Chapter 318. A Wretched Heartache I

Chapter 318: 318. A Wretched Heartache I

Maisie

A drizzle began the second I stepped out of the car. I listened to it pattle softly outside as I rode the elevator to the penthouse at the top of the building.

Soren had chosen to wait for me down, at the lobby. I figured he either knew more than he was letting on, or he was too ticked off to talk to his cousin.

The elevator dinged and I crossed the hallway in swift, jerky strides, halting in front of the only door on the entire floor.

I could smell him through the door and a vicious pain tightened in my chest, bringing tears to my eyes again. Fists curling, I slammed my hand into the door in a manner of knocking.

Something crashed inside and I knew he was home. Though I heard no footsteps approach the door.

Frustration laced through me and I grabbed the doorknob, yanking too hard and taking it off the door. "I know you’re in there, you bloody coward," I said, voice breaking. "The least you could do is look me in the eye and tell me why the fuck you did it!"

No response.

I jammed my fist harder into the door, rattling it. Tears leaked from my eyes. "I’m not leaving until you talk to me, you... idiot. I’ll break this down if I have to--"

The door swung open and I nearly fell in, catching myself on the tip of my boots.

Green eyes collided with mine and my chest squeezed even tighter when those eyes ran over me, from the crown of my head to the sole of my boots, assessing, checking if I was alright.

And when they were certain I wasn’t hurt, they turned to green chips of ice. "You shouldn’t be here."

I pushed past him into the room. "What was it?" I demanded, whirling at the center of the living room. I was too angry to notice the apartment he’d likely spent most of his time in while I was away. My vision tunneled on him. "What did you trade for my life?"

He pushed his long hair out of his eyes. He was covered in sweat. And the shadows under his eyes were deep like buckets. "It doesn’t matter." A muscle jumped in his jaw. "She’ll never hurt you again."

A cry crawled up my chest. "It was the Queen, then? Did she force you? Blackmail you? Threaten to kill me? Is that it?" He didn’t respond, and my lips quivered. "Whatever it is, we can sort it out out together--"

"It’s already done, Maisie," he said coldly and I flinched at the bite in his voice. Seeing my flinch, he glanced away guiltily, hands clenching into fists. "I’m sorry about what happened to you. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry you had to go through so much because of my... because of her. If I do this, she’ll leave you alone. For good. Knowing you’re safe is enough for me."

I stepped forward, but he took two steps away from me. A frustrated whimper tore out of me. "I don’t want safe, Mercer. Don’t do it. Please, don’t do it."

He walked past me, crouching to pick up the shattered glass of liquor on the floor. "You’re shivering. I’ll turn on the heater--"

"You’re marrying her, then?" I sobbed. His shoulders tensed, but he kept picking up the glass. "I saw the pictures from the West Tower. She told me you were marrying her the moment the divorce was out of the way. You’re leaving me, Mercer? You’re leaving us?"

He abandoned the glass, keeping his back to me as he hedged over to the heater’s switch. Warmth came over my skin instantly, but it did nothing to warm the cold sinking into my bones.

Mercer didn’t turn around. He glanced over the tall windows at the skyline outside. "Soren will shield you. Jericho will take care of you. Quinlan will kill to protect you. You’ll be happy with them. They’ll love you like you deserve. You’ll be happier this way."

My knees weakened. I wanted to go to him, but I couldn’t walk. I was frightened if I took one step forward, I would fall. Crawl. Plead. At his feet.

As if feeling my distress, Mercer turned around. His eyes were hard with resolve. And I decided then that I hated them. The colour green had taken up the colour of a wretched heartache.

There was nothing I could say to change his mind.

I grappled for anything, even if I knew I should leave him alone. It felt important that I remained there in that moment, talking to him. I didn’t--couldn’t--let go of him.

"When is it?" I asked, managing to sound steady for all of three seconds.

He knew what I meant. The wedding. "A little after Samhain."

"I’m not divorcing you," I said vehemently, stubbornly.

He smiled. It was a sad, miserable one. "Traded places now, have we?"

Tears ran down my chin, soaking the collar of my shirt. "She calls you Koen. You hate being called Koen. You can’t mate with Tessa. You hate her."

His head hung. "Not as much as I love you."

I whimpered around a sob, "She killed our baby!"

He blinked. It was a very slow blink. His brows pulled together. And then, he blinked rapidly, nostrils flaring. He staggered back one step, disoriented, then a mask fell over his expression like he’d come to a sudden realization.

A dark sound slipped out of him, and he whipped around so fast, I almost didn’t catch the black swallowing the green in his eyes, but for his reflection in the windows.

"It’s already done. It won’t change anything--"

I was across the room in a heartbeat, grabbing his wrist and whirling him towards me. "Did you hear what I said? She was there that night! She drugged me. She paralyzed me! She killed Lyon--she killed us! She killed your baby! Tell me one more time that it doesn’t change anything!"