Chapter 363: Ten Months I

Greg and Lea did not answer immediately. Regis then rubbed his palms against his trousers, then looked up with an unsteady smile.

"It sounds stupid when I say it like that, doesn’t it? We knew it was dangerous."

"Regis..." Greg began.

"But I really thought we could do it." His smile disappeared. "We’d finished so many quests. Everyone was getting stronger, and I..."

He swallowed, struggling to take a full breath.

"I got comfortable."

Lea moved to the seat beside him.

"I kept thinking I could handle it. If something happened, I’d find a way. I always found something, so I thought..."

His voice caught. He pressed his lips together, embarrassed by the sound that escaped him.

Greg reached for the cup before Regis’s shaking hand could knock it over.

"I should’ve tried harder."

"You did try," Lea said softly.

"Then why couldn’t I save them?"

The question came out louder than he intended.

Regis stared at her, his eyes widening slightly before he lowered his head.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..."

Lea’s hand closed around his.

He tried to pull in another breath. All he could think of was the moment before each of them died, searching it again for something he should have noticed, something he could have done sooner.

Brutt. Zild. The others.

People who had followed him because they believed he would bring them home.

"I brought them there..."

His vision blurred. He wiped his face impatiently, but more tears slipped down before he could lower his hand.

"I was supposed to..."

Lea pulled him against her shoulder.

Regis tried to finish anyway. His fingers caught the fabric of her sleeve as Greg sat on his other side, resting a hand against his back.

"I should’ve been able to save them."

This time, he could barely understand his own words.

He bent forward between his two friends and cried.

Neither answered immediately. He rubbed his palms against his trousers, then looked up with an unsteady smile.

"It sounds stupid when I say it like that, doesn’t it? We knew it was dangerous."

"Regis..." Greg began.

"But I really thought we could do it." His smile disappeared. "We’d finished so many quests. Everyone was getting stronger, and I..."

He swallowed, struggling to take a full breath.

"I got comfortable."

Lea moved to the seat beside him.

"I kept thinking I could handle it. If something happened, I’d find a way. I always found something, so I thought..."

His voice caught. He pressed his lips together, embarrassed by the sound that escaped him.

Greg reached for the cup before Regis’s shaking hand could knock it over.

"I should’ve tried harder."

"You did try," Lea said softly.

"Then why couldn’t I save them?"

The question came out louder than he intended.

Regis stared at her, his eyes widening slightly before he lowered his head.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to..."

Lea’s hand closed around his.

He tried to pull in another breath. All he could think of was the moment before each of them died, searching it again for something he should have noticed, something he could have done sooner.

Brutt. Zild. The others.

People who had followed him because they believed he would bring them home.

"I brought them there..."

His vision blurred. He wiped his face impatiently, but more tears slipped down before he could lower his hand.

"I was supposed to..."

Lea pulled him against her shoulder.

Regis tried to finish anyway. His fingers caught the fabric of her sleeve as Greg sat on his other side, resting a hand against his back.

"I should’ve been able to save them."

This time, he could barely understand his own words.

He bent forward between his two friends and cried.

Greg moved closer, keeping his hand against Regis’s back. Lea’s shoulder was already damp by the time Regis managed to lift his head, and when he tried to apologise, she pressed a clean cloth into his hand.

"Here."

He wiped his face, struggling to breathe through his nose.

"When I saw Perto earlier..." Greg stopped, rubbing his mouth before trying again. "I looked behind him. I thought Brutt would be getting down next."

Regis’s fingers tightened around the cloth.

"We’d already received the news. I knew he wouldn’t be there." Greg lowered his gaze. "I still looked."

For a while, Regis could only hear the uneven sound of his own breathing. Beside him, Lea wiped at her cheek with her free hand.

"I wanted to tell them about us," She murmured. "I thought they’d make a fuss. Say they’d known for ages, or ask what took us so long..." Her lips trembled. "I’d even thought of what I’d say back."

Regis stared at the cloth in his hands. He had spent the journey thinking about the people they were bringing home, dreading the moment someone would ask about those who were missing.

Greg and Lea had been waiting for them too.

"I was leading them," He said. "I should’ve—"

"Regis." Greg’s hand stilled against his back. "I don’t know what you could’ve done. I wasn’t there. But the people who attacked you... they’re the ones who did this."

"If I’d been stronger..."

"You almost didn’t come home either," Lea said, her voice shaking. "Do you know how scared we were?"

He looked at her reddened eyes and found himself unable to answer.

"I’m glad you’re here," She continued. "I wish they were here too. Of course I do."

Regis tried to speak, but his throat tightened again. Lea drew him closer, and this time, he let himself lean against her without apologising.

They remained there long after the tea had gone cold.

***

The following morning, Aurelia found him in the sitting room with a blanket over his knees.

He had slept for a few hours before waking with his heart racing. Even after he recognised his room, he had been unable to close his eyes again.

"Have the others woken up?" He asked.

"Some of them. Vanessa was with Perto when I went past." Aurelia sat down across from him. "Morgana asked if anyone would need her today."

"What did you tell her?"

"To go back to bed."