Chapter 159: On a Scale of One to Church of Stvora

Being a mayor had already turned out to be much more of a headache than I’d anticipated. Thankfully, Kasia was fine. I was a bit concerned about who or what Banda Masvih was, but I didn’t let it show. I didn’t want to worry Kasia. She’d been through enough.

One thing I was pretty sure of was that there were probably a lot more of these guys and that they would be back. It would complicate things if I was traveling, or Goddess forbid already in a fight. There never was a shortage of willing recipients of a bullet to the face.

A slight breeze blew past me and I caught a whiff of the fresh mountain air, now tainted by a metallic smell—blood—and dirt. I glanced at the destruction around me. Those guys were super dead. Was that a nose? Someone should really clean that up. Gross stuff like that and all those holes everywhere kind of ruined the ambiance of this peaceful town.

Those guys who were now part of the dirt were probably only the collection detail. It wouldn’t take long before the rest of the gang figured out something was wrong and would send someone to investigate what had happened. Then I’d blow them apart as well and they would send more guys. All of that would be pretty inconvenient. Perhaps Vasil had some ideas on how to best handle this situation.

Another gust of blood-scented wind rolled past me and a lock of my hair blew into my face. I brushed it aside. I still preferred my own glossy black hair to the conjured golden strands, even if it was a pretty impressive creation. I decided to wear my own face for now. Just be me. I was in my own town, with my own people. I could just be myself for now. It felt better like that.

I turned around, only to see everyone had come out of their houses and was staring in disbelief. They probably knew they were going to have to be the ones to clean this up and couldn’t believe it. Which was fair. I probably could have handled it a bit better, caused a little less destruction, ended it a little less bloody. Then again, they did hurt Kasia, so really they got off easy.

At least I didn’t have to clean it up. Being mayor of the town and divine patron of my own order did come with some nice perks.

I turned to Hubert, who still had Vasil in his hands. “You guys ever hear of Banda Masvih? Also where’s Bogumir?”

“I’m right here!” Bogumir said, appearing behind Hubert’s leg. “And yes, I have. That lady just mentioned them.”

I rewarded his stupid attempt at being clever with a flat stare.

He chuckled to himself. “But I’ve also heard of them before that. I’m sure Vasil has as well.”

Vasil nodded.

“As have I,” Hubert said.

“Sooo…” I said. “They are kind of famous?”

Bogumir tilted his head and smiled. “That’s one way to put it.”

“Are you going to be annoying, or are you going to say something useful?”

“Hmmm,” he said with a cheeky smile.

“Don’t say it!” I warned him. The man had become far too comfortable even before he got his body back. Now that I hadn’t turned him into a bullet for biting me he probably felt like I wouldn’t kill him and thought he could get away with being like this. Well, I guess he was right. I wasn’t planning on killing him, and if I needed a hand I could always cut one off and offer it without feeling guilty. He was able to grow them back now.

“Annoying—” he started, and I immediately threw him a glare as a warning.

“—is not what I had in mind.” He chuckled. Clearly, it was exactly what he had in mind, and now he thought he was being clever. “Infamous is the better word for it. And they are everywhere. The Church has tried to exterminate them, but whenever you cut off one head two others pop up.”

“They are a criminal organization,” Vasil added. “One of the larger ones in Silesia and the surrounding countries. Their leader is a man named Maswav, hence the name Banda Masvih. He is quite secretive and not many have ever seen his face, but he is said to be extraordinarily powerful. It is claimed that he is of significantly high level, which is probably why no one has ever been able to stop him. In other words: he is both intelligent and strong. And that is just their leader. His organization has many underbosses of comparable strength and guile reporting to him.”

“Great,” I said. “So more for me to worry about?”

Vasil nodded. “I am afraid you have made some powerful new enemies today. They will not let this go. They will probably want to make an example out of you.”

“Ehhh.” I hesitated. “How bad can it be? On a scale of one to Church of Stvora, how bad are they?”

“Probably worse,” Bogumir said with a shrug. “They are everywhere, and like I said, the Church has not been able to stop them at all. As long as you pay they won’t bother you. You could have just paid, you know. Probably should have.”

“Right. Like I’d pay even a single coin to those animals. I stole all that gold fair and square! I’m not just going to hand it over just because someone threatens me.”

“It would have prevented a lot of trouble.”

“I could have done a lot of things, Bogumir. As could they. They could have not shot Kasia. They could have just accepted their loss and walked away. They could have given me some gold. But they didn’t do any of that, and I didn’t give them what they wanted. Can’t change it now. The deed is done. The extortionists have been exploded and the world is a better place for it. No sense crying about it.”

“The deed is done,” I repeated, waving my hand dismissively.

“I’m not crying about it, I’m just telling you how it is. They are a massive criminal syndicate. This will complicate things.”

I rolled my eyes. “Syndicate, shmindicate.”

“Huh?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Shmindicate, pindicate.”

“I feel like you are not taking this as seriously as you should be.”

“Says the one who was cracking jokes literally ten seconds before this,” I said, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Besides, maybe we can use this.”

“And how exactly do you plan on using this, Hecate?” Vasil asked. “Now two powerful organizations want you dead. Two organizations filled with powerful warriors who use violence and intimidation to further their goals. I believe you should try to make amends with Banda Masvih. Apologize for the misunderstanding and repay them for their lost soldiers on top of the monthly protection fee.”

“Regional stabilization fee. That’s what she called it.”

“It does not matter what they call it. What matters is that you do not make an enemy out of everyone you meet. Especially with the Church already hunting you. Do you think Banda Masvih will not want to collect the one million gold bounty? They have plenty of killers in their employ.”

“Aha!” I said, raising my finger. “But you forget one thing! The Church is hunting Hecate, and Banda Masvih may or may not be hunting Lady Aurelia, the mayor of Viswa. Two completely different people. Besides they probably don’t even know what I did yet. I could just tell them their friends slipped and died, or I could simply use a different face next time they come here asking for money and pretend Lady Aurelia slipped and died.”

Vasil sighed. “Right.”

“I heard Viswa is a slippery place.” I nodded thoughtfully. “It’s been said.”

“You said that!” Bogumir threw his little hands up. “You’re the one that said that! Viswa isn’t slippery at all. Look at me!” He shuffled around. “Not slippery at all!”

“Yeah. But they don’t know that!”

“By Stvora! How could they not know that if they are standing right here?”

“I’d just tell them the spot they are standing on is the least slippery spot of the town.”

“Do you even hear yourself talking? Do you hear the shit that comes out of your mouth?”

“I hear it. I’m the one saying it. I have ears, unlike your dead not-friend Irena and Vasil.”

“But I have tympana!” Vasil argued. “I can hear!”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “So you say, old man, so you say. But I’ve never seen proof that you actually can.”

“We are talking right now! I am responding to what you are saying.”

I crossed my arms. “That’s exactly what someone who can’t hear anything would say.”

“What the fuck!” Bogumir said.

Squeaky shoe guy tapped my shoulder. “Um. Miss Radiant Dawn?”

“Yes, squeaky shoe guy?”

He looked to the side. “Um. My name is Polikarp.”

“Hah! What kind of a name is that? I bet the Church also thinks you’re a fish. Haha! That can’t really be your name. Good one! Really, though, what’s your actual name?”

He frowned. “It’s what my parents named me.”

“Damn. Sorry to hear that Polikarp. That’s rough. Was there anything you needed?” (Besides a better name)

He held out the head of the rude woman who had started this whole mess. “You left this on the floor. I thought you might want to add it to your collection.”

Now I felt a little bad about laughing at his name. Clearly he was a nice guy, he was just unfortunate in life. Awful name. Awful shoes. Oddly shaped head. Some people are just born unlucky. Perhaps I should get him a nice hat. That would probably help somewhat. And some new shoes. Definitely some new shoes. First I should probably check out this head, though.