Goddess of Ice; Reborn as Naruto's twin sister

*Author Note*

Well, I decided to have some fun with this, I hope you enjoy.

*End of Author Note*

Batenda Arukoru lazily sat behind the counter of his bar and was cleaning it with a tablecloth. His bar would open in an hour, and right now, he was basically enjoying the silence before the storm. After Gaara became the new Kazekage, his business started improving at a rapid pace. In fact, Sunakagure as a whole started improving at a rapid pace after Gaara took over. It turns out that if the countries Daimyo doesn't actively sabotage its hidden village, it can actually prosper. Who would have thought?

"LET'S DRINK!!!"

*BANG*

Before Batenda could understand the situation, the door to his bar was kicked open with a loud bang. He was about to curse the person who was responsible when the curses got stuck in his throat due to seeing the guilty person. .

Brown hair, white skin, and the word love on his forehead; who else could it be but the current Kazakage, Gaara himself?

Naturally, there was no one in Suna who didn't know who Gaara was, so Batenda obviously knew him as well, but what truly baffled him was why he would be here while being clearly drunk.

"HAHAHA, THAT'S RIGHT; LET'S GET DRUNK!!!"

*BANG*

Yet again, Batenda's poor door was kicked despite it being almost entirely open.

'What the hell!? That was totally unnecessary! It was already half-open due to Kazekage-sama's kick!'

He really wanted to complain to the second person to enter his bar in such an unreasonable manner, but he didn't dare. Whoever the person was, she was clearly here with Gaara, after all.

Then, when Batenda saw a busty woman with long blond hair enter his bar, he knew that he had made the right decision. Despite that, he couldn't be happy about that in the least.

'Why is the current Hokage here!? And why in the world is she in my bar!?'

Moments later, voices were heard from outside the bar once again, but this time they were at a much more reasonable volume.

"E-Eh? I-Is kicking the door open like that really necessary, Yuna?"

"Of course! It's a sign of good manners to enter a bar like that, Hinata."

"Are you... messing with me?"

"..."

"..."

"No?"

"Right."

Moments later, the door was pushed open normally and revealed a young woman with purple hair and white eyes, followed by another woman with long brown hair and green eyes.

Batenda trembled in fear when the duo entered his bar. Although he recognized Mei as the current Mizukage, that wasn't the reason for his fear. He heard Hinata's words, specifically, the person she called. Hinata and Yuna weren't precisely unknown names in the shinobi world, especially when they were paired together.

'Is Yuna Uzumaki here? In my shop? In the middle of Sunagakure? Will my shop be fine? No, even more critical, will Suna be fine?'

As a barkeeper, he heard many things about a lot of people, and Yuna Uzumaki was a person that was brought up rather frequently. Naturally, Batenda has never met her in person, but he had not the slightest doubt about one thing: Yuna Uzumaki was a walking calamity.

She was uncontrollable and did whatever she wanted. The most famous story about her was definitely how she got her title, "Bijuu Slayer". While civil war was brewing in Kirigakure, she waltzed over there and straight up killed the Fourth Mizukage. Naturally, that wasn't the official story, but Batenda did not believe that nonsense about Konoha sending their Jinchuuriki over to help Kiri for even a second.

Others, who didn't hear as many stories about her as he did, might think otherwise, but he had no doubts that Yuna went there on her own.

'Today's final goal: survive today without losing my bar.'

As if to spite Batenda's thoughts, Yuna's voice echoed from outside the door.

"HAHAHA, I WILL SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE, YOU AMATEURS!!!"

*BANG*

Another bang echoed through the bar, but this time, the door was not involved in it.

Instead of entering through the door, Yuna straight up burst through the wall, leaving a Yuna-shaped hole behind.

Batenda's face twitched in irritation when Yuna's first action was damaging his shop. He was going to complain to her no matter what, but before he could do so, something soft hit his face.

"That for compensation. No clue how much it is, but it should be enough...Maybe? Properly!"

Batenda was confused about what Yuna was talking about, but moments later, he saw what hit him in the face. A stack of money, a lot of it. Probably more than his whole bar was worth.

He also realized that Yuna seemed to have no clue whether this really was enough money or not, so for a split second, greed flashed across his face, which he quickly suppressed. He would rather not die by suicide with an ice spike through his head.

So, his face twisted into what properly was supposed to be a smile but looked more like he was about to start crying any moment.

"I wasn't expecting to receive such prestigious guests today. Welcome to my humble bar, Kazakage-sama, Hokage-sama, Mizukage-sama, Hinata-sama, and Uzumaki-sama."

Batenda really wanted to curse but couldn't. He was just a humble civilian, but now, he had to serve three Kage and two people who probably could fight a Kage.

After realizing his current situation, he quickly readjusted his goals.

'Very well. I don't think my bar will survive this, but as long as I can keep my life, everything is fine. I can easily buy a new one or rebuild the destroyed one on a much grander scale with the money I just got. Right now, the situation doesn't look too bad. Even though Yuna is a dangerous person, as far as I have heard, she doesn't kill people indiscriminately, so I should be fine, right?'

Before he could ponder more about his situation, Gaara reached the bar, sat down, and immediately started speaking.

"Let's start! Bring out the drinks!"

Batenda's already stiff smile stiffened even further when he heard Gaara's order. After all, Gaara didn't specify what kind of drink he wanted at all, so Batenda could pretty much choose anything from water up to the strongest alcohol he got.

'W-Will I really be okay? M-Maybe, Kazekage-sama is the dangerous one this time?'