Chapter 86: Letting Go

The restaurant doors closed behind them, cutting off the warm music and quiet conversations from inside as Jet, Nadia and Inez stepped onto the evening street.

Zenith City had fully transitioned into night while they were eating. Light from the surrounding buildings spilled across the pavement, mixing with the headlights of passing vehicles and the illuminated signs covering the commercial district.

There were still plenty of people around, but the streets were comfortable rather than crowded, and Jet found himself appreciating the cooler air after what had just happened inside.

Inez walked several steps ahead of them with an unmistakable spring in her stride.

She looked extremely pleased with herself.

Jet watched his younger sister for a moment before shaking his head. He wasn’t sure whether he should be proud or concerned that a seven-year-old had managed to turn an awkward encounter with his ex-girlfriend into a complete disaster without needing assistance from anyone.

Nadia walked quietly beside him.

Too quietly.

Jet eventually glanced toward her and found her staring straight ahead with a small smile threatening to appear at the corner of her mouth.

He immediately knew what was coming.

Nadia waited another few seconds before looking at him. "So, boyfriend, is there something you forgot to tell me? Because I don’t remember being informed that I had entered a relationship tonight."

Jet’s face tightened with embarrassment. He lifted one hand and scratched the back of his head, suddenly finding the pavement much easier to look at than Nadia. "Yeah, about that... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dragged you into it without asking. It was the first stupid thing that came into my head."

Nadia let him suffer for another moment before chuckling. There was no real irritation in her expression, although she still gave him a light shove against the shoulder. "I’ll forgive you because watching Inez nearly give that woman an aneurysm was worth it. But since you used me as a human shield against your ex-girlfriend, you owe me another dinner."

Jet looked at her and nodded immediately. "Okay. That’s fair."

Nadia’s eyebrows rose. "That was easy."

Jet gave her a tired smile. "I’ve learned that arguing with the women around me usually increases the amount I owe them."

"I taught him well!" Inez shouted from several steps ahead.

Jet stared at the back of her head. "Why are you listening to our conversation?"

Inez turned around while continuing to walk backward, her hands clasped behind her back. "Because you’re talking loud enough for me to hear."

Jet pointed toward the pavement ahead of her. "Turn around before you walk into someone."

Inez obeyed, although the giggle that followed made it obvious she had no intention of giving them privacy.

The three continued walking.

Their conversation gradually faded, and for a while only the sounds of the city accompanied them. Jet’s amusement over what had happened inside the restaurant remained, but something quieter had begun settling underneath it.

Miriam.

He hadn’t thought about her much since their breakup. There had been too much happening for him to waste time wondering what his ex-girlfriend was doing. Yet seeing her again had stirred something he hadn’t expected, and it wasn’t jealousy over the man standing beside her.

Nadia seemed to notice his change in mood.

She remained silent for a while longer before asking, "How did it actually feel?"

Jet looked toward her. "What?"

"Seeing Miriam again," Nadia clarified. Her voice had lost most of its teasing now. "You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I’m curious. You haven’t seen her since she broke up with you, and now she sees you again after you’ve become an Awakener. Did it feel good? Did you feel superior? Were you hoping she’d regret leaving you?"

Jet’s first instinct was to laugh the question away.

He didn’t.

Instead, he looked ahead at Inez and thought about it properly.

Miriam’s widened eyes when she saw his Awakener identification returned to his mind. So did the subtle change in her expression when she realized he was a licensed Raider.

Jet remembered enjoying it. He remembered the small burst of satisfaction when the confidence disappeared from her face, and he especially remembered deciding to call Nadia his girlfriend simply because some childish part of him wanted to push the situation a little further.

After several seconds, Jet exhaled.

"I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a bigger reaction," Jet admitted. "When she looked shocked after seeing the licenses, it felt good. For a moment, I wanted her reaction to be even bigger. I wanted her to stare at me and realize she’d made some enormous mistake. Maybe regret everything, maybe even cry or beg me to take her back."

Jet gave a quiet laugh at himself and shook his head. "My ego would’ve loved that."

Nadia didn’t laugh at him.

She simply listened.

Jet slipped his hands into his pockets as they continued walking. "That’s the embarrassing part. I don’t want her back. Even if she had actually asked, I would’ve said no. But I still wanted her to regret losing me, which doesn’t make much sense when you think about it."

"It makes plenty of sense," Nadia replied. "Being over someone and being over what they did to your pride aren’t necessarily the same thing."

That made Jet glance toward her.

Nadia continued before he could respond. "You were dumped. You can pretend you’re above it now because your life changed so much afterward, but being rejected hurts. Especially when it’s someone you cared about. Then you see that person again after your circumstances improve dramatically, and some part of you wants proof that they were wrong about you."

Jet considered that.

The uncomfortable thing was how accurately it described what had happened.

Miriam’s opinion shouldn’t have mattered anymore.

Yet it had.

Only for a few minutes, perhaps, but when she saw his licenses, Jet had cared about what appeared on her face.

"I thought I’d grown past it," Jet admitted quietly. "Then she looked surprised that I was an Awakener, and suddenly I was enjoying myself way too much. I even pulled you into it just to make things worse."

Nadia smiled faintly. "That part was definitely immature."

Jet gave her an offended look. "You could’ve softened it a little."

"You asked for my perspective."

"I don’t remember asking to be attacked."

Nadia laughed before her expression softened again. "Jet, realizing that you still have some pride attached to what happened doesn’t mean you haven’t grown. If anything, you’d have a bigger problem if you spent the next month pretending you felt absolutely nothing while secretly hoping she heard stories about how successful you’d become."

Jet’s smile faded as he thought about those words.

Ahead of them, Inez had become distracted by one of the illuminated displays outside a store. She slowed down to stare through the glass, giving Jet and Nadia time to catch up.

Nadia looked toward Miriam’s restaurant behind them before continuing. "And I don’t think you need to prove anything to her anyway. The two of you are already moving into completely different realities. She has whatever life she wants to build, and you have yours. You’re an Awakener now. You’re entering Dungeons and doing things most people will never experience. Whatever happened between you two belongs to the version of your life that came before all of this."

Jet’s expression changed slightly.

For Nadia, those words only referred to his life before the Second Red Moon.

For Jet, they carried considerably more weight.

There really had been another life.

He had already lived ten years beyond this moment.

In that life, Miriam had died.

That knowledge had once made their breakup difficult to process after regression. He knew things she didn’t. He remembered a future she had never experienced.

Some part of him had looked at eighteen-year-old Miriam through memories belonging to a twenty-eight-year-old man, carrying grief, affection, resentment and guilt from events that hadn’t happened yet.

But this Miriam wasn’t the woman from those memories.

She was eighteen.

She had broken up with him.

She had found someone else.

And she was free to live whatever life this timeline gave her.

Jet realized he had been carrying feelings from two different lives and treating them as though they belonged to the same relationship.

They didn’t.

Nadia watched him quietly before adding, "Maybe she regrets leaving you one day. Maybe she doesn’t. Maybe she gets married, becomes successful and completely forgets about you. None of those things change what happens to your life unless you keep looking backward to check whether she’s watching."

Jet was silent.

That sentence landed harder than anything else she had said.

He had spent the past month preparing for the future because he knew exactly how terrible it could become. Every decision had been about moving forward faster than he had the first time. Yet somewhere inside him, he had apparently still wanted someone from his past to turn around and acknowledge how far he had come.

It suddenly seemed ridiculous.

Jet exhaled slowly, feeling something loosen inside his chest.

"I think that’s what bothered me," Jet said. "Her reaction mattered to me. Not enough that I would’ve changed anything, but enough that I noticed it. Enough that I enjoyed it."

Nadia nodded. "Then notice it, admit it and move on. You don’t need to turn every ugly little feeling into some deep flaw that has to be defeated. Sometimes your ego gets bruised. Sometimes you enjoy proving someone wrong. You’re human."

Jet looked at her for several seconds before smiling. "When did you become wise?"

Nadia immediately ruined the moment by giving him a smug look. "Probably around the same time I became your girlfriend without being consulted."

Jet groaned. "You’re never letting that go, are you?"

"Absolutely not," Nadia replied cheerfully. "I’m getting at least three months of entertainment out of this."

Inez finally abandoned the shop window and hurried back toward them. She reached Jet, grabbed his hand and began telling him about something she had seen inside with enough enthusiasm that whatever heaviness remained in the conversation naturally disappeared.

Jet listened as they walked.

He didn’t look back toward the restaurant.

For ten years, Miriam had existed in his memories as someone connected to a future that had already died. Tonight, for a few childish minutes, he had wanted validation from her. He had wanted shock, regret and perhaps even envy because some old piece of wounded pride wanted proof that being left behind hadn’t meant he was worth less.

He didn’t need that proof anymore.

Miriam had her life.

Jet had his.

Whatever choices she made from this point onward belonged to her, and whatever she eventually thought about him no longer needed to matter.

Jet tightened his hand gently around Inez’s smaller one as Nadia walked beside them, still threatening to collect the additional dinner he now owed her.

Then he continued forward without looking back.