?” Vasil asked. “Before you create this runeword, would you mind sharing with us what exactly this runeword is and does?”

“Right,” I answered, then told him what the runeword was and included the System text for [Sage’s Resonance] just in case he didn’t know what that did.

[Bies’ Teaching - CloverWaveSolPoison]

Gain the [Sage’s Resonance] passive

+100% Mana regeneration

+30% Faster cast rate

+20% Skill effectiveness

+25% Poison resistance

+20 Attunement

+10 Luck

[Sage’s Resonance]

Type: Passive

Wisdom is not always spoken, sometimes it is merely heard.

Even your most mundane musings carry the weight of revelation. People are more inclined to find wisdom in your words and actions, whether or not you intended any. Scales with Attunement. Does not affect party members.

Vasil’s frogbrow shot up. ”Oh my. That is a powerful runeword. That will surely aid you in negotiations with Banda Masvih.”

“Yeah,” Bogumir said. “What could possibly go wrong when you give Hecate an item like this? Everything can go wrong, that’s what. And everything will go wrong. Half of these idiots already believe the nonsense that comes out of her mouth, this will only make it worse. I foresee trouble.”

“I foresee prosperity, my pessimistic friend. I see opportunity. I see a world without violence. I see a world full of love, where everyone lives together in harmony. I see birds singing songs of Hecate the wise. I see children smile, their bellies full of food. I see me, with a beautiful tiara accentuating my shiny perfectly maintained hair.”

“See! See!” Bogumir yelled, pointing at me. “That’s exactly the kind of shit I’m talking about.”

“I see Bogumir without a body. A tiny, scowly head, hanging from my belt. Is that a dirty rag in his mouth or is his mouth simply sewn shut?” I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple. “My visions are not clear on that one.”

I cradled the tiara. “Mm, yes. I believe Bogumir’s future hinges on what comes out of his mouth next.”

Bogumir kept quiet, but a mischievous grin slowly crept onto his face. He calmly showed me his middle finger. That bastard. Technically nothing came out of his mouth, so I felt it would be in poor taste to retaliate. Instead I gave him a nonchalant moutza and stuck out my tongue, just to let him know two could play that game.

And because I was my own woman, and my plan was great, I decided to slot the runestones in the tiara right then and there. First I made sure to put them in the correct order, then placed them. The runestones disappeared into the tiara and it glowed briefly. Afterward there was a subtle glowy shine to the tiara that hadn’t been there before. It looked even more enchanting now.

I carefully placed my beautiful Bies’ Teaching enhanced tiara over my hair, making sure it sat at the perfect angle.

“And?” I asked, fluttering my eyelashes. “How does it look?”

“Looks dumb as hell with that tunic on,” Bogumir said.